"My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber............The Lord watches over you--the Lord is your shade at your right hand."--Psalm 121:2-5
Well, the other day wore me out. Tuesday was a bad day for Lewis. He had a hard time with his teeth and other digestive issues which made him hard to handle. It was Justin's day off (though this is usually on Mondays) and by the time he got up after 10 a.m. I was ready for a break. Justin was more than agreeable to let me go, and so that afternoon, I got away. I stopped in to see a friend, but just for a few minutes. It was nice to have my arms free and I drove around while listening to an old Christmas Conference talk on God. Mostly just how big and awesome he is. The main passage was from Job. It was a nice back-drop to turn my thoughts heaven-ward after a frustrating morning.
Well, I went into T.J. Maxx to see what they had. I love their home stuff. They always have really cool stationery and journals. I was looking at some coffee mugs when a couple of items caught my eye. I picked them up to read the label to be sure, but on the shelves in Bowling Green, KY was the real thing--Polish pottery! You have to understand, after living in Eastern Europe for 2 years, Polish pottery is a treasure, and one that we would travel 13 hours by train to obtain. One of the sacrifices of becoming a parent for me has been international travel. Once you live abroad it gets in your blood and it feels confining to stay in the U.S. for too long. It's not something I think of consciously very often. When I saw that pottery, it felt like God was saying, "You may not be able to go to Poland, but I brought a piece of Poland here to you." It was like he was telling me that even when things seem mundane and trying in my little world, he still sees me and loves me. Often times it seems like my trials as a mother are so small in comparison with war and famine that I forget that God is aware of me every minute. Needless to say, I spent some leftover birthday money buying several things! They now serve as reminders that God is huge and is willing to surprise me when i need a lift.
I highly recommend getting away if the opportunity arises. When I got home, Justin was quite frazzled himself which I hate to say brought me some inward joy. He now understands me a little better, and the absence definitely made my heart grow fonder toward Lewis!
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4 comments:
Good for you, Shelley, and what a blessing to have a husband who is willing to help and give you a break! I know of many moms who deal with the attitude from their spouse of, "I'm just not interested in babies... I'll spend time with them when they're older." Or worse, "What's the big deal? It's not so hard to take care of a baby." When I went through that difficult time in my relationship with God, everything that mattered to me was falling apart. My relationships with my extended family members were suddenly horribly strained and painful, my husband was going through some enormous trials and was suffering from depression, and my 4 year old was fighting me at every moment. We were not in a solid church situation, so I had very few friends to lean on. I was trying to homeschool for our first year, and I had a 2 year old and a baby. One of the best things in the world that ever happened to me was Wednesday mornings. My husband would take the girls out for breakfast or to the park or the book store or something to have Daddy time (he's off on Wed.'s). I would go to B&N (sorry- we didn't know about Spencers then) and sit and drink hot cocoa and read and pray and just soak up some silence. I would make lists of things that were stressing me out or that I wanted to improve on, etc. It was absolutely sanity-saving. I did that every week for about a year, and much improved in my life just for having those 2 hours a week of quiet. Kevin (my husband) and my daughters really bonded in new ways. It was a blessing for all of us. Not a bad idea to make a weekly thing. And, another thing that has been a HUGE blessing: Kevin and I go out to lunch or to get coffee once a week almost without fail. My mother in law watches the girls (tho sometimes we still bring the baby) and we get an hour to reconnect. As you may have noticed, conversations are difficult to hold with little ones around. Protecting that time together helps our family run more smoothly, and it's true that our hearts grow more fond for our kids.
Oh Shelley,
you made me feel nastalgic:)
God is like that - He is our perfect encourager!
I am so glad you have shared your latest experience with Him:)
We do tend to think well, now with a child I GIVE UP this or that, I peronally found it to be destructive to my attitude,.. not that I don't do it any more but I am more awair of what it's going to do to me if I let it roll. I find it also degrading God's good gifts that He gave me,.. So I pray and cultivate thanksgiving in my heart for what I have:)
May God continue to fill your heart with thanksgiving and joy today!
To Yulia's comment:
"We do tend to think well, now with a child I GIVE UP this or that, I personally found it to be destructive to my attitude..."
I've found that I feel terribly guilty doing things for myself that I used to just do without thinking. Like I bought some new Mary Kay makeup last week, and I've been spending time actually getting myself ready in the morning. I feel good in the sense that I'm more confident in my appearance, but I also feel GUILTY! I can't exactly explain it, but I've found myself wondering if it's godly to be spending time taking care of myself. I know that sounds weird, and it's hard to verbalize in a way that makes sense. I know the obvious answer is - of course you should take care of yourself! But I think with motherhood has come a certain feeling within me that being self-sacrificing is good and godly...or something like that. And I used to feel great and reenergized after spending an evening pampering myself with a bath and whatever else, but now I start to feel great and then check myself, wondering if I'm "allowed" that time. If any of you have struggled with this feeling too, perhaps you'll know what I mean. I'm honestly still trying to work it out in my head and figure out why I even feel this way. I'd be interested to know your all's thoughts, if this is something you feel from time to time. - Sarah
I guess my only feeling is that self sacrificing does not necessarily equal godly. I guess it depends on your motive.
I do know this, it is important to get yourself ready in the morning (maybe not every morning) and take time for yourself occasionally. This does not make you a bad Mom. I think the Proverbs women took good care of herself while also taking good care of her family. It would be one thing if your actions were destructive to the family, but putting on make up in the morning or enjoying a bath at night is certainly not destructive.
This has nothing to do with scripture, but I know I want my husband and my children to be proud of me. This means I do need to get up early and get ready, put on a little make up, do my hair and splash on a little perfume. Like I said, there are plenty of days when I hang out at home and only take a shower and throw my hair up in a clip, but if I'm going to be out in public, I want my family to be proud of me. I think this also translates into how you keep your car, the outside of your house and the apperance of my children. Nothing has to be perfect (my house, my car, my apperance, and my children are almost NEVER perfect, oh my goodness I need to work harder on everything) but I do think non Christians are watching us in all aspects of our lives.
Maybe I'm way out of line, I know I certainly don't know everything, but those are my two cents.
Heather :)
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