"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."--Joshua 1:8-9
Fear is a very odd thing. It feels like it comes up when you least expect it, and it can terribly disturb our very lives. Women are certainly more prone to fear than men are, or maybe it is another kind of fear. Men fear failure and letting others down. Women fear physical harm and often various irrational things that have only a slight chance of ever occurring. We fear spiders, thunderstorms, and the unknown. Motherhood brings a whole new group of fears. We worry about our pregnancies, and keeping the babies inside us safe. We worry about the delivery of those babies. Then when they are here we worry about so many aspects of their little lives and anything that might get in the way of a normal existence. It is easy to let fear consume us if we are not careful.
This week there have been several scary things happen that brought fear into our home. The first, a mouse, was relatively harmless. Still, when I found several ketchup packets torn to shreds in one of our kitchen drawers I felt violated, in a way, that there was an uninvited guest rummaging through our things. When I saw the little guy, I was not terrified like the first time I saw a mouse in our home (just after we got married). But this time, as a mom, it upset me that a dirty creature was spreading his germs around our kitchen. My hero, Justin, set a trap that night and the next morning our mouse was no longer an issue!
A few days later, Justin was working in the evening, as he does two nights a week. I had put Lewis to bed around 9 p.m., but he was having trouble falling to sleep for some reason, and I had been in and out of his room a number of times when I heard a knock at the door. We do not have any way to see people without opening the door, and since we never have random people stop by after dark, I was immediately worried about who it might be. I called Justin and asked if he knew of anyone who might be coming by. He said that I should just ask, "Who's there" if the knocking continued.
Well, sure enough, a few minutes later, there was another knock, and with my phone in hand, I asked, "Who is it?" I must've asked loudly about three times before I heard a man respond, "It's your next door neighbor." That did not help me at all! Some people just moved out on one side of us, but why would a new neighbor choose this time of night to introduce himself? So I asked, "Can I help you with something?" He said, "I just wanted to ask you a question." Still skeptical, I said, "I'm in the middle of putting my son to bed right now." He said okay, and a few minutes later I heard a car pull away out on the street.
A few days have gone by now, and our 'neighbor' has not returned to ask his question, which leaves me to my original theory that this was someone with malicious intent looking for a naive person to open their door to a stranger. I have prayed for our protection many times since then. The thought that someone could harm me is scary enough, but my blood boils when I think someone may want to harm my child.
Still, I've heard on a number of occasions that the most repeated command in scripture is 'Do not fear' or 'Do not be afraid.' It helps me to realize that God is my protector and my refuge. He is able to see all those things and/or people who could potentially bring me harm. And yet, time and again, he asks me to trust him, and to take shelter in him. Whether your fear comes from spiders, mice, or mysterious knocks in the night, the Lord is with you wherever you go. It doesn't mean that nothing bad will ever happen. I have to remind myself that if he allows harm to come to my family, that it is not random, but that he has a specific purpose in mind for every trial that comes our way. Worrying about it only locks me into a prison of fear that I cannot escape on my own. That's not to say that I don't have moments when I am afraid, but God consistently provides comfort, and a way out from dwelling on that fear.
4 comments:
The one time we thought we had a would-be intruder, Matthew suggested I call the police. That didn't occur to me for some reason - calling them before a potential crime occurs. But I did, and they were at our house within a couple of minutes, since they were already patrolling the area. If you do need reassurance if someone comes knocking again, I'm sure they'd be more than happy to stop by and check things out for you. They'll probably show up just as quickly, since the station is so close to you guys. - Sarah
I don't think that all women are wimpy and are afraid of mice and spiders. I think that your weak and oversimplified portrayal of women's fears is silly. Men fear people hurting their kids too by the way. My husband shares many of the fears that I do, and that makes him no less of a man, and me no less of a woman.
Anonymous--My intention was certainly not to trivialize fear or make women seem weak! It does seem (to me)like women are prone to different fears than men in general, but you are certainly welcome to disagree. My challenge lately has been turning my fear, whatever it may be, over to the Lord, and not letting it rule my life. After having a mouse, and then having a potential intruder, it occurred to me that I would much rather have a mouse! But at the time--the mouse brought its own kind of fear. The later incident helped me to bring things into perspective. Sharing your fear with your husband would be a positive thing, in my view, so that you can face it together. You are blessed to have him!
I for one, if given the choice, would MUCH rather have Greg deal with a spider or mouse!! It doesn't mean I'm weak or even scared just means I find them COMPLETLY GROSS!! Fears are transgender (is that the right word?). I think what it boils down to is a fear is basically a worry and if we are worrying we are not trusting God (boy I should listen to myself....I'm pretty smart sometimes :0)
Shelley, I'm so glad you guys were/are safe. It definitly sounds as if this "neighbor" had other then neighborly intentions!! Thank you Lord for sending your angels down to protect!!
Heather
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