So my last post was me sharing my anger with the world. Forgive me! I actually sent a letter to "Ed" apologizing for offending him and explaining a little more of where we were coming from. Hopefully we can all move on with our lives!
Last week, our new speech therapist came. She seems great. I was skeptical because she was the only one available and we usually get to pick from 20 or so people. When I have no option like this, I have to believe that maybe God picked her for us. She came in on Friday and asked a lot of questions about Lewis and the type of therapy we think he needs. We told her about our plan to get an ABA program in place and she offered to use the program during her appointments! I was thrilled, and even shocked that she is so accommodating. She has a cousin with autism so she is familiar with what we are going through and even applauded us for making an appointment with a DAN doctor. These are docs who test kids to see if they have food sensitivities or could benefit from biomedical interventions. Most regular doctors or therapists think all that kind of thing is wacky (even though there is lots of evidence to show it works), so I was really excited that she seems to be a kindred spirit.
She knows that biomedical stuff (gluten/casein free diet etc.) does not work for every child, but it works for enough of them that it is worth a shot.
It was really refreshing to not have to fight with someone during a whole session. What a relief! So we are on our way to something good, we hope.
This is a busy time of year, and it can get very stressful navigating kids through all the events without having a moment to slow down to reflect and ponder our Savior coming to earth as an infant of all things. What a beautiful picture of God's creative and tender heart! I don't have any inspiring words, but hope that you enjoy the season, and welcome in a new beginning in 2009. As my sister has been saying, "2008 can't be over soon enough!" We're ready for a new year. Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
a little vent
Rarely do I find myself extremely angry, but when it comes to my kids it is more likely to happen. If you are a mom you know what I mean. I'm not talking about getting angry AT my kids, but in relation to someone else involved in their lives. In this case I'm talking about our most recent speech therapist (SLP). If you have followed our blog at all, you know that Lewis is basically nonverbal. He has no words, and only a few sounds. Since we started with Kentucky's early intervention program last year, Lewis has fewer sounds, but we are starting to recover some of them.
You may find it hard to believe that indeed we have had speech therapy consistently over the last 14 months. You'd think we'd be making more progress, right? Well, yesterday at the end our speech therapy session we were informed that it would be the last with this SLP. We had already started the process to find someone new, but this guy, we'll call him Ed, took it upon himself to voice his irritation with us, and me in particular, for questioning his techniques and "yelling" at him during last week's session.
He thought he was making great progress with Lewis, but that in 21 years of experience had never had a parent yell at him before. Let me explain the scenario: Last week, Ed was working with Lewis and getting him to identify body parts on a picture of a baby in a book he had. He was then trying to get Lewis to touch his own nose or whatever it was. He'd say, "Touch YOUR nose!" very loudly, but Lewis was focused on the book and seemed to not even register was Ed was saying. After this went on for several minutes (and we only have 45), I said rather loudly, "Try taking the book away so that he can't get to it and ask him again."
Ed seemed irritated by my suggestion, but he did it and it worked at least once (though he said yesterday it didn't work at all). But yesterday he said I yelled at him, and that we didn't seem to have confidence in what he was doing with our son. Well, gee, why would we not have confidence in his techniques?! He's only been getting paid $80/hr. to play with our child without figuring out a way to encourage him to produce a single new sound....or even to more commonly use the few he has. He finished his mini lecture with something about how after his 21 years of experience in working with kids that of course he is an expert on what kids like and need and that he knows what he is doing yadda yadda yadda.
Funny, because a month or so ago I took one of the many toys Ed brought....with Lewis squealing....and said, "Do you want it back? Say 'guh guh.'" Lewis responded, "Guh guh!" and Ed said, "Let me try that." He then repeated the exercise and Lewis vocalized again. When I, a lowly uneducated parent, have to show my SLP how to get my child to make sounds, it's disappointing to say the least. But there again is the factor in regard to autism--I know my own child. Autistic kids learn differently, and not just from normal kids, but from other autistic kids too. There are ways to teach them that tend to work, but a parent's knowledge should be used and abused to make the most of whatever techniques are tried.
One last irritation with Ed. A few months ago, when it was becoming obvious that Lewis had a bigger problem, I asked Ed about techniques with autistic kids, and if we got such a diagnosis would he do therapy differently. He said no, that he would do exactly the same thing, and almost belittled our desire for a diagnosis saying that parents just want something to hang their hat on for blame or whatever. The one bright spot in getting a diagnosis, in Ed's opinion, was that we would qualify for more services so that professionals could help our child more.
I said, "Well, isn't the point of First Steps to train parents so that we can figure out ways to teach our kids when the therapists aren't here?" He said it was partly, but that in his experience that parents don't have time or the expertise to worry about such things, and that we really needed to get more therapy time in order to make a difference. To which I said, "I am here, and I have the time and would love for you to show me things I can do when you're not here." But Ed had nothing to offer.
Other parents have laughed with me about the worthlessness of SLPs with autistic kids. I'd say there are really good ones out there who do more than blow bubbles and yell "Pop!" but they are few and far between. We picked a new one today, and we haven't met her yet, but I hope and pray that she is good enough to pick up on Lewis' interests or at least listen to us when we try and help. But I will also do my best not to 'yell' at her either. I certainly did not love Ed's practices but I did not mean to offend him or hurt his ego. Experience is best utilized when the one using it is willing to adapt to the situation at hand. Hopefully we'll all learn something from this somehow.
You may find it hard to believe that indeed we have had speech therapy consistently over the last 14 months. You'd think we'd be making more progress, right? Well, yesterday at the end our speech therapy session we were informed that it would be the last with this SLP. We had already started the process to find someone new, but this guy, we'll call him Ed, took it upon himself to voice his irritation with us, and me in particular, for questioning his techniques and "yelling" at him during last week's session.
He thought he was making great progress with Lewis, but that in 21 years of experience had never had a parent yell at him before. Let me explain the scenario: Last week, Ed was working with Lewis and getting him to identify body parts on a picture of a baby in a book he had. He was then trying to get Lewis to touch his own nose or whatever it was. He'd say, "Touch YOUR nose!" very loudly, but Lewis was focused on the book and seemed to not even register was Ed was saying. After this went on for several minutes (and we only have 45), I said rather loudly, "Try taking the book away so that he can't get to it and ask him again."
Ed seemed irritated by my suggestion, but he did it and it worked at least once (though he said yesterday it didn't work at all). But yesterday he said I yelled at him, and that we didn't seem to have confidence in what he was doing with our son. Well, gee, why would we not have confidence in his techniques?! He's only been getting paid $80/hr. to play with our child without figuring out a way to encourage him to produce a single new sound....or even to more commonly use the few he has. He finished his mini lecture with something about how after his 21 years of experience in working with kids that of course he is an expert on what kids like and need and that he knows what he is doing yadda yadda yadda.
Funny, because a month or so ago I took one of the many toys Ed brought....with Lewis squealing....and said, "Do you want it back? Say 'guh guh.'" Lewis responded, "Guh guh!" and Ed said, "Let me try that." He then repeated the exercise and Lewis vocalized again. When I, a lowly uneducated parent, have to show my SLP how to get my child to make sounds, it's disappointing to say the least. But there again is the factor in regard to autism--I know my own child. Autistic kids learn differently, and not just from normal kids, but from other autistic kids too. There are ways to teach them that tend to work, but a parent's knowledge should be used and abused to make the most of whatever techniques are tried.
One last irritation with Ed. A few months ago, when it was becoming obvious that Lewis had a bigger problem, I asked Ed about techniques with autistic kids, and if we got such a diagnosis would he do therapy differently. He said no, that he would do exactly the same thing, and almost belittled our desire for a diagnosis saying that parents just want something to hang their hat on for blame or whatever. The one bright spot in getting a diagnosis, in Ed's opinion, was that we would qualify for more services so that professionals could help our child more.
I said, "Well, isn't the point of First Steps to train parents so that we can figure out ways to teach our kids when the therapists aren't here?" He said it was partly, but that in his experience that parents don't have time or the expertise to worry about such things, and that we really needed to get more therapy time in order to make a difference. To which I said, "I am here, and I have the time and would love for you to show me things I can do when you're not here." But Ed had nothing to offer.
Other parents have laughed with me about the worthlessness of SLPs with autistic kids. I'd say there are really good ones out there who do more than blow bubbles and yell "Pop!" but they are few and far between. We picked a new one today, and we haven't met her yet, but I hope and pray that she is good enough to pick up on Lewis' interests or at least listen to us when we try and help. But I will also do my best not to 'yell' at her either. I certainly did not love Ed's practices but I did not mean to offend him or hurt his ego. Experience is best utilized when the one using it is willing to adapt to the situation at hand. Hopefully we'll all learn something from this somehow.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
spiritual development disorder
It has been a long time since my last post. We have been researching and waiting and last week we got our answer: Our son has autism. It has been a sad journey to this place of reality that our child has a real problem, and one that could be with him his entire life. We have so many questions--Will he ever talk? Will we ever be able to communicate with him on any kind of deep level? Will he ever understand God or spiritual things?
Through it all, I wish I could say that I've been holding steadfast to my faith and trusting God at every turn. I'm sorry to say that my response has been less than faithful. It is so easy to trust God with other people's problems, or even my own problems....but when it comes to my child, it is so much harder for some reason. I want him to have a life, and to be successful and accepted by his peers. It causes me much heartache to know that he is so different and will most likely endure much hardship in his future. It is more painful to watch than to endure yourself sometimes.
That being said, I have been reading so much about autism and the disorder that it is in communication and social settings. It frustrates me so much that Lewis can't understand when I'm trying to do something good for him (take him to the park etc.) and because initially he has to wait or we have to get in the car, he throws a fit and protests, unable to be quiet and listen to me explain what is going on. Sometimes I even shout "I'm trying to make you happy!"
Today I realized that I'm the same way with God. I was preparing for a Bible study the ladies in my church are doing about grace. One scripture reference was Philippians 3:8 where Paul has been bragging about his staunch righteous in keeping the law. He writes starting in vs. 7--
Now that is profound. But what struck me was that little part about the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ. Somewhere in my despair I forgot that Christ is a person. He is a relational being who gave up all so that we could know him. I've been shaking my fists in the air asking "why?" which is understandable, but I've been thinking about God like some passive monarch sitting in heaven saying, "Oh look, Shelley's been impatient. Let's give her a real challenge and let her build some character." And I'm embarrassed that I have given in to such lies.
So while Lewis has a social and communicative development disorder, I have a disorder of my own, and one that needs fast attention because I'm going to need him desperately in the coming years. Thank God that He is a gracious and forgiving HEALER. I know he can heal Lewis and I'm certain he can heal me. Will he heal Lewis? I don't know. I have to live with the reality that Lewis may never call me 'mama' or be able to pay his own bills. But either way, Jesus is a person who wants to walk with me through this and give me the strength to get through each day. And more than likely he has a plan that is going to make me better in the end.
It's hard to lay it down and believe that someone else has more at stake here. It's hard to believe Jesus loves Lewis more than me, but I know it's true. And there's nowhere else to go. Only Christ can bring healing, spiritually or otherwise.
Obviously there will be much more on this to come......but this is a start.
Through it all, I wish I could say that I've been holding steadfast to my faith and trusting God at every turn. I'm sorry to say that my response has been less than faithful. It is so easy to trust God with other people's problems, or even my own problems....but when it comes to my child, it is so much harder for some reason. I want him to have a life, and to be successful and accepted by his peers. It causes me much heartache to know that he is so different and will most likely endure much hardship in his future. It is more painful to watch than to endure yourself sometimes.
That being said, I have been reading so much about autism and the disorder that it is in communication and social settings. It frustrates me so much that Lewis can't understand when I'm trying to do something good for him (take him to the park etc.) and because initially he has to wait or we have to get in the car, he throws a fit and protests, unable to be quiet and listen to me explain what is going on. Sometimes I even shout "I'm trying to make you happy!"
Today I realized that I'm the same way with God. I was preparing for a Bible study the ladies in my church are doing about grace. One scripture reference was Philippians 3:8 where Paul has been bragging about his staunch righteous in keeping the law. He writes starting in vs. 7--
"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ....."Basically Paul is saying that we can try to have a righteousness on our own from our good works which will always fall short......OR we can set all of that aside and come to Christ through faith in his good work done on the cross and gain HIS righteousness.....merely by admitting we can't do it on our own and that we NEED him.
Now that is profound. But what struck me was that little part about the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ. Somewhere in my despair I forgot that Christ is a person. He is a relational being who gave up all so that we could know him. I've been shaking my fists in the air asking "why?" which is understandable, but I've been thinking about God like some passive monarch sitting in heaven saying, "Oh look, Shelley's been impatient. Let's give her a real challenge and let her build some character." And I'm embarrassed that I have given in to such lies.
So while Lewis has a social and communicative development disorder, I have a disorder of my own, and one that needs fast attention because I'm going to need him desperately in the coming years. Thank God that He is a gracious and forgiving HEALER. I know he can heal Lewis and I'm certain he can heal me. Will he heal Lewis? I don't know. I have to live with the reality that Lewis may never call me 'mama' or be able to pay his own bills. But either way, Jesus is a person who wants to walk with me through this and give me the strength to get through each day. And more than likely he has a plan that is going to make me better in the end.
It's hard to lay it down and believe that someone else has more at stake here. It's hard to believe Jesus loves Lewis more than me, but I know it's true. And there's nowhere else to go. Only Christ can bring healing, spiritually or otherwise.
Obviously there will be much more on this to come......but this is a start.
Monday, October 13, 2008
CHAT
We have recently 'celebrated' our year anniversary enrolled in our state's early intervention program called First Steps. Lewis is now 27 months old, and has made great strides in his gross motor development though he still could use improvement there. Our big concern continues to be his communication skills. He is currently functioning at a 0-10 month level, and honestly we are hearing a better variety of sounds coming from our 3 month old. After months of worry mixed with hope that all the well-meaning friends and family might be right that Lewis is really fine and would catch up because plenty of people don't talk until they are 3 or 4, right? We have heard every story of every late talker in a reasonable radius (and even Albert Einstein) who happened to start talking late, but when they did they talked in sentences clear as day. And we appreciate people trying to be kind and trying to encourage us, but unfortunately we are needing real answers to a very real problem.
So I've been doing a lot of research. I read a book recently called The Late Talker which outlined several possible reasons why children have speech delays. This book focused on apraxia, a condition where a person knows what he or she wants to say but can't get it out. It is a muscle condition where the brain is unable to translate a desired message into the physical response needed to produce words, sounds or motions. We related to some of the stuff in this book, but then moved on to Lynn Hamilton's Facing Autism.
The author's son has a lot of similarities to mine. But what I appreciate about this book is her clear outlining of diagnostic tools for autism. I am disappointed to say that neither of our therapists, our pediatrician or anyone else ever asked us anything related to these items when trying to figure out what is wrong with Lewis. We heard things like "Does he make eye contact?" or "Does he show affection?" which could relate to autistic tendencies, but are not central to the issue. We don't know for sure if our son is autistic, but because of these tools, we should have a diagnosis in the near future through an intense level evaluation in Louisville.
In the meantime, I wanted to document some of this stuff for our own use, but also to let others out there know what to really look for in your child or other kids you are around so that we can really be helpful to one another and not give false hope.
One very helpful tool is the CHAT (Checklist for Autism in Toddlers) that was developed by a group of British doctors and can be used on children as young as 18 months. The key points of the test are A-5, A-7, B-ii, B-iii, and B-iv (marked by * below). If a child fails ALL the key points, there is an extremely good probability of autism.
Another tool in Hamilton's book shows that impairments in social interaction and communication, and repetitive patterns of behavior are the hallmarks of autism in children. If you get online and look around you may find a million different lists of symptoms for this disorder and it can be really confusing. Hopefully these tools will help calm fears of some and drive others to get much needed help.
Ultimately I am learning that as a mom, I have the inside track on my own child. If my gut is telling me there is a problem, there probably is something to it. We all want to believe that doctors and therapists know more than we do, but in seeing a child for a few minutes every few months or even an hour a week, the view of these outsiders is extremely limited compared to what you and I see every day with our kids. Most of the time there is really nothing to be worried about. The problem is that issues will go undetected if we are not vigilant to seek out answers that may be hard to hear. The good news is that the sooner something is discovered the sooner the child can get the help he or she needs. If it turns out to be nothing, great! But we should not be satisfied until we know for sure.
So I've been doing a lot of research. I read a book recently called The Late Talker which outlined several possible reasons why children have speech delays. This book focused on apraxia, a condition where a person knows what he or she wants to say but can't get it out. It is a muscle condition where the brain is unable to translate a desired message into the physical response needed to produce words, sounds or motions. We related to some of the stuff in this book, but then moved on to Lynn Hamilton's Facing Autism.
The author's son has a lot of similarities to mine. But what I appreciate about this book is her clear outlining of diagnostic tools for autism. I am disappointed to say that neither of our therapists, our pediatrician or anyone else ever asked us anything related to these items when trying to figure out what is wrong with Lewis. We heard things like "Does he make eye contact?" or "Does he show affection?" which could relate to autistic tendencies, but are not central to the issue. We don't know for sure if our son is autistic, but because of these tools, we should have a diagnosis in the near future through an intense level evaluation in Louisville.
In the meantime, I wanted to document some of this stuff for our own use, but also to let others out there know what to really look for in your child or other kids you are around so that we can really be helpful to one another and not give false hope.
One very helpful tool is the CHAT (Checklist for Autism in Toddlers) that was developed by a group of British doctors and can be used on children as young as 18 months. The key points of the test are A-5, A-7, B-ii, B-iii, and B-iv (marked by * below). If a child fails ALL the key points, there is an extremely good probability of autism.
Section A: Ask parent
1. Does your child enjoy being swung, bounced on your knee, etc.?
2. Does your child take an interest in other children?
3. Does your child like climbing on things, such as stairs?
4. Does your child enjoy playing peek-a-boo or hide-and-seek?
5. Does your child ever PRETEND, for example, to make a cup of tea using a toy cup and teapot, or pretend other things?*
6. Does your child ever use his/her index finger to point, to ASK for something?
7. Does your child ever use his/her index finger to point, to indicate INTEREST in something?*
8. Can your child play properly with small toys (e.g. cars or blocks) without just mouthing, fiddling, or dropping them?
9. Does your child ever bring objects over to you (parent) to SHOW you something?
Section B: GP (Gen. Practitioner) or other health personnel's observation:
i. During the appointment, has the child made eye contact with you?
ii. Get the child's attention, then point across the room at an interesting object and say, "Oh look! There's a (name of toy)!" Watch the child's face. Does the child look across to see what you are pointing at?*
iii. Get the child's attention, then give the child a miniature toy cup and teapot and say, "Can you make a cup of tea?" Does the child pretend to pour out tea, drink it, etc.?*
iv. Say to the child, "Where's the light?" or "Show me the light." Does the child POINT with his/her index finger at the light?*
v. Can the child build a tower of blocks? (If so, how many?)
Another tool in Hamilton's book shows that impairments in social interaction and communication, and repetitive patterns of behavior are the hallmarks of autism in children. If you get online and look around you may find a million different lists of symptoms for this disorder and it can be really confusing. Hopefully these tools will help calm fears of some and drive others to get much needed help.
Ultimately I am learning that as a mom, I have the inside track on my own child. If my gut is telling me there is a problem, there probably is something to it. We all want to believe that doctors and therapists know more than we do, but in seeing a child for a few minutes every few months or even an hour a week, the view of these outsiders is extremely limited compared to what you and I see every day with our kids. Most of the time there is really nothing to be worried about. The problem is that issues will go undetected if we are not vigilant to seek out answers that may be hard to hear. The good news is that the sooner something is discovered the sooner the child can get the help he or she needs. If it turns out to be nothing, great! But we should not be satisfied until we know for sure.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
what i've learned, vol. 2--breastfeeding
Okay, so onto everyone's favorite topic! Breastfeeding is hard and doesn't come as naturally for everyone as you might think. After having a tough time with Lewis the first time around, I was relieved that things have been very smooth with Owen. Here are some suggestions:
--If your hospital will allow it, breastfeed immediately after the baby is born. Lewis was whisked away for bloodwork because he was at risk for Group B strep. It turned out he was sick, but Owen was equally at risk and the hospital staff still allowed me to hold him and nurse him right away. It got the ball rolling for us.
--Avoid bottles, pacifiers and nipple shields as long as possible to avoid the dreaded nipple confusion. Lewis was sent to the NICU right away and given pacifiers and bottles before I was ever able to nurse him. We had to use nipple shields to get him to latch on and it was always a fight to make him work for the milk that he knew he could have more easily (from a bottle). With Owen, we still used a nipple shield at first to help him latch on, but would remove it mid-feeding so that he would not become dependent on it. The Humana nurse I mentioned in the last post told me that nipple shields make it really hard for babies to get milk because they have to suck twice as hard. This can effect supply and make feedings take much longer.
With Owen, we stopped using them completely after a month or so and his feedings have gone from being 30-60 minutes to more like 20 minutes since then. We waited to give him any bottles of pumped milk until he was over 2 months old too. With just breastfeeding, he has gained much more weight than Lewis did initially and at 3 months is close to 15 lbs. The other benefit is that he is sleeping through the night (7-10 hrs).
We did introduce the pacifier after a week or so, and it has enhanced his ability to sleep well!
--Feed on demand. We let Owen decide when he is hungry and feed him whenever he needs it. He has been such a happy baby! After the first couple of weeks he basically adjusted to a 3 hour schedule, but occassionally has a day where he eats much more (every 2 hours). Lewis started out on a strict schedule at the NICU and it made life very hard on us when we got home. Every baby is different and may need to eat more or less often depending on size, growth spurts etc.
--If you have trouble, contact a lactation consultant or experienced friend for help. This time I still took advantage of LC's at the hospital and afterward to make sure we were on the right track. Most women should be able to breastfeed, but it may require the guidance of professionals!
--It's like riding a bike. If you've had a baby before and nursed successfully, it should go even better the 2nd time around. I have been much more confident with Owen because it's not something totally foreign like that first experience. It's different to go from nursing a 16 month old to a newborn for a lot of reasons. But it all comes back to you!
--If your hospital will allow it, breastfeed immediately after the baby is born. Lewis was whisked away for bloodwork because he was at risk for Group B strep. It turned out he was sick, but Owen was equally at risk and the hospital staff still allowed me to hold him and nurse him right away. It got the ball rolling for us.
--Avoid bottles, pacifiers and nipple shields as long as possible to avoid the dreaded nipple confusion. Lewis was sent to the NICU right away and given pacifiers and bottles before I was ever able to nurse him. We had to use nipple shields to get him to latch on and it was always a fight to make him work for the milk that he knew he could have more easily (from a bottle). With Owen, we still used a nipple shield at first to help him latch on, but would remove it mid-feeding so that he would not become dependent on it. The Humana nurse I mentioned in the last post told me that nipple shields make it really hard for babies to get milk because they have to suck twice as hard. This can effect supply and make feedings take much longer.
With Owen, we stopped using them completely after a month or so and his feedings have gone from being 30-60 minutes to more like 20 minutes since then. We waited to give him any bottles of pumped milk until he was over 2 months old too. With just breastfeeding, he has gained much more weight than Lewis did initially and at 3 months is close to 15 lbs. The other benefit is that he is sleeping through the night (7-10 hrs).
We did introduce the pacifier after a week or so, and it has enhanced his ability to sleep well!
--Feed on demand. We let Owen decide when he is hungry and feed him whenever he needs it. He has been such a happy baby! After the first couple of weeks he basically adjusted to a 3 hour schedule, but occassionally has a day where he eats much more (every 2 hours). Lewis started out on a strict schedule at the NICU and it made life very hard on us when we got home. Every baby is different and may need to eat more or less often depending on size, growth spurts etc.
--If you have trouble, contact a lactation consultant or experienced friend for help. This time I still took advantage of LC's at the hospital and afterward to make sure we were on the right track. Most women should be able to breastfeed, but it may require the guidance of professionals!
--It's like riding a bike. If you've had a baby before and nursed successfully, it should go even better the 2nd time around. I have been much more confident with Owen because it's not something totally foreign like that first experience. It's different to go from nursing a 16 month old to a newborn for a lot of reasons. But it all comes back to you!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
what i've learned, vol. 1--swaddling
Okay, so it has been a long time since my last post. I'm starting to wake up now that our second baby is sleeping through the night. We've been learning a lot as parents of two kids, and so I'm hoping to chronicle some of that stuff on the blog.
The first thing is swaddling. With our first baby, Justin (my husband), swaddled in rare form at key moments to calm Lewis down. But this time, I was up in the middle of the night often trying to get Owen back to sleep and having trouble. Owen has been a relatively easy baby with only a few really fussy instances. Still, in the middle of the night when you're exhausted and in a daze, you just want that baby to get back to sleep ASAP.
We were enrolled in a program through our insurance company that got a nurse involved in our prenatal care. Basically she called about once a month to check on my progress and answer questions. It was actually really nice because she could answer questions I was embarrassed to ask anyone else as a second time mom. This nurse sent me the DVD called THE HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK, by Dr. Harvey Karp, which turned out to be very helpful in regards to the whole sleep issue. Dr. Karp recommends the swaddling thing as part of his "4th trimester" theory. You want to recreate the womblike atmosphere, and let's face it--babies are pretty snuggly trapped at the end of pregnancy.
We found that the swaddling trick really worked for Owen. That coupled with background noise provided by a fan, which Karp also recommends. Owen has been sleeping through the night for a couple of weeks now. He's going 8-10 hours or more now at 12 weeks, and it is fantastic! We still swaddle Owen at night with one arm out. He falls right to sleep once he's in position. It's wonderful. Lewis started sleeping through the night at about 13 weeks, and Owen beat him by about 3 weeks using Dr. Karp's recommendations. Just something to think about for those of you with newborns or pregnant!
More to come......
The first thing is swaddling. With our first baby, Justin (my husband), swaddled in rare form at key moments to calm Lewis down. But this time, I was up in the middle of the night often trying to get Owen back to sleep and having trouble. Owen has been a relatively easy baby with only a few really fussy instances. Still, in the middle of the night when you're exhausted and in a daze, you just want that baby to get back to sleep ASAP.
We were enrolled in a program through our insurance company that got a nurse involved in our prenatal care. Basically she called about once a month to check on my progress and answer questions. It was actually really nice because she could answer questions I was embarrassed to ask anyone else as a second time mom. This nurse sent me the DVD called THE HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK, by Dr. Harvey Karp, which turned out to be very helpful in regards to the whole sleep issue. Dr. Karp recommends the swaddling thing as part of his "4th trimester" theory. You want to recreate the womblike atmosphere, and let's face it--babies are pretty snuggly trapped at the end of pregnancy.
We found that the swaddling trick really worked for Owen. That coupled with background noise provided by a fan, which Karp also recommends. Owen has been sleeping through the night for a couple of weeks now. He's going 8-10 hours or more now at 12 weeks, and it is fantastic! We still swaddle Owen at night with one arm out. He falls right to sleep once he's in position. It's wonderful. Lewis started sleeping through the night at about 13 weeks, and Owen beat him by about 3 weeks using Dr. Karp's recommendations. Just something to think about for those of you with newborns or pregnant!
More to come......
Saturday, August 2, 2008
free caffeine
Psalm 127:2-- 2-- In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves.
For some reason I have found Mountain Dew left in shopping carts twice recently. The first time was at Target a couple of weeks ago. I found a 12-pack of the caffeinated beverage on my way in. Seeing that it had obviously been paid for, and being extremely tired from getting up to feed Owen every night, I claimed it for my own. Then this week after doing my regular grocery shopping at Kroger, I returned my cart and found a 20 oz. bottle of Mountain Dew Voltage in another basket.
After the first incident, I joked with a friend that God knows how tired I am and decided to bless me with some caffeine. After the 2nd, I am really believing it!
Now bear in mind that I am not a caffein-e-holic. My husband and I own a coffee shop, but I am still careful about how much I consume. Many pregnant and nursing women take a complete hiatus from caffeine. I am not such a person! I cannot drink hot coffee in early pregnancy. It absolutely turns my stomach. The occasional iced latte, I can handle for some reason. But by the halfway point, I have been able to get back into my morning routine and have a cup of coffee in the morning. On occasion I might have some sort of cola-type beverage or iced tea in the afternoon (Sonic's are the best, esp. during happy hour!). But by dinner I am decaf all the way.
I had forgotten how exhausting newborns can be, but luckily the caffeine doesn't seem to stop him from napping during the day. It's getting Owen to sleep initially and getting him back to sleep after the 6 a.m. mark that has been so difficult. Don't get me wrong......I love watching old episodes of the X Files or Wings in the middle of the night, but I love sleep more!
There's this verse in the Psalms about the Lord granting sleep to those he loves. I find myself begging for God to be true to that verse daily. Somehow I make it through each day, but there are moments when it seems impossible. Surely more sleep is just over the horizon.....and cooler weather. Until then, I've got my Mountain Dew to give me a boost. :)
Saturday, July 19, 2008
birth story
It's been a month since my last post, and oddly, our sweet baby Owen is now 4 weeks old! My doctor kept saying that if I delivered at 38 weeks with the first one, that likely the second would come at a similar time. He was right! This labor was much better than the first....and more normal, just like I had prayed for.
I woke up on Saturday morning around 8:30 a.m. which was generally when Lewis wakes up. I had breakfast and everything seemed normal. Around 9, I passed some blood during a routine potty break. It occurred to me that this could be the beginning of labor, OR it could be the sign of something bad like my placenta pulling away from the uterine wall or something awful like that.
At 9:15 or so, I started noticing contractions. These were slightly more uncomfortable than the Braxton Hicks contractions I'd been having for months. After having several, I jumped in the bathtub and then called my doctor to get his opinion. Since my first labor was all back pain, I had no idea how long this "early" labor might last. But knowing my history with Group B strep, Dr. Gass sent me on to the hospital to have the nurses take a look. My friend, Mandy, came to sit with Lewis so that Justin and I could head out. We got to the hospital at 11 a.m.
My doctor had called and warned the nurses we were coming, so they quickly took care of us and after determining I was in "early" labor, they called the pharmacy to get my antibiotics ordered. The drugs did not arrive until 12:30 p.m., and so I was prepared to labor all afternoon to get six hours of them in my system. Thankfully we didn't have to wait that long. After several innings of Reds baseball, my contractions were getting harder, and I was getting very dilated. When I arrived I was around 5 cm, and remembering to breathe deeply helped me to keep things moving along!
I was nervous about being in a different hospital to deliver this baby, but the nurse I had was sooo helpful and let me get up and move around even with my IV.
With my first labor, I had a half dose of IV narcotics to get me through the whole experience of giving birth. But when the contractions hit, they were just as painful. So this time I figured that I could make it without anything, and I did, but at their peak I could tell a difference between the contractions with drugs and the ones without! Mainly, there wasn't much of a break between them because the pain lingered for me. With the Nubain I could almost sleep in between contractions. Thankfully, once it got really bad I had less than an hour to endure the bad stuff. On the plus side, I was VERY MOTIVATED to push that baby out. Without pain meds I could feel everything as the baby made his way to freedom. The drugs definitely take the edge off, but there are positives and negatives either way.
Just before 3 p.m. I was feeling pressure to push, and so I never got the next round of antibiotics (they had told me I would get more at 4:30 p.m.). In the end I was so focused on pushing that they had to tell me to open my eyes when the baby came out. My doctor went on and on about how pink and healthy Owen looked.
I felt great after delivery, and despite the fact that Owen was at risk for contracting GBS, they let me nurse right away and hold him for the first hour. He was pretty slimy! I didn't get to do that with Lewis, so it felt so nice to be able to bond immediately after all that hard work. The nurses took him to run their tests, and he turned out to be perfectly healthy with no apparent problems. That was a huge relief!
Giving birth is so empowering. You feel like you could conquer the world. I immediately felt the relief of not being pregnant anymore. It had become exhausting for me, and I can't imagine going a full 40 weeks after having both of mine early.
Since then, we have been adjusting to life with two kids. The baby stuff has been easier overall. Breastfeeding has been much better with Owen. I definitely feel much more confident in my ability in that area. The first time around you just feel so clueless, but Owen and I have had a smooth transition there (though the first few days were still tough). The hard part is just being able to entertain another child while nursing. So far so good.
Owen sleeps as well as Lewis, but we are more tired because we have to get up in the morning and we can't sleep when the baby does unless it is during Lewis' naptime. That part has been much harder. But otherwise we are back into the swing of life already whereas with Lewis I felt knocked out for a couple of months almost.
Hopefully I'll get caught up on sleep soon so and inspired to share more about life with two kids.
Here's picture. He was born 6/21/08 at 3:41 p.m. He was 7 lbs. 12 oz. and 20 1/2 inches long.
I woke up on Saturday morning around 8:30 a.m. which was generally when Lewis wakes up. I had breakfast and everything seemed normal. Around 9, I passed some blood during a routine potty break. It occurred to me that this could be the beginning of labor, OR it could be the sign of something bad like my placenta pulling away from the uterine wall or something awful like that.
At 9:15 or so, I started noticing contractions. These were slightly more uncomfortable than the Braxton Hicks contractions I'd been having for months. After having several, I jumped in the bathtub and then called my doctor to get his opinion. Since my first labor was all back pain, I had no idea how long this "early" labor might last. But knowing my history with Group B strep, Dr. Gass sent me on to the hospital to have the nurses take a look. My friend, Mandy, came to sit with Lewis so that Justin and I could head out. We got to the hospital at 11 a.m.
My doctor had called and warned the nurses we were coming, so they quickly took care of us and after determining I was in "early" labor, they called the pharmacy to get my antibiotics ordered. The drugs did not arrive until 12:30 p.m., and so I was prepared to labor all afternoon to get six hours of them in my system. Thankfully we didn't have to wait that long. After several innings of Reds baseball, my contractions were getting harder, and I was getting very dilated. When I arrived I was around 5 cm, and remembering to breathe deeply helped me to keep things moving along!
I was nervous about being in a different hospital to deliver this baby, but the nurse I had was sooo helpful and let me get up and move around even with my IV.
With my first labor, I had a half dose of IV narcotics to get me through the whole experience of giving birth. But when the contractions hit, they were just as painful. So this time I figured that I could make it without anything, and I did, but at their peak I could tell a difference between the contractions with drugs and the ones without! Mainly, there wasn't much of a break between them because the pain lingered for me. With the Nubain I could almost sleep in between contractions. Thankfully, once it got really bad I had less than an hour to endure the bad stuff. On the plus side, I was VERY MOTIVATED to push that baby out. Without pain meds I could feel everything as the baby made his way to freedom. The drugs definitely take the edge off, but there are positives and negatives either way.
Just before 3 p.m. I was feeling pressure to push, and so I never got the next round of antibiotics (they had told me I would get more at 4:30 p.m.). In the end I was so focused on pushing that they had to tell me to open my eyes when the baby came out. My doctor went on and on about how pink and healthy Owen looked.
I felt great after delivery, and despite the fact that Owen was at risk for contracting GBS, they let me nurse right away and hold him for the first hour. He was pretty slimy! I didn't get to do that with Lewis, so it felt so nice to be able to bond immediately after all that hard work. The nurses took him to run their tests, and he turned out to be perfectly healthy with no apparent problems. That was a huge relief!
Giving birth is so empowering. You feel like you could conquer the world. I immediately felt the relief of not being pregnant anymore. It had become exhausting for me, and I can't imagine going a full 40 weeks after having both of mine early.
Since then, we have been adjusting to life with two kids. The baby stuff has been easier overall. Breastfeeding has been much better with Owen. I definitely feel much more confident in my ability in that area. The first time around you just feel so clueless, but Owen and I have had a smooth transition there (though the first few days were still tough). The hard part is just being able to entertain another child while nursing. So far so good.
Owen sleeps as well as Lewis, but we are more tired because we have to get up in the morning and we can't sleep when the baby does unless it is during Lewis' naptime. That part has been much harder. But otherwise we are back into the swing of life already whereas with Lewis I felt knocked out for a couple of months almost.
Hopefully I'll get caught up on sleep soon so and inspired to share more about life with two kids.
Here's picture. He was born 6/21/08 at 3:41 p.m. He was 7 lbs. 12 oz. and 20 1/2 inches long.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
impending birth
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to this life?"--Matthew 6:25-27
It's been over a month since I posted anything, and probably longer than that with anything of any depth. I'm close to being 38 weeks pregnant and have been having all kinds of stressful thoughts creeping in all the time. Lewis came at 38 weeks so it seems like it could be any time now, but I even doubt my ability to know the signs of labor.
Adding to my stress lately has been another flea infestation. We had one last year that was definitely worse. Still, the idea of bringing a newborn home to get bitten by fleas is not a happy one! We got rid of our cat, who was actually helping the situation with her Frontline treatment, but I do feel better that there is not cat fur everywhere. All in all, it feels like we are winning the war now........but it all started May 1st, so it's been a struggle that has robbed me of sleep and given me that itchy feeling all over that is quite frustrating.
Another area of fear involves caring for two kids who can't speak! Lewis is not making much progress in communication. He has learned one new sign in the last 3 months or so. The state has denied our request for additional speech therapy (and oddly, recommended we lessen the amount to twice a month instead of once a week......I guess because progress is not being made?). Financially things are always tight for us too, but knowing another child is coming into our lives has added to the stress of that also, causing more than a few arguments with my dear husband.
It seems like lately as I look at things it has been easier to be frustrated or spin my wheels trying to do what I can to make things better instead of really seeking the Lord and his plan in all this. It's dawned on me that the fleas are probably more a wake-up call meant to push me over the edge in my dependence on the Lord. I feel like I've been carrying this huge burden and God is whispering, "Hello!!! I'm right here, hand all that over and let me carry it."
Sadly, much of my spiritual enrichment lately has come from Streams in the Desert, the little devotional book put together by L.B. Cowman. Not that it is bad....I just long for time and energy to dig deeper. This week, many of the readings have been about enduring through trials and seeing God's blessings through them.
"You are suffering through these tests, but know that God sees sweet flowers of faith springing up in your life beneath these very trials. You try to escape the pain, yet God sees tender compassion for other sufferers finding birth in your soul. Your heart winces at the pain of heavy grief, but God sees the sorrow deepening and enriching your life.
No, my friend, it is not raining afflictions on you. It is raining tenderness, love, compassion, patience, and a thousand other flowers and fruits of the blessed Holy Spirit. And they are bringing to your life spiritual enrichment that all the prosperity and ease of this world could never produce in your innermost being."
I know everyone is dealing with something out there! I'm really trying to rest and trust God's holy character.......that his love for me is constant and unchanging, and he is accomplishing his purposes in my life through all this.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Top Names for 2007
According to the Social Security Administration, here are the top names from last year.
| Rank | Male name | Female name | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Jacob | Emily | ||
| 2 | Michael | Isabella | ||
| 3 | Ethan | Emma | ||
| 4 | Joshua | Ava | ||
| 5 | Daniel | Madison | ||
| 6 | Christopher | Sophia | ||
| 7 | Anthony | Olivia | ||
| 8 | William | Abigail | ||
| 9 | Matthew | Hannah | ||
| 10 | Andrew | Elizabeth | ||
| Note: Rank 1 is the most popular, rank 2 is the next most popular, and so forth. | ||||
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
single parenting--sort of
My husband, Justin, is traveling with his band this week and I have had a taste of single parenting. Granted, this is nothing compared to those who have to work and support their families while being the sole parental influence. I cannot begin to imagine how tough that would be. Still, I've been amazed at how well things are going.
Lately, as I become more and more pregnant (or just larger), I've been so tired and when the afternoon hits it feels like I might fall apart. But usually around that time, Justin comes home and helps relieve the weight of parenting. With Justin out of the picture, we have planned a lot of activities to keep us around other people which has been a huge help. It feels like somehow Lewis senses that things are more laid back right now. I'm not sure whether it is just God answering my prayers that he will be a cooperative child, or possibly Lewis is actually maturing. But he has been a true delight this week. I have been expecting him to fight me at mealtimes and other transitional times when he tends to get upset, but really he has been more agreeable than ever.
Maybe I'm finally getting the hang of parenting.......or just knowing that there's no one else to pick up the slack gives me a different tone that Lewis does not want to cross. Either way, I hope some of this behavior sticks around.
Lately, as I become more and more pregnant (or just larger), I've been so tired and when the afternoon hits it feels like I might fall apart. But usually around that time, Justin comes home and helps relieve the weight of parenting. With Justin out of the picture, we have planned a lot of activities to keep us around other people which has been a huge help. It feels like somehow Lewis senses that things are more laid back right now. I'm not sure whether it is just God answering my prayers that he will be a cooperative child, or possibly Lewis is actually maturing. But he has been a true delight this week. I have been expecting him to fight me at mealtimes and other transitional times when he tends to get upset, but really he has been more agreeable than ever.
Maybe I'm finally getting the hang of parenting.......or just knowing that there's no one else to pick up the slack gives me a different tone that Lewis does not want to cross. Either way, I hope some of this behavior sticks around.
Friday, April 11, 2008
God's promise to abraham & sarah
"Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him." --Genesis 21:1-2
Lewis got a children's Bible for Easter and we have been reading it every morning. Not that he is very interested or can understand the stories just yet (it's really for kids 4 years +), but I figure it's a good habit to get into. Oddly enough, it has been great for me because as we read, I think about the stories and go back to the actual scripture to get the whole picture.
The story of Abraham and Sarah has had me thinking a great deal about God's faithfulness, and about our desire to help God out when we think he needs it. If you go back to Genesis 15 and 16, God makes his promise that Abraham's offspring will be numerous and eventually bring about the Savior who turns out to be Jesus.
In Sarah's mind this was impossible. Her alternative was to give her maidservant to Abraham and "build a family through her." Abraham agrees and immediately there is hostility between the two women as a result. This whole thing is so similar to what we do all the time. We know God loves us and will take care of us, but often we don't see how he is going to make our lives come together and work. Women are great at coming up with a good plan to "solve" things. Unfortunately these plans often make things worse.
The beauty in this story is that God remains faithful to Sarah, and carries out his plan as promised--despite her lack of faith. Sarah is the one to become pregnant and give birth to Isaac in her very old age. God blesses Ishmael as well, but it is a different type of blessing. Sarah's line is the one that leads to Christ.
The women's Bible study I attend is studying Galatians. We have been discussing at length our freedom in Christ and how we tend to put ourselves back under the law instead of trusting in God's grace alone for our salvation and daily living. Though it is a gift, we try to earn our salvation and God's blessing by doing all kinds of 'good' works.
Galatians 4 sums up Sarah's story this way, "Tell me, you who want to be under the law, are you not aware of what the law says? For it is written that Abraham had two sons, one by the slave woman and the other by the free woman. His son by the slave woman was born in the ordinary way; but his son by the free woman was born as the result of a promise...........Now you, brothers, like Isaac, are children of promise. At that time the son born in the ordinary way persecuted the son born by the power of the Spirit. It is the same now. But what does the Scripture say? 'Get rid of the slave woman and her son, for the slave woman's son will never share in the inheritance with the free woman's son.' Therefore, brothers, we are not children of the slave woman, but of the free woman."
It is wonderful to live in that freedom. I pray for my faith to be strengthened by abiding in Christ so that I can trust God to fulfill his will for me without worrying about things or trying to fix them on my own. God doesn't need my help after all! God does ask for me to act in obedience and to do good, but my faithfulness thankfully does not determine his next move. What a joy to know and rest in this truth!
The story of Abraham and Sarah has had me thinking a great deal about God's faithfulness, and about our desire to help God out when we think he needs it. If you go back to Genesis 15 and 16, God makes his promise that Abraham's offspring will be numerous and eventually bring about the Savior who turns out to be Jesus.
In Sarah's mind this was impossible. Her alternative was to give her maidservant to Abraham and "build a family through her." Abraham agrees and immediately there is hostility between the two women as a result. This whole thing is so similar to what we do all the time. We know God loves us and will take care of us, but often we don't see how he is going to make our lives come together and work. Women are great at coming up with a good plan to "solve" things. Unfortunately these plans often make things worse.
The beauty in this story is that God remains faithful to Sarah, and carries out his plan as promised--despite her lack of faith. Sarah is the one to become pregnant and give birth to Isaac in her very old age. God blesses Ishmael as well, but it is a different type of blessing. Sarah's line is the one that leads to Christ.
The women's Bible study I attend is studying Galatians. We have been discussing at length our freedom in Christ and how we tend to put ourselves back under the law instead of trusting in God's grace alone for our salvation and daily living. Though it is a gift, we try to earn our salvation and God's blessing by doing all kinds of 'good' works.
Galatians 4 sums up Sarah's story this way, "Tell me, you who want to be under the law, are you not aware of what the law says? For it is written that Abraham had two sons, one by the slave woman and the other by the free woman. His son by the slave woman was born in the ordinary way; but his son by the free woman was born as the result of a promise...........Now you, brothers, like Isaac, are children of promise. At that time the son born in the ordinary way persecuted the son born by the power of the Spirit. It is the same now. But what does the Scripture say? 'Get rid of the slave woman and her son, for the slave woman's son will never share in the inheritance with the free woman's son.' Therefore, brothers, we are not children of the slave woman, but of the free woman."
It is wonderful to live in that freedom. I pray for my faith to be strengthened by abiding in Christ so that I can trust God to fulfill his will for me without worrying about things or trying to fix them on my own. God doesn't need my help after all! God does ask for me to act in obedience and to do good, but my faithfulness thankfully does not determine his next move. What a joy to know and rest in this truth!
Monday, March 31, 2008
my cool doctor and group b strep
The time has gotten away from me. My last doctor's appointment was 2 weeks ago, and I meant to post right after, but somehow it hasn't happened. It was a great appointment and I'm hoping this post can be somewhat informative because I've been doing a lot of research that hopefully will help my next delivery go better, and maybe help out others out there who carry the Group B Strep.
For those of you who need a refresher......my last labor was anything but normal, mostly consisting of back pain. And while I knew that I was a GBS carrier, I had always heard that by getting antibiotics during delivery that everything would be fine. Well, Lewis caught it coming through the birth canal which led to his own blood infection and a 10-day stay in the NICU. It mainly caused his heart rate to fluctuate randomly, and his breathing to be hard and difficult. It was a rough start to his life, and our parenthood, which we do not want to re-live.
With this in mind, I've been doing research about GBS and had a great chat with my doctor (Joseph Gass) at my last appointment. First of all, I have to give a shout out to Nicole Martin for recommending him. He has been a refreshing change from my last OB, who I was honestly afraid to talk to about a number of things. Dr. Gass treats me like a person, and has made it clear that how I choose to deliver is fine with him. If I want pain meds, great. If not, (which is my goal) fine too.
He had said that because I had passed GBS on to Lewis that we would go into this next delivery assuming that I am still a carrier and take every precaution to keep the new baby safe. The first time around, my OB nurse said that they like to get two rounds of antibiotics through before delivery. Because I was only at the hospital about 6 hours before Lewis arrived (and they didn't check me for quite a while because they were delivering other babies and didn't think I was in labor), I did not get that much before delivery. However, the studies I looked at show that it's not so much the amount of antibiotics the mother receives, but instead the time over which she receives it that makes a difference. Four hours of receiving antibiotics seemed to be a minimum amount of time that kept moms from passing on GBS.
In talking to my doctor, he said he really recommends six hours of antibiotics to insure safety for the baby. Because my last labor was so weird, we agreed that it would be okay for me to play it safe and come on in when I suspect I'm in labor and get checked out to make sure I'm not rushed like the last time around. Since I only live 5 minutes from the hospital, it will not be a huge deal if I get sent home.
The other random thing I found in my research was a connection between developmental delays and babies who have contracted GBS. Apparently there is a high statistic of those babies who have been infected to have delays, which may explain some of Lewis' issues. My doctor seemed to think I might be right about that too. He shared an example of a similar situation with me that would support my hypothesis.
All of this to say...........it is sooooooooooooo wonderful to have a doctor who listens and cares and shows his support of me and this baby I'm carrying. It gives me much hope that things will go better this time around. If you are pregnant and test positive for Group B Strep, keep these things in mind. Doctors and nurses are wonderful, but they are preoccupied with a million things, and you are the one who needs to ask questions and push for IV's to get started in case they are dragging their feet. Don't learn the hard way!!
The other thing is to find a doctor or midwife who cares. If you can't talk freely about the concerns you have it might mean another doctor would be a better choice. It's so much easier the second time around because you know more what you want. I really feel like God led me here and it's a good place to be. :)
For those of you who need a refresher......my last labor was anything but normal, mostly consisting of back pain. And while I knew that I was a GBS carrier, I had always heard that by getting antibiotics during delivery that everything would be fine. Well, Lewis caught it coming through the birth canal which led to his own blood infection and a 10-day stay in the NICU. It mainly caused his heart rate to fluctuate randomly, and his breathing to be hard and difficult. It was a rough start to his life, and our parenthood, which we do not want to re-live.
With this in mind, I've been doing research about GBS and had a great chat with my doctor (Joseph Gass) at my last appointment. First of all, I have to give a shout out to Nicole Martin for recommending him. He has been a refreshing change from my last OB, who I was honestly afraid to talk to about a number of things. Dr. Gass treats me like a person, and has made it clear that how I choose to deliver is fine with him. If I want pain meds, great. If not, (which is my goal) fine too.
He had said that because I had passed GBS on to Lewis that we would go into this next delivery assuming that I am still a carrier and take every precaution to keep the new baby safe. The first time around, my OB nurse said that they like to get two rounds of antibiotics through before delivery. Because I was only at the hospital about 6 hours before Lewis arrived (and they didn't check me for quite a while because they were delivering other babies and didn't think I was in labor), I did not get that much before delivery. However, the studies I looked at show that it's not so much the amount of antibiotics the mother receives, but instead the time over which she receives it that makes a difference. Four hours of receiving antibiotics seemed to be a minimum amount of time that kept moms from passing on GBS.
In talking to my doctor, he said he really recommends six hours of antibiotics to insure safety for the baby. Because my last labor was so weird, we agreed that it would be okay for me to play it safe and come on in when I suspect I'm in labor and get checked out to make sure I'm not rushed like the last time around. Since I only live 5 minutes from the hospital, it will not be a huge deal if I get sent home.
The other random thing I found in my research was a connection between developmental delays and babies who have contracted GBS. Apparently there is a high statistic of those babies who have been infected to have delays, which may explain some of Lewis' issues. My doctor seemed to think I might be right about that too. He shared an example of a similar situation with me that would support my hypothesis.
All of this to say...........it is sooooooooooooo wonderful to have a doctor who listens and cares and shows his support of me and this baby I'm carrying. It gives me much hope that things will go better this time around. If you are pregnant and test positive for Group B Strep, keep these things in mind. Doctors and nurses are wonderful, but they are preoccupied with a million things, and you are the one who needs to ask questions and push for IV's to get started in case they are dragging their feet. Don't learn the hard way!!
The other thing is to find a doctor or midwife who cares. If you can't talk freely about the concerns you have it might mean another doctor would be a better choice. It's so much easier the second time around because you know more what you want. I really feel like God led me here and it's a good place to be. :)
Monday, March 10, 2008
nesting
Well......it happened this week, or maybe last. I dove into nesting mode. I've been digging through boxes of old stuff, taking things to the Goodwill and throwing tons of junk away. Two things are my big hang ups: photos and letters.
For some reason, I have a collection of photos that are probably copies of pictures in albums, but they're all in boxes here or there. When I start looking through them I get all sentimental and decide I can't part with them quite yet. But when I stop to think about it, it would not be devastating if a fire came and swept it all away......and would probably make the process easier! But it remains a struggle.
The letters have been funny and encouraging to read. Since email did not become prevalent until my junior year of college, I have so many letters from various friends, my sisters, and a few from my mom (those I'm keeping!), but most are getting tossed.
Jumping into nostalgia mode is so weird. I was going through all this stuff today during Lewis' nap. When he woke up, Justin got him and brought him into our office (future home of baby #2) and suddenly all those old relationships seemed trivial. Don't get me wrong.....I learned a lot from so many of these friends, and am happy to still be in touch with many of them. But seeing Lewis and his little life, as frustrating as he can be at times, reminded me that he's worth so much more than all those other friendships combined. What a blessing to be a mom and to have the (mostly!) innocent love of a toddler.
Leave your nesting tips, please!
For some reason, I have a collection of photos that are probably copies of pictures in albums, but they're all in boxes here or there. When I start looking through them I get all sentimental and decide I can't part with them quite yet. But when I stop to think about it, it would not be devastating if a fire came and swept it all away......and would probably make the process easier! But it remains a struggle.
The letters have been funny and encouraging to read. Since email did not become prevalent until my junior year of college, I have so many letters from various friends, my sisters, and a few from my mom (those I'm keeping!), but most are getting tossed.
Jumping into nostalgia mode is so weird. I was going through all this stuff today during Lewis' nap. When he woke up, Justin got him and brought him into our office (future home of baby #2) and suddenly all those old relationships seemed trivial. Don't get me wrong.....I learned a lot from so many of these friends, and am happy to still be in touch with many of them. But seeing Lewis and his little life, as frustrating as he can be at times, reminded me that he's worth so much more than all those other friendships combined. What a blessing to be a mom and to have the (mostly!) innocent love of a toddler.
Leave your nesting tips, please!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
connecting with other moms
The other day I received an email from Teresa Bell Kindred, a local writer, author and speaker. She came across this blog while preparing for an upcoming segment on WBKO's Midday Live broadcast called "Mom Moments." Teresa appears every other Wednesday on Midday Live, and will be on tomorrow (March 5th) to give ideas and advice about connecting with other moms around you.
This blog is a tool that allows us to connect with other moms anywhere they are from the comfort of our own homes. But in conjunction with Teresa's segment, I would love to hear your feedback on this topic. How have you been able to connect with other moms in your area for support, playgroups or just conversation? Has it been easy or difficult? Is face to face contact important to you? Why?
Face to face contact with other moms is very important to me, personally. Just after Lewis was born, a friend from church invited me to join a group of moms for prayer and support. All of us had given birth within a six month period, so we were dealing with many of the same issues. This group has continued to meet for more than 18 months now, and has been a huge source of strength and encouragement for me. There are other moms I see occasionally for play dates too, and I make it a priority to get out and expose Lewis to other kids of varying ages. I have learned so much from being around other moms and seeing how they interact with, discipline and teach their children.
Anyone in the Bowling Green area interested in joining a playgroup, please leave a comment or email me directly at shelleygwen@gmail.com with your general location, number of children and their ages, and available meeting times. If there is enough interest, we will do our best to put some groups together.
If an online video of Teresa's segment becomes available, we will post that here as well. Thanks for your feedback, as always!
This blog is a tool that allows us to connect with other moms anywhere they are from the comfort of our own homes. But in conjunction with Teresa's segment, I would love to hear your feedback on this topic. How have you been able to connect with other moms in your area for support, playgroups or just conversation? Has it been easy or difficult? Is face to face contact important to you? Why?
Face to face contact with other moms is very important to me, personally. Just after Lewis was born, a friend from church invited me to join a group of moms for prayer and support. All of us had given birth within a six month period, so we were dealing with many of the same issues. This group has continued to meet for more than 18 months now, and has been a huge source of strength and encouragement for me. There are other moms I see occasionally for play dates too, and I make it a priority to get out and expose Lewis to other kids of varying ages. I have learned so much from being around other moms and seeing how they interact with, discipline and teach their children.
Anyone in the Bowling Green area interested in joining a playgroup, please leave a comment or email me directly at shelleygwen@gmail.com with your general location, number of children and their ages, and available meeting times. If there is enough interest, we will do our best to put some groups together.
If an online video of Teresa's segment becomes available, we will post that here as well. Thanks for your feedback, as always!
Friday, February 22, 2008
WKU Assessment Clinic
To those of you in Bowling Green, or close by--WKU is offering an Assessment Clinic to assess kids from birth to age 4 on April 5th and April 12th. It's free and gives students in the Early Childhood Education dept. a chance to practice what they've learned. The assessment provides information regarding progress in adaptive, communication, motor, personal-social, and cognitive skill areas. They will also give suggestions for individualized activities that might help your child personally.
If you've ever wondered how your child is doing developmentally, this would be a great chance to get some info and advice for free. Anyone interested should email Penny Adams at penny.adams@wku.edu or Susan Miller at susan.miller@wku.edu .
If you've ever wondered how your child is doing developmentally, this would be a great chance to get some info and advice for free. Anyone interested should email Penny Adams at penny.adams@wku.edu or Susan Miller at susan.miller@wku.edu .
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
friendship
My local group of moms that I hang out with had an interesting discussion about friendships the other day (a subtopic of a marriage discussion). It seems like as you add children to your home that marriage can become more challenging and certainly a lot more work. We're all tired and trying to communicate deeply takes effort.
This seems to trickle over into our friendships with women too. We all know we need each other.....we need fellowship and the wise counsel of others going through similar things. Still, it is hard sometimes to lower our personal fences and share our problems or other deep things in our lives.
I've been reading John & Stasi Eldgredge's book "Captivating" which often puts me a very melancholy mood as I consider what it means to be a woman. If you're like me you try to stuff your 'needs' into the closet and pretend to be strong all the time so that your husband or family does not feel overwhelmed by you. But the reality is that we want our husbands to pursue us and to be interested in us, even when our lives consist mostly of diapers and Elmo's World.
In the book, they also discuss female relationships and how women's fear of rejection spills over into regular friendships and keeps us from bonding with one another. It seemed like it was easier before I got married somehow. And yet I still need other women as much as I did before.....maybe even more. Anyway, this is a deeper topic, but wanted to see if any of you out there feel lonely or have any thoughts on developing better friendships. You can post here or on Facebook.
Thanks!!
This seems to trickle over into our friendships with women too. We all know we need each other.....we need fellowship and the wise counsel of others going through similar things. Still, it is hard sometimes to lower our personal fences and share our problems or other deep things in our lives.
I've been reading John & Stasi Eldgredge's book "Captivating" which often puts me a very melancholy mood as I consider what it means to be a woman. If you're like me you try to stuff your 'needs' into the closet and pretend to be strong all the time so that your husband or family does not feel overwhelmed by you. But the reality is that we want our husbands to pursue us and to be interested in us, even when our lives consist mostly of diapers and Elmo's World.
In the book, they also discuss female relationships and how women's fear of rejection spills over into regular friendships and keeps us from bonding with one another. It seemed like it was easier before I got married somehow. And yet I still need other women as much as I did before.....maybe even more. Anyway, this is a deeper topic, but wanted to see if any of you out there feel lonely or have any thoughts on developing better friendships. You can post here or on Facebook.
Thanks!!
Saturday, February 2, 2008
dry skin?
This is a new topic added on the facebook page. Maybe you all can help! Since it got so cold, Lewis' skin has become almost like an elephant's--very dry and tough! At first I thought he had a terrible rash, and maybe it is eczema, but wondered if anybody else was dealing with that this winter? We keep piling on the lotion and it helps, but he is still so dry. Poor boy.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
a meandering of thoughts
My pregnancy is plugging along--16 weeks. The little person inside is growing bigger and my clothes are getting tighter! Mostly out of a desire for comfort I have already turned in most of my normal clothes for the more forgiving early-pregnancy maternity pants that I have on hand. Despite the fact that I have to keep pulling them up all the time (which is quite annoying!) it is much better than sitting around with my pants unbuttoned all the time. It seems like when I wake up things are somewhat normal, except for the morning sickness which still lingers, but by the end of the day my belly seems huge. Of course, I don't look pregnant at all, just chunkier. The joys of pregnancy!
It feels so much different this time around. Last time I was thinking about the growing baby all the time. Now I find myself still thinking mostly about that first baby, Lewis. As my belly really grows it will be harder to avoid thinking about this second child. But for now, Lewis has my undivided attention. I hate to confess that a lot of this thinking would fall into the category of worry. He is making strides in a lot of areas, and we are thrilled with that. But it feels like there is a brick wall that we can't seem to knock down and it is standing in the way of some breakthroughs for him.
We are picking a new speech therapist on Monday, and I have been praying all week for wisdom in making this decision. We are longing to find the right person who can really help us in working with Lewis. God knows exactly what we need and who would be good with him, but it is so hard to trust him sometimes. It's harder to trust myself though, which always drives me back to trusting God, after much worry, of course!
If you think about us, please pray for us on Monday. Specifically we are longing for someone who is willing to try a variety of methods with Lewis to see what works with him. We are praying for someone who can help teach Lewis simple communication like nodding, shaking his head and pointing. It feels like our lives would be completely changed if Lewis could at least do those things. Beyond that we want him to explore making sounds and/or signing.....but it will take a special person to get through to him, or possibly the right technique which we have not found yet.
I know every family has issues, and ours are certainly not greater than anyone else's. Still, we'd appreciate your prayers the next few days. Please feel free to post your prayer requests too, either here or at the Facebook page.
Update: Our meeting for today (monday) was cancelled by our coordinator due to illness. We were disappointed and have not rescheduled yet, but we'll keep you posted.
It feels so much different this time around. Last time I was thinking about the growing baby all the time. Now I find myself still thinking mostly about that first baby, Lewis. As my belly really grows it will be harder to avoid thinking about this second child. But for now, Lewis has my undivided attention. I hate to confess that a lot of this thinking would fall into the category of worry. He is making strides in a lot of areas, and we are thrilled with that. But it feels like there is a brick wall that we can't seem to knock down and it is standing in the way of some breakthroughs for him.
We are picking a new speech therapist on Monday, and I have been praying all week for wisdom in making this decision. We are longing to find the right person who can really help us in working with Lewis. God knows exactly what we need and who would be good with him, but it is so hard to trust him sometimes. It's harder to trust myself though, which always drives me back to trusting God, after much worry, of course!
If you think about us, please pray for us on Monday. Specifically we are longing for someone who is willing to try a variety of methods with Lewis to see what works with him. We are praying for someone who can help teach Lewis simple communication like nodding, shaking his head and pointing. It feels like our lives would be completely changed if Lewis could at least do those things. Beyond that we want him to explore making sounds and/or signing.....but it will take a special person to get through to him, or possibly the right technique which we have not found yet.
I know every family has issues, and ours are certainly not greater than anyone else's. Still, we'd appreciate your prayers the next few days. Please feel free to post your prayer requests too, either here or at the Facebook page.
Update: Our meeting for today (monday) was cancelled by our coordinator due to illness. We were disappointed and have not rescheduled yet, but we'll keep you posted.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
transitioning to a crib?
I started a "discussion" on the Facebook group the other day, but wanted to post it here for those of you who may not be members (yet!). Just wanted to get some feedback from those of you who have transitioned from a crib to a big boy/girl bed. What age did you try this at? Did you feel it went well? Did you use bedrails or anything like that to keep your child from falling out of the bed?
Our 2nd child is coming right when Lewis will turn two years-old. We're leaning toward getting another crib for the new baby, but could use your advice!
So far we've had one response from Amy Udy in Hong Kong:
Any other comments/advice appreciated!!
Our 2nd child is coming right when Lewis will turn two years-old. We're leaning toward getting another crib for the new baby, but could use your advice!
So far we've had one response from Amy Udy in Hong Kong:
I have 3 kids and the first two started sleeping on beds when they were two. Both did it very well and successfully. We put an extra mattress on the floor just in case they fell.
However, I am a bit "lazy" to transit the third child to bed from cot even he is two now. Mainly it is because the house we are living at has door handles which are lower enough for the kid to open the door by himself. So, when I put him to his room to sleep, he gets off the bed and opens the door to get out. It takes me time and energy to put him back to bed again and again every night / during the afternoon nap.
This didn't happen to the older two kids cos' they couldn't touch the door handles in our previous house. So, they got out of the bed but couldn't leave their rooms,therefore, eventually they went back to beds to sleep.
BTW, Congratulations on your pregnancy. Hope you have a safe and smooth delivery.
Therefore, my youngest one is still in cot...sigh. Howeve, I think I should start putting him to bed though...
Hm...should pray for that.
Any other comments/advice appreciated!!
Saturday, January 5, 2008
new format?
Well......it's been a while. I could use my pregnancy as an excuse for not blogging, or the holidays for that matter. But despite the fatigue that captured much of my first trimester, there were certainly times that I wanted to share something or vent my thoughts, but there just hasn't been a lot of inspiration as of late.
But it's a new year and I'm getting into my second trimester which means my energy level should be bursting forth anytime now. To get things moving, I've toyed with the idea of creating a group on Facebook. Many of you are on Facebook already, and it would allow for any group member to start a discussion on whatever topic is on your mind at any time.
If you are my 'friend' on Facebook you should have received an invitation to join this group already. If you don't have an account yet, but I have your email address, you may have received an invitation as well. If you would like to join and didn't receive an invitation, just post a comment with your email address or email me directly at shelleygwen@gmail.com.
We are dealing with all kinds of parental issues at our house and I personally need all the help I can get. I hope that together we can be an encouragement to one another, building each other up and sharpening one another to be better moms to the glory of God. It is something that often feels overlooked or mundane, and yet we are shaping lives of people who will grow up to lead and have families of their own.
We have discussed a lot of good topics through this blog already, but as kids grow the issues grow and change, and so if your child is not the same age as my child, hopefully the new format will provide a greater chance to share with other moms going through the same things you are now, or maybe who have been through something similar before.
If you're still checking this blog, thanks for hanging in there. You all have been a great encouragement to me, and I hope that you take something away from here occasionally to make your day a little brighter too.
But it's a new year and I'm getting into my second trimester which means my energy level should be bursting forth anytime now. To get things moving, I've toyed with the idea of creating a group on Facebook. Many of you are on Facebook already, and it would allow for any group member to start a discussion on whatever topic is on your mind at any time.
If you are my 'friend' on Facebook you should have received an invitation to join this group already. If you don't have an account yet, but I have your email address, you may have received an invitation as well. If you would like to join and didn't receive an invitation, just post a comment with your email address or email me directly at shelleygwen@gmail.com.
We are dealing with all kinds of parental issues at our house and I personally need all the help I can get. I hope that together we can be an encouragement to one another, building each other up and sharpening one another to be better moms to the glory of God. It is something that often feels overlooked or mundane, and yet we are shaping lives of people who will grow up to lead and have families of their own.
We have discussed a lot of good topics through this blog already, but as kids grow the issues grow and change, and so if your child is not the same age as my child, hopefully the new format will provide a greater chance to share with other moms going through the same things you are now, or maybe who have been through something similar before.
If you're still checking this blog, thanks for hanging in there. You all have been a great encouragement to me, and I hope that you take something away from here occasionally to make your day a little brighter too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
