my faith journey

"I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away'......I did not see a temple in the city, because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple.....Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life."--Revelation 21:2-4, 22 & 27.

When I was 6 years-old (the latter part of my kindergarten year), my family attended an Alliance Church in Louisville. One day my Sunday school teacher, Mrs. Lolly, who seemed incredibly ancient at the time, told us about the Lamb's book of life. She said the Bible talked about this book, and whoever had their name written in it would go to heaven. I can't remember another single thing we learned in her class, but that idea stuck with me. I went home determined to get my name in that book, and asked my mom for help.

She explained to me that we are sinful, like when I would fight with my sister, or disobey her or my dad. Because of our sins, we needed forgiveness before God to be able to be in his presence in heaven. The problem was (and still is) that there is nothing we can do to earn his forgiveness. Only a perfect sacrifice would be acceptable to God, and since none of us are perfect, Christ (who I later learned was God in the flesh, also God's son, the third person of the Trinity) came and died in our place. She told me that if I confessed my sin to God, and invited Jesus into my life and into my heart, that I would be forgiven of all sin, and my name would be written in the Lamb's Book of Life.

I remember after that, asking my mom to write my name in my Bible on the page that separated the Old and New Testaments. I wanted a visual reminder of my salvation. It's funny because I look back and realize that at the time, there was so little of my faith that made sense. But as I grew, the pieces came together more and more. By the time I was in middle school, my nickname became "Thumper" (short for Bible thumper, someone told me) because I was always talking to the other kids about Jesus. I wanted them all to discover the joy of a relationship with God, and to go to heaven, of course. In my zeal, I'm sure I was fairly obnoxious, but I really cared for people.

Looking back, I'm so grateful that I came to know the Lord at an early age. Some have told me that they don't think it's possible for children that young to understand the gospel, but my memory of the whole thing is so vivid, I'm certain that it happened for me, and I know of others with similar experiences.

Lately, as I've been praying for Lewis, that is one of my main requests, that he would grasp the gospel early, come to know Christ, and avoid a lot of sin that could entangle and harm him. Becoming a Christian does not ensure a perfect life, but my prayer is that Lewis would grow to love the Lord and desire to please him, trusting him with everything. We pray for wisdom to raise him to be a leader and to go against the flow of society when it goes against God's revealed will in scripture. I'm looking forward to the day when Lewis might point me toward the truth when I inevitably lose my cool or whatever. He will see me at my worst, no doubt!

Anyway, I was curious if any of you had anything that you pray for often for your kids. Maybe it's because of your own faith journey (which you can post as well, if you want), or maybe you start praying and end up somewhere unexpected. If you have anything you'd like to share, we would all certainly benefit.

making yogurt

We posted something on our family blog about making baby yogurt recently, and I found a website that had an illustrated guide that looks like it would work well. You can check it out HERE.

We have made several batches now, and it is really easy, once you get the hang of it. We have a French press coffeemaker that I've been using to make our yogurt. A wide-mouth jar would work almost just as well. Before starting, be sure to sterilize all utensils and containers you want to use. I just boil water and fill/soak everything for about 5 minues.

My steps end up being:

1). Pour whole milk into the French press (approx. 1/2 gallon), and put the whole thing into a large cooking pot full of water without covering. Using a cooking thermometer, heat the milk to 180 degrees F.

2). Cool the milk at room temperature (we tried cooling in the fridge and room temp. is just as easy) stirring often until milk reaches 112 degrees F. Set out starter (3 to 4 Tbl. of plain yogurt) while milk cools.

3). Once cooled, add some of the hot milk to the starter and stir. Then rejoin with rest of hot milk. Add 1/3 to 1/2 cup fat-free powdered milk for additional nutrition and to thicken. This has really made a difference for us, though it is optional. Stir thoroughly, cover with plastic wrap and/or lid to keep bacteria out. The French press has a very small hole in the top which allows me to keep the thermometer submerged and yet easily visible for checking the temperature during incubation. However you do it, keep your thermometer visible in such a way that you will not have to disturb the yogurt. Any stirring, jiggling etc. will mess it up, trust me!!

4). Incubate for 4+ hours keeping the temperature between 90 and 120 degrees F. I have found that resubmerging the French press into the warm water used in Step1, and covering with a towel keeps the temperature for 4+ hours. I still check every hour or so, but really it holds very well. The cooler method used on the link above looks great too, if your cooler is really clean, which ours is not. :)

5). After 4 hours, check to see if it is done by tilting your container or touching with a clean finger. Four hours works great for us. We then refrigerate in a different container, let it sit for another hour at least before serving and then add fruit or whatever before giving to baby. Your baby will eat it plain (so they say), but I like to combine it with something. Keep a few tablespoons out as a starter for your next batch. The kicker here is that you need to make your next batch within a week. It is still much cheaper than store bought yogurt. TIP FROM LINK ABOVE: I just noticed that you can also freeze some of the yogurt as a starter and thaw the next time you're ready to make yogurt. That sounds like a good alternative!

Your batch of yogurt will keep in the fridge up to 2 weeks.

I'm still a beginner, but have enjoyed the process of making yogurt. It's fun! After your second batch you'll hardly have to pay attention to what you're doing and if you're at home anyway it takes little effort to do. Babysit that first batch, and don't give up if it fails the first time. My first batch was not edible! Since then it has worked great.

disturbing article

This was something Justin came across in the NY Times:

Death by Veganism
By NINA PLANCK
The NY Times

WHEN Crown Shakur died of starvation, he was 6 weeks old and weighed
3.5 pounds. His vegan parents, who fed him mainly soy milk and apple
juice, were convicted in Atlanta recently of murder, involuntary
manslaughter and cruelty.

This particular calamity — at least the third such conviction of
vegan parents in four years — may be largely due to ignorance. But it
should prompt frank discussion about nutrition.

I was once a vegan. But well before I became pregnant, I concluded
that a vegan pregnancy was irresponsible. You cannot create and
nourish a robust baby merely on foods from plants.

Indigenous cuisines offer clues about what humans, naturally
omnivorous, need to survive, reproduce and grow: traditional
vegetarian diets, as in India, invariably include dairy and eggs for
complete protein, essential fats and vitamins. There are no vegan
societies for a simple reason: a vegan diet is not adequate in the
long run.

Protein deficiency is one danger of a vegan diet for babies.
Nutritionists used to speak of proteins as “first class” (from meat,
fish, eggs and milk) and “second class” (from plants), but today this
is considered denigrating to vegetarians.

The fact remains, though, that humans prefer animal proteins and fats
to cereals and tubers, because they contain all the essential amino
acids needed for life in the right ratio. This is not true of plant
proteins, which are inferior in quantity and quality — even soy.

A vegan diet may lack vitamin B12, found only in animal foods; usable
vitamins A and D, found in meat, fish, eggs and butter; and necessary
minerals like calcium and zinc. When babies are deprived of all these
nutrients, they will suffer from retarded growth, rickets and nerve
damage.

Responsible vegan parents know that breast milk is ideal. It contains
many necessary components, including cholesterol (which babies use to
make nerve cells) and countless immune and growth factors. When
breastfeeding isn’t possible, soy milk and fruit juice, even in
seemingly sufficient quantities, are not safe substitutes for a
quality infant formula.

Yet even a breast-fed baby is at risk. Studies show that vegan breast
milk lacks enough docosahexaenoic acid, or DHA, the omega-3 fat found
in fatty fish. It is difficult to overstate the importance of DHA,
vital as it is for eye and brain development.

A vegan diet is equally dangerous for weaned babies and toddlers, who
need plenty of protein and calcium. Too often, vegans turn to soy,
which actually inhibits growth and reduces absorption of protein and
minerals. That’s why health officials in Britain, Canada and other
countries express caution about soy for babies. (Not here, though —
perhaps because our farm policy is so soy-friendly.)

Historically, diet honored tradition: we ate the foods that our
mothers, and their mothers, ate. Now, your neighbor or sibling may be
a meat-eater or vegetarian, may ferment his foods or eat them raw.
This fragmentation of the American menu reflects admirable diversity
and tolerance, but food is more important than fashion. Though it’s
not politically correct to say so, all diets are not created equal.

An adult who was well-nourished in utero and in infancy may choose to
get by on a vegan diet, but babies are built from protein, calcium,
cholesterol and fish oil. Children fed only plants will not get the
precious things they need to live and grow.

Nina Planck is the author of “Real Food: What to Eat and Why.”

a great painter

"Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?"--John 18:11

"Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?"--Job 2:10

Taken from Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman. This excerpt is by Tauler:

"God is a thousand times more meticulous with us than even an artist is with his canvas. Using many brush strokes of sorrow, and circumstances of various colors, He paints us into the highest and best image He visualizes, if we will only receive His bitter gifts of myrrh in the right spirit.

Yet when our cup of sorrows is taken away and the lessons in it are suppressed or go unheeded, we do more damage to our soul than could ever be repaired. No human heart can imagine the incomparable love God expresses in His gift of myrrh. However, this great gift that our soul should receive is allowed to pass by us because of our sleepy indifference, and ultimately nothing comes of it.

Then, in our barrenness we come and complain, saying, 'O Lord, I feel so dry, and there is so much darkness within me!' My advice to you, dear child, is to open your heart to the pain and suffering, and it will accomplish more good than being full of emotion and sincerity."

hiatus

"The Lord is my strength and my shield: my heart trusts in him, and I am helped."--Psalm 28:7

Forgive the posting hiatus! This week quickly turned into one heap of laundry after another when Lewis (now almost 11 months old) got his first ever stomach-virus. Unfortunately, I followed suit, and got to experience the agony of nausea that had nothing to do with pregnancy. It was not fun. But we are both on the downhill slope now. We're not quite 100%, but almost. It seems like health is something we tend to take for granted when we have it, and long for when we don't. Today was gorgeous, and I really enjoyed feeling almost normal after yesterday.

I became quickly grateful for so many of the conveniences we have in washing machines and dryers, disposable diapers, and my trusty breast pump to keep me from getting totally uncomfortable when Lewis didn't want to nurse. It was tough caring for him when I was feeling junky, but it made me so grateful that most days I feel just fine. There are so many people who struggle with illness and fatigue everyday. I really don't know how they do it. I'm also grateful for a husband who is willing to make me pancakes for dinner and mess with Lewis after a full day of work at a less-than-satisfying job. He also made a special trip to get me a frosty around 9:30 p.m. What a guy!

And for the first time, I was so happy that my boy is not crawling all over the place. It was so nice to be able to watch Lewis play while lying on the couch, resting, and know that he was not going anywhere! I'm pretty sure I drifted off to sleep a couple of times, but he never moved an inch. Next week, I'll be pushing him to mobility, but this week it was a relief that he has not figured it out quite yet.

Thanks for your encouraging comments on this blog and our family blog too. I really feel a sense of camaraderie with my fellow "mommas" out there. I'm glad we can help each other figure this parenting thing out. Hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day!

my mom

With Mother's Day approaching, my thoughts have turned to my mom, and the chasm that now exists between us. She's with the Lord, and certainly thrilled to be there. I'm happy for her, and certainly glad that she is free from the sufferings that came to her physically before she passed. Still, I can't say that I don't miss her. In fact, sometimes it seems like the more that times goes on, the more I miss her and wish I could pick her brain on a range of issues.

To give you a little background, my mom grew up in a pretty difficult situation. My grandmother had been married due to unplanned pregnancies twice, and divorced both times by the time my mom was 8. In fact, mom saw her father for the last time when she was just 10 years-old. Grandma told mom on several occasions that if abortion had been legal when she was conceived, she would've never been born. Mom was passed around quite a bit among her relatives and struggled from a low self-esteem. Still, at age 12 at a church camp, mom invited Christ into her life. It was not until much later that mom really grew in her faith through an organization called the Navigators. The unconditional love of a discipler/mentor helped mom to mature spiritually and socially, which equipped her for the ministry God had for her.

Because of her own rough childhood, mom worked hard to create a loving environment for my sisters and me. Despite our low income early on, mom never worked outside the home, and she was anything but a lazy housewife! She was always available for us after school, which meant alot, especially when we got into high school and other kids started getting into trouble. Her ministry went far beyond our family too. She had compassion for people that was hard to match. There were always tons of people around our house. We had Youth For Christ meetings in our home when my sisters got into high school. We had several people who lived with us for varying amounts of time because mom found it hard to turn down someone in need. She was involved in another ministry called Stonecroft, leading Bible studies all over Louisville. She had groups in random businesses on their lunch hour, in the ghetto or in people's homes. Even when she got cancer she adopted the nurses and other patients going through chemotherapy.

It was truly amazing at her funeral to see hundreds of people who had been influenced by her life; a diverse group of all ages and races. She made it clear at her funeral what she wanted them to know--Christ can take a broken life and turn it around for his glory. She was proof!

Four years ago this weekend, I came home from Belarus, leaving staff with Campus Crusade. Justin had proposed a couple months earlier, and I had returned to prepare for our marriage. It was the last time I got to surprise mom. She thought I was coming back the next week, but I got home in time for Mother's Day, much to her delight. For the next 5 months or so, we saw mom steadily decline until the chemo stopped working altogether. Her two-years of treatments were coming to an end. The cancer was mutating so quickly that it was almost instantly immune to new drugs. The last six weeks were the hardest because she was suffering, and I was there to witness much of the agony. Even then, she clung to the Word of God for strength and looked forward to meeting her creator in person. I remember finding her one day watching HGTV, crying. When I asked her what was going on she said, "I can't decide if I want to go to heaven and be with the Lord, or if I want to plant a garden and watch it grow." Then she started laughing. Both options seemed really good at the time.

Honestly, at the time of mom's death, there was great relief. Watching her die sucked the life out of me, and I was ready to be revived. It was not until a few months later that I began to really feel the void. It still haunts me. Pregnancy and motherhood have brought a new desire for my mom. She wanted so badly to have grandchildren and I would so love to see the look on her face meeting her grandson for the first time. Maybe I'll still get to see that first encounter in heaven someday. But for now I have to muddle through without her. Mothers love in a way that no one else can. They love deeply, unconditionally and completely. Even their unwarranted advice is a sign of their love. What I would give now for some of that advice. Some days are easy, but many are hard, and I realize that I will never get over this loss. But I guess I'm not supposed to.

My dad told me recently that my mom would be proud of me for breastfeeding Lewis and the job I've done so far. There's no greater compliment in my mind. She had her problems, but she set an example that I want to follow. I see glimpses of her in myself some days and smile.

out of deep waters into delight

"I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies....
He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.......He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me."--Psalm 18:1-3,16 & 19.

Sometimes it's hard to imagine the Lord delighting in me. Sometimes I don't feel very delightful. But if it's anything like the joy that Lewis brings to Justin and I, it's a wonderful thing! Just hearing Lewis cooing in the morning makes me giddy. He is so cute and sweet. In the morning he is especially silly. Once he has eaten he starts jumping and "talking" loudly. He often chooses that time to give several sloppy kisses. He doesn't have a lot of ways to show his affection, but I definitely take delight in the simple things he does to communicate his love. Even at 10 months old he is able to express love, and there is nothing sweeter to a mom. It is so humbling that God has entrusted us with this precious life for the next 18 years or so!

To think that God looks at me in the same way is such a comforting thought. There are many things I say and do that must disappoint him. Still, I know that he sees me as a whole person, and must see my heart and my true desire to bring him glory. Unfortunately, I do not carry out this desire flawlessly all the time, but it is the absolute passion of my life, and one I long to develop more and more. Today as you look at your child, allow yourself to consider that the God who made you is looking on you too and delighting in you.

praying for purpose

Here a short excerpt from Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures For Your Children," specifically from the chapter 'Praying For Your Child's Purpose in Life.' Jodie writes:

"Rather than pigeonholing or manipulating our kids into a life path that might not line up with God's design, let's learn to see our kids through God's eyes--and align ourselves with his plan for their lives. To this end, author Jean Fleming recommends regular times of prayer and planning for each child. As we bring our children before the Lord, she says we should:

* ACKNOWLEDGE God's hand on their lives, even before they born.
* ADMIT any areas we resent in the way God put our children together.
* ACCEPT God's design for each child, thanking him for how he or she was made.
* AFFIRM God's purpose in creating our children for his glory.
* ALLY ourselves with God in his plans for their lives.

Of course, trusting in God and his plan for our kids--along with accepting his timetable--is not always easy. But if we remember that he loves them (even more than we do), and that he promises to work in all things for the good of those who love him, we can quit pushing and prodding--and get down to the real business of praying."

in the Bible and on LOST

"So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife. Then he went to her, and the Lord enabled her to conceive, and she gave birth to a son. The women said to Naomi: "Praise be to the Lord, who this day has not left you without a kinsman-redeemer. May he become famous throughout Israel! He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age. For your daughter-in-law, who loves you and who is better to you than seven sons, has given him birth." --Ruth 4:13-15

If any of you watch the show LOST you may be finding the connection between the island and fertility very curious!! People who conceive there seem to have trouble, but then again people who otherwise couldn't get pregnant, all the sudden are able to. Who knows what will become of this dilemma. We keep expecting Bernard and Rose to show back up with a baby on the way too. That theory is probably too far fetched even for LOST.

Still, in a similar way, throughout both the Old and New Testaments, God shows himself to be very involved in the fertility and/or infertility of women. In this passage in Ruth, "God enabled her to conceive," and her line continues all the way to Christ. Have you ever wondered about how amazing it was that both of Naomi's daughters-in-law had not become pregnant before the death of their husbands? Without birth control like we have now, it would seem like the vast majority of couples would have had babies immediately. Maybe part of Naomi's struggle with the Lord in this passage was due to the fact that she lost her husband, both of her sons, AND she had no grandchildren resulting from either of those unions to bring her fulfillment or to continue the family name. It seems rather odd that it happened this way.

Most of us probably feel somewhat, if not totally, in control of our reproductive lives, and yet passages like this indicate that the Lord is still very involved and ultimately totally in control of how many babies we produce. And because of God's holy character, we know that His plan is ALWAYS good. We may not be able to see it this way when our desires do not come to fruition the way we had hoped. Still, Naomi's story shows that God does not forget about his children. He often does things in such a way that He is brought the utmost glory.

I have seen this even in cases where couples have not been able to conceive on their own. Parents who otherwise may not have considered adoption end up raising the children God had intended to be theirs all along.

However our story plays out, it is awesome to know that every life has the mark of the Creator, and with it an inexplicable hope of things to come. This hope reflects the ultimate hope we have for heaven. Thankfully, we do not have to wait to begin enjoying eternal life. It begins when we receive Christ. It's like Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:12: "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."