impending birth

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to this life?"--Matthew 6:25-27

It's been over a month since I posted anything, and probably longer than that with anything of any depth. I'm close to being 38 weeks pregnant and have been having all kinds of stressful thoughts creeping in all the time. Lewis came at 38 weeks so it seems like it could be any time now, but I even doubt my ability to know the signs of labor.

Adding to my stress lately has been another flea infestation. We had one last year that was definitely worse. Still, the idea of bringing a newborn home to get bitten by fleas is not a happy one! We got rid of our cat, who was actually helping the situation with her Frontline treatment, but I do feel better that there is not cat fur everywhere. All in all, it feels like we are winning the war now........but it all started May 1st, so it's been a struggle that has robbed me of sleep and given me that itchy feeling all over that is quite frustrating.

Another area of fear involves caring for two kids who can't speak! Lewis is not making much progress in communication. He has learned one new sign in the last 3 months or so. The state has denied our request for additional speech therapy (and oddly, recommended we lessen the amount to twice a month instead of once a week......I guess because progress is not being made?). Financially things are always tight for us too, but knowing another child is coming into our lives has added to the stress of that also, causing more than a few arguments with my dear husband.

It seems like lately as I look at things it has been easier to be frustrated or spin my wheels trying to do what I can to make things better instead of really seeking the Lord and his plan in all this. It's dawned on me that the fleas are probably more a wake-up call meant to push me over the edge in my dependence on the Lord. I feel like I've been carrying this huge burden and God is whispering, "Hello!!! I'm right here, hand all that over and let me carry it."

Sadly, much of my spiritual enrichment lately has come from Streams in the Desert, the little devotional book put together by L.B. Cowman. Not that it is bad....I just long for time and energy to dig deeper. This week, many of the readings have been about enduring through trials and seeing God's blessings through them.

"You are suffering through these tests, but know that God sees sweet flowers of faith springing up in your life beneath these very trials. You try to escape the pain, yet God sees tender compassion for other sufferers finding birth in your soul. Your heart winces at the pain of heavy grief, but God sees the sorrow deepening and enriching your life.

No, my friend, it is not raining afflictions on you. It is raining tenderness, love, compassion, patience, and a thousand other flowers and fruits of the blessed Holy Spirit. And they are bringing to your life spiritual enrichment that all the prosperity and ease of this world could never produce in your innermost being."

I know everyone is dealing with something out there! I'm really trying to rest and trust God's holy character.......that his love for me is constant and unchanging, and he is accomplishing his purposes in my life through all this.

Top Names for 2007

According to the Social Security Administration, here are the top names from last year.

Top 10 Names for 2007

Rank	Male name	Female name
1	Jacob	Emily
2	Michael	Isabella
3	Ethan	Emma
4	Joshua	Ava
5	Daniel	Madison
6	Christopher	Sophia
7	Anthony	Olivia
8	William	Abigail
9	Matthew	Hannah
10	Andrew	Elizabeth
Note: Rank 1 is the most popular, rank 2 is the next most popular, and so forth.

single parenting--sort of

My husband, Justin, is traveling with his band this week and I have had a taste of single parenting. Granted, this is nothing compared to those who have to work and support their families while being the sole parental influence. I cannot begin to imagine how tough that would be. Still, I've been amazed at how well things are going.

Lately, as I become more and more pregnant (or just larger), I've been so tired and when the afternoon hits it feels like I might fall apart. But usually around that time, Justin comes home and helps relieve the weight of parenting. With Justin out of the picture, we have planned a lot of activities to keep us around other people which has been a huge help. It feels like somehow Lewis senses that things are more laid back right now. I'm not sure whether it is just God answering my prayers that he will be a cooperative child, or possibly Lewis is actually maturing. But he has been a true delight this week. I have been expecting him to fight me at mealtimes and other transitional times when he tends to get upset, but really he has been more agreeable than ever.

Maybe I'm finally getting the hang of parenting.......or just knowing that there's no one else to pick up the slack gives me a different tone that Lewis does not want to cross. Either way, I hope some of this behavior sticks around.

God's promise to abraham & sarah

"Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him." --Genesis 21:1-2

Lewis got a children's Bible for Easter and we have been reading it every morning. Not that he is very interested or can understand the stories just yet (it's really for kids 4 years +), but I figure it's a good habit to get into. Oddly enough, it has been great for me because as we read, I think about the stories and go back to the actual scripture to get the whole picture.

The story of Abraham and Sarah has had me thinking a great deal about God's faithfulness, and about our desire to help God out when we think he needs it. If you go back to Genesis 15 and 16, God makes his promise that Abraham's offspring will be numerous and eventually bring about the Savior who turns out to be Jesus.

In Sarah's mind this was impossible. Her alternative was to give her maidservant to Abraham and "build a family through her." Abraham agrees and immediately there is hostility between the two women as a result. This whole thing is so similar to what we do all the time. We know God loves us and will take care of us, but often we don't see how he is going to make our lives come together and work. Women are great at coming up with a good plan to "solve" things. Unfortunately these plans often make things worse.

The beauty in this story is that God remains faithful to Sarah, and carries out his plan as promised--despite her lack of faith. Sarah is the one to become pregnant and give birth to Isaac in her very old age. God blesses Ishmael as well, but it is a different type of blessing. Sarah's line is the one that leads to Christ.

The women's Bible study I attend is studying Galatians. We have been discussing at length our freedom in Christ and how we tend to put ourselves back under the law instead of trusting in God's grace alone for our salvation and daily living. Though it is a gift, we try to earn our salvation and God's blessing by doing all kinds of 'good' works.

Galatians 4 sums up Sarah's story this way, "Tell me, you who want to be under the law, are you not aware of what the law says? For it is written that Abraham had two sons, one by the slave woman and the other by the free woman. His son by the slave woman was born in the ordinary way; but his son by the free woman was born as the result of a promise...........Now you, brothers, like Isaac, are children of promise. At that time the son born in the ordinary way persecuted the son born by the power of the Spirit. It is the same now. But what does the Scripture say? 'Get rid of the slave woman and her son, for the slave woman's son will never share in the inheritance with the free woman's son.' Therefore, brothers, we are not children of the slave woman, but of the free woman."

It is wonderful to live in that freedom. I pray for my faith to be strengthened by abiding in Christ so that I can trust God to fulfill his will for me without worrying about things or trying to fix them on my own. God doesn't need my help after all! God does ask for me to act in obedience and to do good, but my faithfulness thankfully does not determine his next move. What a joy to know and rest in this truth!

my cool doctor and group b strep

The time has gotten away from me. My last doctor's appointment was 2 weeks ago, and I meant to post right after, but somehow it hasn't happened. It was a great appointment and I'm hoping this post can be somewhat informative because I've been doing a lot of research that hopefully will help my next delivery go better, and maybe help out others out there who carry the Group B Strep.

For those of you who need a refresher......my last labor was anything but normal, mostly consisting of back pain. And while I knew that I was a GBS carrier, I had always heard that by getting antibiotics during delivery that everything would be fine. Well, Lewis caught it coming through the birth canal which led to his own blood infection and a 10-day stay in the NICU. It mainly caused his heart rate to fluctuate randomly, and his breathing to be hard and difficult. It was a rough start to his life, and our parenthood, which we do not want to re-live.

With this in mind, I've been doing research about GBS and had a great chat with my doctor (Joseph Gass) at my last appointment. First of all, I have to give a shout out to Nicole Martin for recommending him. He has been a refreshing change from my last OB, who I was honestly afraid to talk to about a number of things. Dr. Gass treats me like a person, and has made it clear that how I choose to deliver is fine with him. If I want pain meds, great. If not, (which is my goal) fine too.

He had said that because I had passed GBS on to Lewis that we would go into this next delivery assuming that I am still a carrier and take every precaution to keep the new baby safe. The first time around, my OB nurse said that they like to get two rounds of antibiotics through before delivery. Because I was only at the hospital about 6 hours before Lewis arrived (and they didn't check me for quite a while because they were delivering other babies and didn't think I was in labor), I did not get that much before delivery. However, the studies I looked at show that it's not so much the amount of antibiotics the mother receives, but instead the time over which she receives it that makes a difference. Four hours of receiving antibiotics seemed to be a minimum amount of time that kept moms from passing on GBS.

In talking to my doctor, he said he really recommends six hours of antibiotics to insure safety for the baby. Because my last labor was so weird, we agreed that it would be okay for me to play it safe and come on in when I suspect I'm in labor and get checked out to make sure I'm not rushed like the last time around. Since I only live 5 minutes from the hospital, it will not be a huge deal if I get sent home.

The other random thing I found in my research was a connection between developmental delays and babies who have contracted GBS. Apparently there is a high statistic of those babies who have been infected to have delays, which may explain some of Lewis' issues. My doctor seemed to think I might be right about that too. He shared an example of a similar situation with me that would support my hypothesis.

All of this to say...........it is sooooooooooooo wonderful to have a doctor who listens and cares and shows his support of me and this baby I'm carrying. It gives me much hope that things will go better this time around. If you are pregnant and test positive for Group B Strep, keep these things in mind. Doctors and nurses are wonderful, but they are preoccupied with a million things, and you are the one who needs to ask questions and push for IV's to get started in case they are dragging their feet. Don't learn the hard way!!

The other thing is to find a doctor or midwife who cares. If you can't talk freely about the concerns you have it might mean another doctor would be a better choice. It's so much easier the second time around because you know more what you want. I really feel like God led me here and it's a good place to be. :)

nesting

Well......it happened this week, or maybe last. I dove into nesting mode. I've been digging through boxes of old stuff, taking things to the Goodwill and throwing tons of junk away. Two things are my big hang ups: photos and letters.

For some reason, I have a collection of photos that are probably copies of pictures in albums, but they're all in boxes here or there. When I start looking through them I get all sentimental and decide I can't part with them quite yet. But when I stop to think about it, it would not be devastating if a fire came and swept it all away......and would probably make the process easier! But it remains a struggle.

The letters have been funny and encouraging to read. Since email did not become prevalent until my junior year of college, I have so many letters from various friends, my sisters, and a few from my mom (those I'm keeping!), but most are getting tossed.

Jumping into nostalgia mode is so weird. I was going through all this stuff today during Lewis' nap. When he woke up, Justin got him and brought him into our office (future home of baby #2) and suddenly all those old relationships seemed trivial. Don't get me wrong.....I learned a lot from so many of these friends, and am happy to still be in touch with many of them. But seeing Lewis and his little life, as frustrating as he can be at times, reminded me that he's worth so much more than all those other friendships combined. What a blessing to be a mom and to have the (mostly!) innocent love of a toddler.

Leave your nesting tips, please!

connecting with other moms

The other day I received an email from Teresa Bell Kindred, a local writer, author and speaker. She came across this blog while preparing for an upcoming segment on WBKO's Midday Live broadcast called "Mom Moments." Teresa appears every other Wednesday on Midday Live, and will be on tomorrow (March 5th) to give ideas and advice about connecting with other moms around you.

This blog is a tool that allows us to connect with other moms anywhere they are from the comfort of our own homes. But in conjunction with Teresa's segment, I would love to hear your feedback on this topic. How have you been able to connect with other moms in your area for support, playgroups or just conversation? Has it been easy or difficult? Is face to face contact important to you? Why?

Face to face contact with other moms is very important to me, personally. Just after Lewis was born, a friend from church invited me to join a group of moms for prayer and support. All of us had given birth within a six month period, so we were dealing with many of the same issues. This group has continued to meet for more than 18 months now, and has been a huge source of strength and encouragement for me. There are other moms I see occasionally for play dates too, and I make it a priority to get out and expose Lewis to other kids of varying ages. I have learned so much from being around other moms and seeing how they interact with, discipline and teach their children.

Anyone in the Bowling Green area interested in joining a playgroup, please leave a comment or email me directly at shelleygwen@gmail.com with your general location, number of children and their ages, and available meeting times. If there is enough interest, we will do our best to put some groups together.

If an online video of Teresa's segment becomes available, we will post that here as well. Thanks for your feedback, as always!