our high priest

"...because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them. Such a high priest meets our need--one who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted above the heavens. Unlike the other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices day after day, first for his own sins, and then for the sins of the people. He sacrificed for their sins once for all when he offered himself."--Hebrews 7:24-27

Easter is right around the corner, which is in itself a great reminder of God's forgiveness through Jesus' death. These verses use strong language looking back on Christ's sacrifice as a complete act. Once we accept it as the payment for our sins (in our past, present and even future) we are completely forgiven and completely saved. These verses paint a picture of Jesus at the right hand of the Father, constantly interceding on our behalf.

Before we got married, Justin and I went through premarital counseling which was so beneficial for us. We look back on it often and the things we learned, though we do not always put them into practice the way we'd like to. A Christian counselor and his wife organized the sessions, and lead us through several exercises. One week they taught us how to fight. This was not a physical exercise, thank goodness! They wanted us to learn to communicate in such a way that we did not cause the other person to shut down. In marriage, as in all human relationships, language using words like "always" or "never" is typically an exaggeration and they encouraged us to avoid these types of accusations. For example, "You never encourage me," or "You are always late." Humans on the whole are inconsistent and statements like these are almost never true of any one person.

But when it comes to God, and Jesus our high priest, words like "always" and "forever" are the only ones that fit. His character is so consistent and steadfast that anything less would be a lie. In a world where imperfection is the norm, we have a perfect priest who sacrificed himself (not a lamb or a dove), and even now intercedes for us. His love is active and is always working for you.

back home

We are back home after visiting my sister. It was tiring, but a lot of fun. Lewis did really well traveling and meeting new people. He was ecstatic to see Justin when we finally got home and it was so precious to see their cute reunion. Being away was really refreshing. I didn't necessarily feel it in the moment, but being back home I can tell that it made a difference. My sisters are lots of fun and probably the most comfortable of all the relationships I have. They're just easy. We still bicker and get on each other's nerves some, but there is a sense of understanding too-- that we are family and will always be around.

It was super nice having a 3:1 adult to child ratio. Lewis had all the attention he could ever want, but still got to play by himself some. It was a good balance. The weather was beautiful and there were no traveling mishaps. I'm really grateful for a good first road trip under our belt. It gives me hope for the future.

I had no access to the internet while we were gone, but really appreciated the comments on the last post. I do find that I continually need encouragement toward godly living/parenting and do hope to attend a MOPS meeting soon. It is easy to worry about so many things as a parent, and especially the way other people view me and the job I'm doing as a mom. It really should not be about that at all, and I pray that we can help remind each other of these things when the temptation comes to judge ourselves or those around us. It is so hard to believe sometimes that God loves my child more than I do, AND that he made each person with a distinct purpose and loves every one in an unconditional way. It is too much for me to wrap my brain around most days. Still I know that all of my efforts rest in the hands of the one who made me and my child. He is the only one who can really change a person, even the littlest of persons (though he may not change them in the way we expect). As much as these little people learn every day, we are learning too! It all comes round full circle.

on the road

Lewis and I are getting ready to take our first road trip. I'm kind of excited, and kind of afraid! We're not sure if he's teething or what, but his diapers have been disgusting(which is REALLY unusual for him) and he's been very fussy--chewing on everything etc. So the car ride could be soothing, or we could have to make a lot of stops to freshen up. We'll see how it goes. We're picking up my sister in Louisville for the last 6 hours of the journey which will be very helpful!

This week has been strange. I guess the plight of the woman includes varying emotions. The last few days have been a roller coaster for me. Lewis seemed to be learning a lot and then he went on a kissing strike and a talking strike which we added to his constant mobility strike. All that together made me feel like bad mother for a couple of days. I'm sure that others out there feel like this sometimes. You look around at other babies, (and of course we all know we're not supposed to compare because babies all develop at their own pace) and you wonder if you're doing a good job of helping your offspring learn all the things he needs to get through this life. After some good crying spells, and a little time away from the little guy, my emotions turned around. Lewis woke up Tuesday morning giving kisses without being prompted and generally acting like he loves me, and my joy as a mother returned almost instantly.

It occurred to me that we learn the same things over and over in life. Our joy and satisfaction is supposed to be found in Christ, but we continually try to find contentment in other things and realize again and again that nothing else fills the void. Just like Lewis, some things we have to learn again OR just remember that we already know them in the first place. I wish I had some more wisdom to share this week, but that's all I've got for now. Hopefully we'll survive the trip and have some stories to tell later. :)

living water

“Those who drink the water I give them will never thirst.” --John 4:14

The last couple of days have left me feeling "blah." Do you know what I mean? It might have been the grayness of yesterday morning that started it, but it is that feeling of almost numbness toward life. The word "community" stuck out to me when I was looking at this blog's subtitle and it has not been the topic of any posts so far. Not really, anyway. And so today I've been turning it over in mind and it seems like that is what is lacking in my life.

There is a lot to be grateful for, don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled to be married (most of the time!) and happy to be a mom of a funny little guy who gets more interesting as the days go by. But it feels like community in the true sense of the word is hard to locate and sustain, and it gets harder as we get deeper into adulthood. We have pockets of friends in various places: church, work, Spencer's connections, cyberspace. It just feels different and maybe more shallow than past situations have been.

College is a good example. There were people everywhere and it was easy to find friends to hang out with in the dorms. I was part of a ministry with goals and accountability that seemed to be making a difference. Now it takes real effort to even plan something simple, get the husband on board (if men are included), get Lewis fed, dressed etc. and out the door somewhere near on time. Is this just me? Please feel free to tell me if so.

It is cooler today, in the 50s, but sunny so Lewis and I went for a long walk all around downtown. We walked almost to the bypass (near Puerto Vallerta for those of you familiar with BG) so that I could glance at a yard sale. The sun and fresh air provided some comfort. It was nice to walk and clear my head. When I got home I was looking at that Radiant newsletter thing and found another great article from last week that really hit home with my mood.

Here is a rather long excerpt by writer Casey Manes:

"The thirst of a woman’s soul replicates this physical need for water, only it is often much more difficult to tame. Jesus said to come to Him and He would give those who believe in Him living water; in fact, He would be to them the Living Water. I’ve heard that so many times, I assume I’ve got it down. Then I’m disappointed by a friend, or I feel misunderstood by my husband, and the demand of my thirst rears its monstrous self—a thirst and longing to be known, to be needed, to not thirst anymore.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve been with girlfriends, and the conversation boils down to one similar point; we’ve been disappointed by someone, by life, by our current circumstances. Hoping that once the wedding gets here, or the baby comes, or the promotion happens that a lasting quenching of our thirst will finally occur.

I am continuing to learn that to grow in my relationship with Christ means that my identity and hope come from Him alone. Not from hopes of what circumstances I dream will come my way, or hopes in how others will come through for me, but hoping in Christ and His love for me. The startling truth I’m realizing in this journey is that in order to be truly filled by Christ, I have to admit the disappointments I’ve encountered.

Disappointments and heartaches that are given to God free me to look to Him alone for my fulfillment. This can be scary because it means admitting to myself that others have let me down—that my husband can’t fulfill my every need, that my parents won’t always be there for me in the way I expect them to be. It’s giving other people permission not to be my living water, and asking Christ to step into those shoes instead. "

This is really what I am thirsting for. Community is important and I continue to long for it in a real, deep and transformational kind of way. But in order for me to be a vibrant part of it, I have to be first satisfied by this Living Water. Undoubtedly there will always be a sense of discontentedness this side of heaven. God surely intended us to hunger for something beyond this earthly life. Still, if He is willing to fill me up here, in this moment, that is enough for now.

A side note: There is a house two doors down up for auction next Saturday (3-24). It is a major fixer-upper, but should go quite cheaply (less than $30,000--seriously!!). It would really be cool to have some fun neighbors. Anyone interested?

sarah's article

A friend and fellow blogger, Sarah Wilson, just had an article published in the Radiant newsletter. It is connected to Relevant Magazine, if that helps! Congratulations, Sarah. Keep them coming! To read her article click HERE.

good times

"Greet one another with a holy kiss."--2 Corinthians 13:12

The other day I realized that Lewis is outgrowing his current wardrobe, and with the warm weather (it has been in the 70s several days recently) it seemed like a good time to try out a "new" outfit. It had been a while since he had anything new to wear and I guess I forgot how fun it is to see Lewis in something different. Maybe it's a way of reverting back to my childhood and dressing my dolls or something, but my heart wells up with pride and genuine joy when I get to pick out and dress Lewis in new outfits. It's one of my favorite parts of motherhood.

Another new thing for us has been getting kisses from our boy! After one of his female friends, who will remain nameless, gave him a kiss last week, we decided to try teaching Lewis to give kisses too. I was amazed at how quickly he figured it out. He started kissing me as I prompted him excitedly saying, "Give mama a kiss!" while directing his mouth toward my cheek. We moved on to his glo-worm which worked pretty well too. He was hesitant to kiss his daddy at first, but eventually figured that out after kissing his Aunt Monica, and then himself in the mirror. I'll say "Kiss Lewis!" and he moves in and absolutely cracks himself up! This morning after his first feeding, he spontaneously gave me a kiss for the first time. What a sweet boy!! His kisses remain pretty sloppy at this point, but I love getting them regardless. :)

It occurred to me after thinking about the last few days that being a mom has it tough spots, but the joys that come from watching babies grow is infinitely priceless. What a fun way to learn about life, ourselves and the God who created us.

What are you finding joy in as a mother right now?

humility

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."--Philippians 2:1-4

Yesterday I spent some time praying through this passage. It is one that always convicts me because no matter how much I grow spiritually, the issues of vanity and selfishness are hard to overcome. Our small group was challenged to spend some time in silence this week in an attempt to hear from God and make prayer more of a two-way conversation. With Lewis napping, it was not hard to sense the Lord communicating some things to me! I felt sins of pride and selfishness weighing heavy on me, especially the way I relate to Justin so much of the time. My desire is to put his needs above my own, but following through on that gets hard as the day wears on. My other area of weakness seems to be my tongue. I get myself into so much trouble by speaking rashly and without forethought. Of course, that is more a heart issue than anything because whatever I say comes from what is stored inside. All of this junk can be overwhelming, but God did not stop there.

More than anything, in the silence I sensed God's desire to commune with me. The first part of this passage shows that IF we have fellowship with the Spirit, comfort from Christ's love and so on, THEN we can love and serve and do these other things He desires us to do. An aquaintance recently shared with us how he is seeking to let Christ serve him. When you look at the gospels, Christ was looking for followers, but more than anything He was a servant--healing the sick and feeding the masses both physically and spiritually. It is humbling (and somewhat uncomfortable) to let other people serve us sometimes, let alone the Lord who we can't see, and yet it makes sense that He longs to do this in our lives even today. The passage continues:

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness."

It takes humility to serve, but it also takes humility to let someone else serve you. We spend most of our days serving our families, especially the smallest members of them! My prayer is that you would find a few minutes today to let God serve you. Silence is most definitely a blessing when it happens! :)

p.s. Thanks to the moms who shared about adding to the family. Your knowledge is invaluable!

shelter

"In God alone there is rest for my soul,...my rock, my safety, my stronghold so that I stand unshaken."--(Psalm 62:1-2)

Some thoughts from Joyce Rupp's book May I Have This Dance on finding our shelter in the Lord: "Another reason we might not lean very well is that we may not know and trust God enough. We may dread the thought of being vulnerable--even to God. We may fear what will happen to us if we surrender ourselves to God, or we may find ourselves getting tired of having to lean on God. We'd like to be able to take care of the pain by ourselves. I once saw a cartoon that said, 'God, would you help me with this, but make it look like I did it all by myself?'

The Hebrew psalms are filled with images of God as an encircling shield, a shelter, a stronghold when times are difficult, a rock, a fortress, someone who revives our soul and girds us with strength, shelters us under an awning and hides us deep in a protective tent. God is a comfort in illness and a light in the darkness. What a wonderful opportunity we have to take our struggles to this God and receive encouragement, consolation, compassion, understanding, and full acceptance."

Joyce's words encouraged me today, and I hope they do the same for you!

To hear Sandra McCracken's song "Shelter" click HERE and view her performing it live in her living room.

*Moms with multiple children are still encouraged to add advice to the last post at their leisure (if they get some leisure time!).