my home

"Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."--Ephesians 5:33

While visiting my family in Louisville this weekend, I got to go to church with my sister. Her pastor, Dave Stone, gave a sermon called "My Home" and it was all about marriage, obedience and parenting.

The main passage was Ephesians 5:22-6:4. Often women squirm when they hear the word "submit," but in the context of this passage, it seems to fit well into a marriage where the husband loves his wife as Christ loved the church. Christ's love took him to the cross, so we are talking about a sacrificial, self-less love. It has been documented that a man's greatest need is to feel respected, while a woman's is to feel loved. It's interesting that in God's word, wives are commanded to respect their husbands, and men to love their wives. Stone made the point that God created marriage to be the fulfillment of our greatest needs.

Much of the sermon was memorable and convicting for me. The main thing that stuck with me though, is that often in marriage we go into it vowing to be faithful and give 100%, but when things change and it feels like the other person may be holding back, our typical response is to hold back too. This response leads to a cycle where no one gets their needs met. With severely high divorce rates in our country and all over the world, it is important to remember that while our marriage vows were made to our husbands, they were ultimately made to the Lord. Our spouse may not seem worthy of our respect at times, but God always is. Out of obedience to Him, we should do everything within our power (which is God's power anyway!) to keep our covenant with the Lord, and to allow him to meet our needs.

Stone also told a story of sitting in a coffee shop recently, and witnessing the hand-off between a divorced couple sharing custody of their son. It was so sad to imagine how this little boy felt being taken from one parent to the other on a regular basis. It must be difficult for children to comprehend how they fit into life with a broken family. You can't help but wonder if this marriage could have been saved if the husband or wife might have continued to give after the other seemed to stop. Young children certainly add to the stress on marriage, and we need to be patient with each other and continue to love unconditionally, extending grace to our spouse daily!

If you'd like to hear the whole sermon, it is available HERE for listening or viewing. There is a cheesy video skit at the beginning, just to warn you! It makes a decent backdrop for folding laundry or peeling potatoes.

uncertain wealth

"Command those who are rich in this present world not be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life." -- 1 Timothy 6:17-19

I was reading today about stewardship. It was a chapter about praying for and teaching children how to be good stewards of their time and money. Lewis has a bank account with $50 in it, but so far he has not asked to withdraw any of it! But we know the day is coming, and so it is beneficial to think about it now. This passage in 1 Timothy is a great reminder that God deserves our hope and trust, and not wealth. Still, it was convicting because the way we live often does not reflect this trust in the Lord. It seems like we forget and begin living like wealth is our treasure and goal. But thank God that He is our true treasure. Nothing could be colder than money, and so elusive! God, on the other hand is loving, generous and kind. He deserves our attention and gratitude for all that he has given us.

This whole thing got me thinking about how we will teach Lewis about sharing and tithing, and good stewardship in general. Do you have any suggestions on how to do this well? It doesn't matter how old you are, or how many children you have. Your advice is welcome!

a twist on 1 Corinthians 13

"What Remains"

by Cindy Sigler Dagnan

(taken from Focus on the Family magazine, August 2007)

If I spend my days building skyscrapers with blocks, assembling cool stuff out of LEGOs and creating relationships with other moms at Starbucks (or your local independent coffeehouse)*, but have not love, I am only the siren of the kids' ride-on fire truck, annoyingly stuck on hold.

If I have the gift of knowing which child attempted to flush the Hot Wheels down the toilet and which one pushed her sister, and if I have faith that somehow we'll survive life's emergencies, but have not love, I am nothing.

If I save all my box tops for school and give outgrown clothing to the local shelter, and if I surrender my body to tretch marks and under-eye circles (without the benefit of BOTOX, tanning salons or diet bars), but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient when someone isn't ready to use the big girl potty. It is kind when my husband has a hard day. It doesn't envy my neighbor who drives the new sport utility vehicle I can't afford.

It is not rude, snapping at my spouse or children when things don't go my way. It is not easily angered at perceived or real injustices.

It always protects the smallest, sweetest family confidences; always trusts God to provide my children's needs; always hopes in the freshness of tomorrow and the bright future of family; always perseveres amid hardship and doubt.

Where there are sleepless nights, they shall end. Where there are diapers, Little League and dioramas built from shoeboxes, they will cease. Where there is knowledge of baby care trends, discipline strategies and boy-girl problems, it will pass away.

Now these three remain: faith, lived out in my daily circumstances and instilled in my children; hope, of one day rejoicing with my family in heaven; and love, which covers over a multitude of less-than-perfect moments.

But the greatest of these is love. It is what remains... long after I am gone.

*Added by blog contributor. :)

baby videos

My friend (and maybe yours), Derek Holt, told me about this article about Baby Einstein and other such videos and their possible effects on infants. While I confess to owning the entire Baby Einstein collection, we do limit Lewis' TV viewing, and see the pros and cons of this type of thing. Anyway.....just wanted to post the link HERE, and would love to hear any comments you all might have about the article and/or your experience with baby videos. At 13 months, it's extremely difficult to tell the effect DVDs could be having on our boy for good or bad. He does get super excited when we put one on though, and once he's glued in it's virtually impossible to steal his attention from the screen. Those of you with older kids may have more insight into this issue. If so, please share!

article from local paper

Just to follow up from the other day.......here is the article from the Daily News about that incident.





Woman abandoned at tracks
Police say man left his pregnant girlfriend in vehicle with train coming
the Daily News
Published: August 8, 2007

Bowling Green Police Department officers found a man Tuesday shortly after he had parked a sport utility vehicle on railroad tracks with his pregnant girlfriend inside and walked away.

A train was headed south on the track when the white Mitsubishi Montero Sport was left. The woman was able to get out of the vehicle and the train was able to stop in time. Esteban Dejesus Lowery, 25, 5350 Louisville Road Lot 52, was charged with first-degree wanton endangerment.Krystal Juarbe, 18, who was Lowery’s girlfriend, was left inside the vehicle at the railroad tracks at Main Avenue at 10:25 a.m. Lowery took the keys with him when he abandoned the vehicle, said Officer Barry Pruitt, city police spokesman.

Juarbe lived with Lowery and she is seven months pregnant with his child.Police immediately began a search for Lowery and found him on foot at 10:45 a.m., Pruitt said.The two had been involved in an argument at the Warren County Justice Center, according to a city police report. Lowery was afraid that Juarbe was going to leave him in town and return to their house.Lowery grabbed Juarbe by the arm and dragged her back to the vehicle, according to the report. The two continued to argue and it was at that point Lowery parked the vehicle on the tracks and left.Dispatch notified CSX about the vehicle abandoned on the tracks and the company was able to stop its train heading southbound about 150 yards before it would have struck the vehicle, according to the report.

Lowery was found walking at West 12th Avenue and Vine Street. He denied knowing where the keys to the vehicle could be found, according to the report.The vehicle was towed off the railroad tracks. Lowery is in the Warren County Regional Jail on $10,000 bond.

caught on the tracks

Every morning Lewis and I take a walk. It has been so hot lately, but we have still managed to go almost every day. This morning ended on a shocking note when we approached the train tracks crossing over Main Street downtown. We saw an SUV pull onto the tracks. Immediately, the young man driving quickly got out, walking off into the distance. Soon after, a young woman, obviously 4-5 months pregnant, exited the passenger side door, screaming and somewhat hysterical. Someone in the car behind let her use his cell phone to call the police. While she was still on the phone, a train became visible, approaching from the North. The poor girl became more upset as a gentleman began waving his arms to the train, and as the police pulled up to help get the car off the tracks.

All the sudden, cops were everywhere, trying to find the young man. Standing there in shock, I had been waiting to see what would happen to the car as the train got closer. No one saw what happened to the driver, but the police were in pursuit. I called Justin, who works for the Daily News, and he said their photographers and reporters were on their way. Later he said they thought it was an attempted murder because the driver locked the car and took the keys with him. Fortunately, there are other ways to unlock cars, and his passenger maintained enough composure to figure that out. Still, it reminded me of an episode of CSI where an angry man pushed another car onto some train tracks just as a train was approaching at full speed. Thankfully, this situation ended much better than that. The train had time to stop, and I'm assuming they got the car off the tracks eventually with no one hurt, at least not physically.

Watching that poor girl standing there crying made me rather upset. Pregnancy is supposed to be a wonderful time, though often it is full of nausea and exhaustion that make it less than enjoyable. But having someone try to take your life in the middle of all that is the last thing an expectant mother should have to deal with. My heart absolutely sank for this girl who undoubtedly has entered into the hardest phase of her life. I can only guess that the driver of the car is the father of this baby, and probably does not want the responsibility. My hope is that she has some others who can help her through this, and that God will reveal himself to her in the midst of her pain. I can't help but hope that the young man is found and dealt with justly too. Of course, the baby is on my mind also, and just how this situation will surely have consequences throughout his/her life. It's heart breaking!

Thank God today for your many blessings.......especially your husband, who is undoubtedly a much better example than the one above. I'm so glad that the Lord created things in such a way that babies are given to couples, rather than individuals. Certainly there are cases where becoming a single parent turns out okay, but that is not God's original plan. Raising children is a team effort, and today I'm really grateful for my "team."