random nursing story

Sometimes people really surprise me. Yesterday was no exception. I was driving home from a visit with Justin's parents in Shepherdsville. My plan for Lewis to sleep the whole way did not pan out, and he was getting fussy and we were still a good 30 miles from home. So I pulled off in Munfordville, KY behind the DQ in the parking lot of a strip mall, determined to feed Lewis as quickly as possible and get back on the road. We've done this many times in desperate situations where there was no private area to nurse a baby. Side note: I'm not into breastfeeding in public. Lewis refuses to stay covered up and gets so distracted that I usually feed him in a low-lit room even at home.

My strategy in these parked-car situations is to pull to the back of the lot where there are few, if any, other cars. I have to sit in the passenger seat so that there is room to maneuver. In Munfordville, I found my spot, got set up and started nursing, when about 5 cars pulled in and parked all around me. I had rolled down the windows because it was hot, and so the car on my right was very up close and personal. I turned to look, trying to stay covered, and was relieved that it was a woman, probably in her 40's. I smiled and nodded and turned my attention back to Lewis. This woman proceeded to stand there, watching, saying sweetly, "Oh my, you have a LITTLE one!" When I realized she was not going to leave I said, "He gets very distracted while he eats if you don't mind." She quickly turned and walked off, seemingly offended.

The next thing I knew, a car was backing into the spot to my left. When this car got parked, the driver also had a very good view. To my dismay, this driver was a man, who rolled down his windows and just sat there! Lewis was angry because I was no longer feeding him at all with our new visitor. Frustrated I turned to the man and said, "Excuse me, I'm trying to nurse my baby. Is it possible you could park somewhere else?" He seemed sincerely apologetic and said, "I'm sorry, sure I can move. I'm just here to pick someone up from some training. They told us to park back here."

Just my luck!! As soon as my new friend left, I calmed down and was able to feed my boy, and we were back on the road in no time. The situation was frustrating, but I could not figure out why the first lady felt so comfortable watching a stranger nurse. It seemed obvious that I was trying to be private. My mothering reaction was to chase off the intruder, at which I quickly succeeded. Maybe someone should invent window shades that provide cover saying, "EXCUSE ME, I'm breastfeeding!" I'm sure this little lady in Munfordville is writing on her blog about what a rude, young mother chased her away from a beautiful moment. Hopefully we will both be able to move on and forgive each other. :)

Sorry to vent. I just couldn't believe it! Early on strangers said all kinds of weird things to me just walking around with Lewis, but this one took the cake!! Do any of you have any weird stories like this?

what about dinner?

Last week I finally went to a MOPS meeting! It was fun and encouraging. The speaker was Robin Shea, who does a segment on our local news channel, WBKO's Midday Live every Wednesday called "Meals in Minutes." She got into meal stacking as a mother of four (correct me, someone, if that is incorrect!). She talked at MOPS about the importance of families eating together regularly. Obviously, there are plenty of demands on our time that makes this kind of thing hard, especially as children get bigger. But the statistics show that kids who eat with their families 4-5 times a week are less likely to use drugs and/or engage in other deviant behaviors in their teen years.

It was rather convicting for me because we have gotten into a bad routine of dining in front of the TV. Now that Lewis is eating solids, we often feed him and then eat while he plays. We can see the benefit to sitting around a table and eating just so he can visibly picture how adults eat. When we have sat with him at the table, he does mimic what we do (sort of!) and I think it will become even more important as he gets bigger. The other benefit would be spending some quality time with your spouse. We are working on implementing Robin's ideas in our home. I grew up having dinner with my family and look at how well we turned out! (just kidding!). Do you have tips to share about how to make dinner time as a family come together?

Go to www.wbko.com/mealsinminutes for tons of free recipes to spice up your lives!

influences over the decades

A friend who is a teacher sent these lists of the top 5 influences of kids in various decades. It shows how things have changed over the last 60 years, and really not for the better!

1950's

1. Home

2. School

3. Church

4. Peers

5. TV

1980's

1. Home

2. Peers

3. TV

4. School

5. Church

1990's

1. Peers

2. TV

3. Home

4. School

5. Church

PRESENT

1. TV

2. Peers

3. School

4. Church

5. Home

authentic living

"He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'"--Matthew 18:2-4

Have you ever noticed that babies have no concern whatsoever about their personal image? Little kids are like that a lot of the time too, but at some point all humans begin to make choices in light of the way those choices will be viewed by others. For example, Lewis is never concerned about how he might look chewing on his hands, feet or any other object that may come his way. If he makes a loud, bodily noise he does not look around in shame or embarassment. When he is playing with a toy he likes, he smiles, and if he is bored, he starts to fuss. There is no thought in his mind when someone gives him a gift to pretend to like it to spare their feelings. No one expects him to be anything but genuine because that is all he is capable of being.

It occurred to me that Lewis is at a precious age of undeniable honesty. There is very little, if any, manipulation going on yet because he's just not capable of it. I can trust that when he refuses to kiss me, for example, at my consistent request, that it is not because he doesn't love me--he just doesn't want to at that moment. Smiles and laughs are real. Cries and yells are authentic.

Maybe this is why God wants us to come to him like little children. He surely wants us to come without pretense, without masks to cover our true selves. He knows our hearts anyway so there is no reason to put up a front like we are something different or better than we really are. In a world where there is pressure from every angle to live up to the expectations of others, it is refreshing to have a God who sees us the way we are, and loves us despite the ugly parts of us. That is not to say that He merely overlooks sin. No, like a loving parent, He will discipline us for our own good and for His glory. Just like we will not allow our kids to run out in the street, He will not allow us to do things that will bring eventual harm to ourselves, our families, and His body, the church, without consequences.

Sometimes the hardest part is humbling OURSELVES. Seeing myself the way God does is not fun. Self-deception is far more comfortable. We do this when we compare ourselves to others and think, "I'm at least better than that guy." This attitude enables us to hold on to "little" sins that we enjoy. Unfortunately, it builds a wall around my heart that keeps others out and limits my relationship with the Lord. It's like constantly putting a rug over a stain on the floor. The stain is still there, we just avoid looking at it for as long as possible and sometimes even forget that it exists.

Here are a few questions to think about in authentic living:

--Is there anyone you are COMPLETELY honest with in your life? Are you willing to let people hold you accountable for areas you struggle in?

--Are there parts of your life you try to keep hidden? Do you live in fear that people would reject you if they really get to know you?

--Think about the most genuine person you know (over age 1!). What do enjoy most about that relationship? How can you emulate these traits in your own life?

--In contrast--are there people around me who I need to wary of? Please do not look around to be judgmental, but ask the Lord for discernment in whom to trust. Beware of those who are eager to ask for favors, rarely (truly) apologetic and overly defensive (the opposite of humble). If you get that feeling in your gut, it may be the Holy Spirit showing you to be careful.

Join me in working toward this kind of living. Genuine people, like Lewis, are so refreshing to be around because authenticity rubs off and allows you to be you!

how's your garden?

"...you will be like a watered garden, like a flowing spring whose waters never run dry."--Isaiah 58:11

This morning I was reading a chapter in Joyce Rupp's book May I Have This Dance, which is a month-by-month guide to deepening our relationship with God. She always challenges me to set aside the view I have of myself and God even, and just be real so that I can grow. Her April chapter is fittingly about resurrection: Jesus' resurrection and my own. She compares the human spirit to a spring garden, whose soil may be packed and hard after a long winter of bitter cold weather. In order for growth to occur, it must be made ready through tilling and turning over the earth which can be back-breaking work.

Rupp writes, "This part of gardening is essential, however, if green shoots are to push their way through the soil. A garden that has a hard, packed surface will not be able to receive the life-giving moisture of the spring rains. The water will run off and fail to soak the soil."

It is so easy to cling to this hardness. Working to soften ourselves so that we can be open to newly planted seeds and the waters that help them grow is painful! When we open ourselves up to these good things, the possibility of greater pain increases.

Rupp further explains, "Nothing prevents personal transformation more than a closed mind or heart. Change cannot take place if we cling to and clutch at what we think is unchangeable. When our security is at stake, we may withdraw or fight instead of listening, instead of thinking, praying, and talking about the challenge that is before us. We defend our positions and our feelings, and find others to help us to defend them instead of letting go, receiving new information, and listening to different perspectives that call for a change in us or others." Sadly, this scenario is all too familiar in my life!

Some things to think through:

--Reflect on your life since last Easter. Where have you been open? Where have you been closed? What do they tell you about your inner life?

--Look at the inner garden of your life. Where do the waters of life flow freely? Where do you see signs of growth, birth, hope, change, nurturing? How is God coaxing life out of you? What is being raised to life in you?

As moms, if we try at all, we can easily see the Lord breathing life into ourselves and our children. He is more than able to fill our souls with joy and refresh us when we need it most.

another great article

Sarah Wilson had another article published in the Radiant newsletter. This time she shares how becoming a mom has caused "Change for the Better" in her life. It's worth taking a look at!

true love

Philip Yancey quoted a woman named Judy Morford in his book on prayer (that I've mentioned before!). She's a mom and had some interesting things to say that we can relate to. Here's her short excerpt:

"My own prayer life has been through many changes over the years. As a young mother, I had a five-year-old, a three-year-old, and a one-year-old, and I found the only time I could really pray was literally in the middle of the night. If I woke up then, I would pray. As the kids grew older, I began to get up at 4:30 in the morning to pray. I still don't have ideal conditions for regular prayer. As a mother of three teenagers and working full time, I sometimes get too tired to pray. But most days I'm able to work in some time for quiet prayer.

Because of my changing schedule over the years, I've asked myself, Just what does God expect of me in my prayer life? The answer I come up with is he wants a love relationship. He doesn't want a hired servant; he wants a bride. A true love will always find a way. It may not always be the same way, or the prescribed way, but it will be a way that reflects love. That's what God wants from me."

In my nine short months of being a mom, the thing that has surprised me the most is the constant change. As soon as I feel like we are getting into a routine, Lewis moves on to a new stage and everything shifts. It sounds like this is going to continue until he and any future siblings are out on their own. Judy's perspective reflects that graciousness that many of you have mentioned before. It's much more desirable to pray when true love is the goal, and not mere duty. It's kind of like laundry and dishes. :)

a really good Friday

"'He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.' When they hurled insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls."--1 Peter 2:22-25 (verse 22 quoted from Isaiah 53:9)

This story never gets old. What Jesus did in suffering for us is just as amazing today as it was 2000 years ago. In our "me" driven society, we just don't see people humbling themselves for the good of others, and when they do they are certainly rewarded for it. Our sinless Savior did not try to defend himself, but sought instead the favor of a heavenly judge, and an eternal glory.

recipe website

I heard about this website from my friend Heather's blog. She's pregnant with her fourth boy so she is a magnet for time-saving tips! This site offers menus with recipes and shopping lists for a week's worth of meals in several categories of recipes like slow-cooker, vegetarian and heart healthy. It's worth checking out at www.savingdinner.com . Thanks, Heather!

traditions?

With Easter fast approaching, it's got me wondering about holidays and what kinds of things we can do to make them special for Lewis while still keeping the meaning of the holiday at the forefront. Growing up we had Easter baskets and went to church. We did an Easter egg hunt around the house usually, and mom made a coconut cake. We were all happy that Jesus rose from the dead, but I just don't have a very vivid picture in my mind of much regarding our celebration of Easter.

I do remember when I was in high school that mom realized that we did not have a lot of "traditions," and felt like it was time to develop some things. At that age we were all quite reluctant to go along with too many of her suggestions. So while our family is pretty young, it would be great to hear what some others of you do to celebrate Easter (or other holidays). Any ideas?