my home

"Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."--Ephesians 5:33

While visiting my family in Louisville this weekend, I got to go to church with my sister. Her pastor, Dave Stone, gave a sermon called "My Home" and it was all about marriage, obedience and parenting.

The main passage was Ephesians 5:22-6:4. Often women squirm when they hear the word "submit," but in the context of this passage, it seems to fit well into a marriage where the husband loves his wife as Christ loved the church. Christ's love took him to the cross, so we are talking about a sacrificial, self-less love. It has been documented that a man's greatest need is to feel respected, while a woman's is to feel loved. It's interesting that in God's word, wives are commanded to respect their husbands, and men to love their wives. Stone made the point that God created marriage to be the fulfillment of our greatest needs.

Much of the sermon was memorable and convicting for me. The main thing that stuck with me though, is that often in marriage we go into it vowing to be faithful and give 100%, but when things change and it feels like the other person may be holding back, our typical response is to hold back too. This response leads to a cycle where no one gets their needs met. With severely high divorce rates in our country and all over the world, it is important to remember that while our marriage vows were made to our husbands, they were ultimately made to the Lord. Our spouse may not seem worthy of our respect at times, but God always is. Out of obedience to Him, we should do everything within our power (which is God's power anyway!) to keep our covenant with the Lord, and to allow him to meet our needs.

Stone also told a story of sitting in a coffee shop recently, and witnessing the hand-off between a divorced couple sharing custody of their son. It was so sad to imagine how this little boy felt being taken from one parent to the other on a regular basis. It must be difficult for children to comprehend how they fit into life with a broken family. You can't help but wonder if this marriage could have been saved if the husband or wife might have continued to give after the other seemed to stop. Young children certainly add to the stress on marriage, and we need to be patient with each other and continue to love unconditionally, extending grace to our spouse daily!

If you'd like to hear the whole sermon, it is available HERE for listening or viewing. There is a cheesy video skit at the beginning, just to warn you! It makes a decent backdrop for folding laundry or peeling potatoes.