blog slacker

Wow, I have been such a huge slacker when it comes to blogging. If you are out there and still reading, please forgive me! Thanksgiving sort of took over and I've been out of touch with reality ever since (struggling to get back into the routine of normal life, at least!).

One tip I would like to pass on is regarding diaper rash. Hopefully we'll have some more deep posts soon, but for now, this was really helpful and might help you sometime! Lewis came down with a terrible diaper rash just after Thanksgiving. Unlike every other time, Boudreaux's Butt Paste didn't clear this one up! I was pretty concerned, and talked to the ladies in the church nursery about it on Sunday as I changed another stinky diaper.

One of them mentioned that when her twins, now 3, had bad diaper rashes, she used something called Triple Paste. She said it is sold without a prescription, but it's typically kept behind the counter because it's pricier and is prone to get stolen. Sure enough, the Kroger pharmacy had some and it got rid of this awful rash right away. I was pretty thankful for this tip, and may never have known without some advice from someone who's been there.

back home

We've been back from our vacation for a week now! We had a good time. Travel-wise everything went fabulously. Every flight was early and we were able to catch an earlier return flight for the last leg which got us back 3 hours ahead of schedule. Since we didn't check any bags, we didn't have to worry about lost luggage. Everything went really well. We were so busy and tired from hiking, walking etc., that I didn't worry about Lewis. We talked frequently to the grandparents, but everything seemed to be going well, so those calls just set us at ease more than anything.

We also took the opportunity to completely wean Lewis from nursing. He is over 16 months-old now, and was only nursing at night anyway, so it has been a relatively smooth transition. Five days away made it much easier since I was unable to continue in our routine. It has taken us a few days to get into the swing of a new bedtime ritual. Lewis used to nurse with a low-lit lamp and got used to watching his clock tick on a nearby shelf (odd, but he likes it!), so I have switched to rocking him and singing a few songs instead so that he still has a good view of the clock. He still lays down awake and goes right to sleep. He has slept great since we got back home, which has been a great blessing!! It seems that sleeping is one of his best talents, and I can't complain about that. :)

All in all, we survived our first baby-absence. It was not as bad as I had expected, and the best part was not cooking, cleaning or changing diapers for several days. We were certainly ready to be reunited with our boy. He's become the sweetest part of our lives.

It seems like time really flies in the fall or is it just me? Next week is Thanksgiving. It's so hard to believe that we're into the holidays already. Soon we will be making the big decision about Christmas decorating........or really, seeing what Lewis' decision about it will be. If we put up a tree and he wants to un-decorate it on a regular basis, we may have trouble. We also have a 6 month-old kitty who could try to climb the thing, so I'm trying to keep my expectations low! If you have any good stories to share about your experience with kids and holiday decorating, it would be fun to hear your feedback.

getting away

This has been a good week in our home. Lewis is sleeping great again, despite a tooth coming through that is causing him to love his paci. The solution this time seems to have been covering the little lights on his humidifier and baby monitor. Maybe it was a coincidence, but once the extra light was gone he's had no trouble sleeping 11-12 solid hours once again, and for that we are truly grateful.

Along with this development, I have been able to get back into my routine of waking up before Lewis and spending some time in my Bible and prayer before things go crazy. My favorite part about this set-up is that when I wake up, there is a fresh pot of coffee waiting for me! Thanks to our lovely Krups programmable coffee maker, I can stumble around in the morning with easy access to the beverage that starts my day off right. It's funny how the little things mean so much sometimes!

In other news, we are preparing to leave Lewis for a few days and take a much needed vacation. Still, I am anxious about leaving him even though his grandparents are crazy about him and will take great care of him. If anyone has any advice or stories to share on getting through the separation anxiety, I'm all ears (or eyes technically if you post a comment!). I feel like the 23rd Psalm is coming true in my life as the Lord is making me lie down in green pastures and leading me beside still waters by taking this vacation. We wouldn't be going if our frequent flier miles were not expiring at the end of the year. So in a way it feels forced, but I know God, as my loving heavenly father, has a good plan that includes more blessing than I tend to expect. Justin really needs the break too, so it is coming at a great time and the trip will conclude on our fourth wedding anniversary. God is good. :)

orphan mindset

"This is what the Lord says, 'Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.'

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" --Jeremiah 17:1-9.

After my ranting of last week, I have been on a quest for peace internally. Granted we all will have bad days, but my response to things has not been good, and my general state lately has been one of anxiousness and fear. I've been afraid that God has turned his back on me for some reason, which biblically cannot be the case. But when we start to go down that road of doubt, our hearts can be very deceptive and we can begin to believe things that are far from the truth!

Thankfully we have been attending a small local church where the truth is taught clearly and without shame. We have been going through Romans and the pastor has made it clear that salvation is the beginning of a lifetime of struggle with our flesh. Before becoming believers, we as humans are content to sin and to try to satisfy the flesh anyway we can. But afterward, when the Spirit comes to dwell within us, we begin to struggle to overcome sin and a battle ensues that continues until death. It is wonderful that salvation is not just from the penalty of sin, but also to free us from the power of sin in our lives. And it is powerful. If we are not winning the battle, sin is probably winning instead. (I can't do justice to the wonderful quotes the pastor gives each week!).

All of this to say that through ingesting this truth on Sundays and in reading a book called "From Free to Freedom" by Rose Marie Miller, I have been finding some victory over this anxiety that had gripped me and rediscovering my position as a daughter of God. Miller talks about how often Christians live like abandoned orphans without a father, trusting in themselves and living in fear of what will come. I've seen a lot of myself in these pages! This is the book that the Bible study group I attended last week will be studying, so my hope is that Lewis and I will be able to go and engage in discussion on this topic.

Having a child brings in a new area with which to trust God, and it is much harder than I expected. But relying on myself and my own plan is far shakier, so it will be something that I will have to continually lay at his feet. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers for us. We are excited about what God is doing in all of us.

mommy frustration

It's not quite noon, and I'm already worn out from motherhood! It's just been one of those days that is following one of the those nights. Lewis was basically up from 12:30 a.m. to 2:30 a.m. off and on. We rocked, nursed, put him in our bed......but nothing worked. Eventually Justin got up to give Lewis baby Motrin and to 'do his thing' which I'm happy to say eventually did the job. Lewis was up again at 6 a.m., nursed again, and thankfully slept until almost nine. Needless to say, weaning is not going well with these kind of nights happening fairly often lately. It reminds me of the newborn days.

This morning was one I had been looking forward to for a couple of weeks. Some ladies who are involved with a local church plant are starting a Bible study and today was the first real meeting.

After the night we had, I was running around crazy trying to get myself and Lewis ready (and fed) with very little time. Throw in a leak in our bathroom ceiling, and it was no easy task getting everything together. Luckily there are other moms of babies in the group, so I was not the latest one! Things were going well and we were getting aquainted. Lewis, with his mobility gaps, still falls down often, especially in unfamiliar surroundings. He had already fallen a couple of times after we arrived, but just after our formal introductions, Lewis took yet another fall, and cried off and on the rest of the time we were there. So much so, that I had to take him outside. Once there, the problem became that he didn't want to go back in.

It was frustrating because he seemed perfectly fine, aside from a couple of "owies," but absolutely refused to play inside and calm down. Since he can't communicate and tell me when something is wrong, it certainly makes it hard to know what to do. Of course, in my mind I'm thinking that these new potential friends are probably making mental notes that our family is out of control and certainly their interest in us as people is vanishing. I'm thinking that I'll never be able to be part of anything deeper because it is too hard to focus when Lewis could take a fall at any moment.

Eventually I drove away in tears, humiliated, and wondering if God really cares about any of this. In my heart, I know he does. But there are those days when it feels like if any more weight is added to the load that my world is going to shatter.

I know that I am not alone with these feelings. While it is very hard for me to get out and spend time with actual friends in person, I do take comfort in being connected online to many real moms who are doing their best to make it through each day. When our babies are grown, we will miss these days! But in the present, some hard times come and we need the encouragement of others to help us through. If you are out there having a bad day, take heart--You are not alone!!

And more importantly, our God sees you, and knows your pain, frustration and sees your tears. Here a couple of interesting scriptures about tears:

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." --Psalm 126:5-6.

"'Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.'"--Revelation 21:3-4.

silly song

Tonight at dinner, Justin was trying to get Lewis to eat some "Lone Star Stew," which is mainly ham and black-eyed peas. It tastes better than it sounds! Anyway, we often will sing Lewis silly songs to encourage him to eat, and make up many of our own. Keeping with tradition, Justin started out singing "Jesus Loves the Little Children," but ended up with several original verses. I was fairly surprised a few minutes later to hear:

Jesus loves the little Lewis
Our little Lewis of the world
If he's happy, if he's sad
If he's drunk or if he's mad
Jesus loves the little Lewis, yes he does

While this is technically true, I'm really hoping that Lewis is not discovered drunk anytime soon! It really cracked me up, and Justin had to go back over in his mind what he had said because he didn't realize why I was laughing. Nothing like cheap, fun entertainment. The best part is--Lewis actually ate some of the stew! :)

stretching your cash

In an attempt to keep topics separate, here is a comment left by someone hoping for feedback. For the full comment check the last post. Thanks!!

"I'm a fairly young mom by today's standards. I'll be 27 in December, and I'll have a 20 month little girl and a newborn baby boy by that time. Now I'm struggling to put together a budget that will somehow allow me to keep staying home with my kids, and still keep us sheltered, clothed and fed. And the repercussions of my potential failure to squeeze the life out of husband's salary mean that I might have to step out of my kids' lives for 10 hours a day and let someone else be the one who cares for them. I just feel so burdened lately with the weight of that. Being a stay at home mom is difficult, and I don't mean the at home with the kids part. But trusting God to provide when our needs are very real is frightening. I guess I've always trusted in my ability to make money, or in the amount of money I have socked away in savings. Both of those aren't very reassuring right now. I have been working from home, but the arrival of a newborn is going to really force me to reevaluate that situation.

So I guess one question to the other moms who read this is how do you deal with these issues? Particularly if you stay at home, on a practical level, how do you make your money stretch? I know I'm not the only one feeling the pinch of a lost salary...or maybe I am :) How do you deal with convincing your husbands that some luxuries have to be done away with? Do you feel that, despite not working, you're the one in charge of figuring out everything about how to keep your family afloat? Anyone else want to vent? :)"

what's on your mind?

Forgive me for the long delay between posts. We have been dealing with some developmental issues with Lewis which has kept us pretty busy. You can see an update at our regular family blog if you're interested. I've actually been learning a lot through some solid sermons at church on Sundays, which has been fantastic. The other thing that has been helpful has been getting up before Lewis most mornings (sometimes he wakes up earlier than I would like!), and having some time in the Word before my day really gets going. It really does affect everything when I can take a breath and invite the Lord into my day before it gets rolling.

Going through this testing with Lewis has been rather draining emotionally. I'm thrilled to have enlisted help because we need it and I know we will all benefit from those who specialize in early childhood development. Still, it has been humbling to admit that we don't have all the answers. Our speech therapist told us last week not to get bogged down in the "why's." She said she often sees parents who are intelligent and doing all they can, but their kids developmentally are missing some things. At the same time, there are those parents out there who seem clueless, and seem to be doing a whole lot of things wrong, but their kids are hitting every milestone right on schedule. It's much better to focus on moving forward than trying to figure out why we are here today, when we may never know for sure.

So today we are hopeful that we are heading in the right direction. And we are thankful to be in a place of need where we are forced to trust God with the most precious part of our lives. And we are so thankful for the blessing of Lewis, the way he is. He has his issues, but we absolutely adore him and wouldn't change a minute of his little life. We constantly hope and strive to be all that he needs us to be as his parents. We will fail often! But we will never stop trying.

All of this is meant to invite you all into the conversation. My interests and concerns right now may be on the opposite end of the spectrum from yours. My desire for this blog is for it to be encouraging for moms out there on a range of subjects. If you've got something on your mind that you'd like to get feedback on, we'd love to know. I wish i was savvy enough to know how to create threads so that a wide array of topics could be discussed all the time. Still, if you have anything you'd like to hear about or just want to share about your current joys and/or struggles, post away.

tips on eating?

If anybody out there has some advice on toddler eating, please post some comments! It seems the whole transitional time of teaching your child to eat on his/her own is a tough one. Some kids do finger foods well before a year, and then some (like my child) will only feed himself certain things. Most unfamiliar items hit the floor in a matter of seconds. But I know of kids who have struggled to eat meat or veggies, and the rare child who doesn't like fruit. How do you work some of these needed nutrients into their diets? As they become more aware of their environment it is certainly harder to trick them into eating the things they don't want to eat.

One last question--How do you transition them to using a spoon and fork without attracting every ant in the tri-state area (from the mess of course!)? Every child is different, but if your child is eating on his own, then you've accomplished something amazing! Your help will mean a lot to me and at least a few others.

Thanks!!

something more

This article was posted on Cafe Mom, and I wanted to share it with you all, because if you are a mother you have worried at some point (or will in the future) about your child's progress, be it physically, socially etc. Lewis has missed several milestones so far, and in talking with other moms, it seems like we all have fears and struggles, and many will find that their child needs help in one area or another. Some will need a lot of help. It reminds me of a sweet note someone sent after Lewis was born that said, "You are God's perfect provision for this child." Some days it just doesn't feel that way. It feels like someone else might do a much better job. But I know deep down that God specifically gifted us with Lewis and vice-versa. He is what we need as much as we are what he needs. The same is true for you and your children. I hope you find this encouraging, and depending on your emotional state you may need a tissue!

Written by: Lori Borgman Columnist and Speaker

My friend is expecting her first child. People keep asking what she
wants. She smiles demurely, shakes her head and gives the answer
mothers have given throughout the ages of time. She says it doesn't
matter whether it's a boy or a girl. She just wants it to have ten
fingers and ten toes. Of course, that's what she says. That's what
mothers have always said. Mothers lie.

Truth be told, every mother wants a whole lot more. Every mother
wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips,
button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin. Every mother wants a baby
so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out
ugly. Every mother wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take
those first steps right on schedule (according to the baby
development chart on page 57, column two). Every mother wants a baby
that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions. She
wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points
that are the envy of the entire ballet class. Call it greed if you
want, but we mothers want what we want.

Some mothers get babies with something more. Some mothers get babies
with conditions they can't pronounce, a spine that didn't fuse, a
missing chromosome or a palette that didn't close. Most of those
mothers can remember the time, the place, the shoes they were wearing
and the color of the walls in the small,suffocating room where the
doctor uttered the words that took their breath away. It felt like
recess in the fourth grade when you didn't see the kick ball coming
and it knocked the wind clean out of you.

Some mothers leave the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months,
even years later, take him in for a routine visit, or schedule her
for a well check, and crash head first into a brick wall as they bear
the brunt of devastating news. It can't be possible! That doesn't run
in our family. Can this really be happening in our lifetime? I am a
woman who watches the Olympics for the sheer thrill of seeing finely
sculpted bodies. It's not a lust thing; it's a wondrous thing. The
athletes appear as specimens without flaw - rippling muscles with
nary an ounce of flab or fat, virtual powerhouses of strength with
lungs and limbs working in perfect harmony. Then the athlete walks
over to a tote bag, rustles through the contents and pulls out an
inhaler.

As I've told my own kids, be it on the way to physical therapy after
a third knee surgery, or on a trip home from an echo cardiogram,
there's no such thing as a perfect body. Everybody will bear
something at some time or another. Maybe the affliction will be
apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be unseen, quietly treated
with trips to the doctor, medication or surgery. The health problems
our children have experienced have been minimal and manageable, so I
watch with keen interest and great admiration the mothers of children
with serious disabilities, and wonder how they do it. Frankly,
sometimes you mothers scare me. How you lift that child in and out of
a wheelchair 20 times a day. How you monitor tests, track
medications, regulate diet and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred
specialists yammering in your ear. I wonder how you endure the
clichés and the platitudes, well-intentioned souls explaining how God
is at work when you've occasionally questioned if God is on strike. I
even wonder how you endure schmaltzy pieces like this one — saluting
you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you're ordinary.
You snap, you bark, you bite. You didn't volunteer for this. You
didn't jump up and down in the motherhood line yelling, "Choose me,
God! Choose me! I've got what it takes."

You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in
perspective, so, please, let me do it for you. From where I sit,
you're way ahead of the pack. You've developed the strength of a
draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil. You have a
heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, carefully
counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule. You can
be warm and tender one minute, and when circumstances require intense
and aggressive the next. You are the mother, advocate and protector
of a child with a disability. You're a neighbor, a friend, a stranger
I pass at the mall. You're the woman I sit next to at church, my
cousin and my sister-in-law. You're a woman who wanted ten fingers
and ten toes, and got something more.

You're a wonder.

'lil angels attic

Just a friendly reminder to anyone near Bowling Green--Broadway UMC is hosting their semi-annual 'Lil Angels Attic consignment sale this weekend. Regular hours are Friday 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Saturday 9 a.m. to 12 noon. Saturday is the half price sale, where many items are reduced. Broadway is located at 1323 Melrose St., 42104.

We've purchased many items the last couple of years including toys, clothes for Lewis, maternity clothes, and even an umbrella stroller for $5. It's worth the trip, especially since a portion of the proceeds go to local children's charities.

faithful bravery!

My sister is close friends with a family with four kids at her church in Evanston, IL. This story was sent from the father via email and it was so adorable, I had to post it. Keep in mind that Emmett is only 6 or 7 years-old. So mature!!

Today Bev needed Cullen's milk cup out of the van. The van was parked across the street from our house. She decided to send Emmett out to get it. Before he went though she told him to make sure that he looked both ways very carefully before he crossed the street. He said, he would. Then he said, "But if I die, mom, just remember; God meant it for good."

my home

"Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."--Ephesians 5:33

While visiting my family in Louisville this weekend, I got to go to church with my sister. Her pastor, Dave Stone, gave a sermon called "My Home" and it was all about marriage, obedience and parenting.

The main passage was Ephesians 5:22-6:4. Often women squirm when they hear the word "submit," but in the context of this passage, it seems to fit well into a marriage where the husband loves his wife as Christ loved the church. Christ's love took him to the cross, so we are talking about a sacrificial, self-less love. It has been documented that a man's greatest need is to feel respected, while a woman's is to feel loved. It's interesting that in God's word, wives are commanded to respect their husbands, and men to love their wives. Stone made the point that God created marriage to be the fulfillment of our greatest needs.

Much of the sermon was memorable and convicting for me. The main thing that stuck with me though, is that often in marriage we go into it vowing to be faithful and give 100%, but when things change and it feels like the other person may be holding back, our typical response is to hold back too. This response leads to a cycle where no one gets their needs met. With severely high divorce rates in our country and all over the world, it is important to remember that while our marriage vows were made to our husbands, they were ultimately made to the Lord. Our spouse may not seem worthy of our respect at times, but God always is. Out of obedience to Him, we should do everything within our power (which is God's power anyway!) to keep our covenant with the Lord, and to allow him to meet our needs.

Stone also told a story of sitting in a coffee shop recently, and witnessing the hand-off between a divorced couple sharing custody of their son. It was so sad to imagine how this little boy felt being taken from one parent to the other on a regular basis. It must be difficult for children to comprehend how they fit into life with a broken family. You can't help but wonder if this marriage could have been saved if the husband or wife might have continued to give after the other seemed to stop. Young children certainly add to the stress on marriage, and we need to be patient with each other and continue to love unconditionally, extending grace to our spouse daily!

If you'd like to hear the whole sermon, it is available HERE for listening or viewing. There is a cheesy video skit at the beginning, just to warn you! It makes a decent backdrop for folding laundry or peeling potatoes.

uncertain wealth

"Command those who are rich in this present world not be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life." -- 1 Timothy 6:17-19

I was reading today about stewardship. It was a chapter about praying for and teaching children how to be good stewards of their time and money. Lewis has a bank account with $50 in it, but so far he has not asked to withdraw any of it! But we know the day is coming, and so it is beneficial to think about it now. This passage in 1 Timothy is a great reminder that God deserves our hope and trust, and not wealth. Still, it was convicting because the way we live often does not reflect this trust in the Lord. It seems like we forget and begin living like wealth is our treasure and goal. But thank God that He is our true treasure. Nothing could be colder than money, and so elusive! God, on the other hand is loving, generous and kind. He deserves our attention and gratitude for all that he has given us.

This whole thing got me thinking about how we will teach Lewis about sharing and tithing, and good stewardship in general. Do you have any suggestions on how to do this well? It doesn't matter how old you are, or how many children you have. Your advice is welcome!

a twist on 1 Corinthians 13

"What Remains"

by Cindy Sigler Dagnan

(taken from Focus on the Family magazine, August 2007)

If I spend my days building skyscrapers with blocks, assembling cool stuff out of LEGOs and creating relationships with other moms at Starbucks (or your local independent coffeehouse)*, but have not love, I am only the siren of the kids' ride-on fire truck, annoyingly stuck on hold.

If I have the gift of knowing which child attempted to flush the Hot Wheels down the toilet and which one pushed her sister, and if I have faith that somehow we'll survive life's emergencies, but have not love, I am nothing.

If I save all my box tops for school and give outgrown clothing to the local shelter, and if I surrender my body to tretch marks and under-eye circles (without the benefit of BOTOX, tanning salons or diet bars), but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient when someone isn't ready to use the big girl potty. It is kind when my husband has a hard day. It doesn't envy my neighbor who drives the new sport utility vehicle I can't afford.

It is not rude, snapping at my spouse or children when things don't go my way. It is not easily angered at perceived or real injustices.

It always protects the smallest, sweetest family confidences; always trusts God to provide my children's needs; always hopes in the freshness of tomorrow and the bright future of family; always perseveres amid hardship and doubt.

Where there are sleepless nights, they shall end. Where there are diapers, Little League and dioramas built from shoeboxes, they will cease. Where there is knowledge of baby care trends, discipline strategies and boy-girl problems, it will pass away.

Now these three remain: faith, lived out in my daily circumstances and instilled in my children; hope, of one day rejoicing with my family in heaven; and love, which covers over a multitude of less-than-perfect moments.

But the greatest of these is love. It is what remains... long after I am gone.

*Added by blog contributor. :)

baby videos

My friend (and maybe yours), Derek Holt, told me about this article about Baby Einstein and other such videos and their possible effects on infants. While I confess to owning the entire Baby Einstein collection, we do limit Lewis' TV viewing, and see the pros and cons of this type of thing. Anyway.....just wanted to post the link HERE, and would love to hear any comments you all might have about the article and/or your experience with baby videos. At 13 months, it's extremely difficult to tell the effect DVDs could be having on our boy for good or bad. He does get super excited when we put one on though, and once he's glued in it's virtually impossible to steal his attention from the screen. Those of you with older kids may have more insight into this issue. If so, please share!

article from local paper

Just to follow up from the other day.......here is the article from the Daily News about that incident.





Woman abandoned at tracks
Police say man left his pregnant girlfriend in vehicle with train coming
the Daily News
Published: August 8, 2007

Bowling Green Police Department officers found a man Tuesday shortly after he had parked a sport utility vehicle on railroad tracks with his pregnant girlfriend inside and walked away.

A train was headed south on the track when the white Mitsubishi Montero Sport was left. The woman was able to get out of the vehicle and the train was able to stop in time. Esteban Dejesus Lowery, 25, 5350 Louisville Road Lot 52, was charged with first-degree wanton endangerment.Krystal Juarbe, 18, who was Lowery’s girlfriend, was left inside the vehicle at the railroad tracks at Main Avenue at 10:25 a.m. Lowery took the keys with him when he abandoned the vehicle, said Officer Barry Pruitt, city police spokesman.

Juarbe lived with Lowery and she is seven months pregnant with his child.Police immediately began a search for Lowery and found him on foot at 10:45 a.m., Pruitt said.The two had been involved in an argument at the Warren County Justice Center, according to a city police report. Lowery was afraid that Juarbe was going to leave him in town and return to their house.Lowery grabbed Juarbe by the arm and dragged her back to the vehicle, according to the report. The two continued to argue and it was at that point Lowery parked the vehicle on the tracks and left.Dispatch notified CSX about the vehicle abandoned on the tracks and the company was able to stop its train heading southbound about 150 yards before it would have struck the vehicle, according to the report.

Lowery was found walking at West 12th Avenue and Vine Street. He denied knowing where the keys to the vehicle could be found, according to the report.The vehicle was towed off the railroad tracks. Lowery is in the Warren County Regional Jail on $10,000 bond.

caught on the tracks

Every morning Lewis and I take a walk. It has been so hot lately, but we have still managed to go almost every day. This morning ended on a shocking note when we approached the train tracks crossing over Main Street downtown. We saw an SUV pull onto the tracks. Immediately, the young man driving quickly got out, walking off into the distance. Soon after, a young woman, obviously 4-5 months pregnant, exited the passenger side door, screaming and somewhat hysterical. Someone in the car behind let her use his cell phone to call the police. While she was still on the phone, a train became visible, approaching from the North. The poor girl became more upset as a gentleman began waving his arms to the train, and as the police pulled up to help get the car off the tracks.

All the sudden, cops were everywhere, trying to find the young man. Standing there in shock, I had been waiting to see what would happen to the car as the train got closer. No one saw what happened to the driver, but the police were in pursuit. I called Justin, who works for the Daily News, and he said their photographers and reporters were on their way. Later he said they thought it was an attempted murder because the driver locked the car and took the keys with him. Fortunately, there are other ways to unlock cars, and his passenger maintained enough composure to figure that out. Still, it reminded me of an episode of CSI where an angry man pushed another car onto some train tracks just as a train was approaching at full speed. Thankfully, this situation ended much better than that. The train had time to stop, and I'm assuming they got the car off the tracks eventually with no one hurt, at least not physically.

Watching that poor girl standing there crying made me rather upset. Pregnancy is supposed to be a wonderful time, though often it is full of nausea and exhaustion that make it less than enjoyable. But having someone try to take your life in the middle of all that is the last thing an expectant mother should have to deal with. My heart absolutely sank for this girl who undoubtedly has entered into the hardest phase of her life. I can only guess that the driver of the car is the father of this baby, and probably does not want the responsibility. My hope is that she has some others who can help her through this, and that God will reveal himself to her in the midst of her pain. I can't help but hope that the young man is found and dealt with justly too. Of course, the baby is on my mind also, and just how this situation will surely have consequences throughout his/her life. It's heart breaking!

Thank God today for your many blessings.......especially your husband, who is undoubtedly a much better example than the one above. I'm so glad that the Lord created things in such a way that babies are given to couples, rather than individuals. Certainly there are cases where becoming a single parent turns out okay, but that is not God's original plan. Raising children is a team effort, and today I'm really grateful for my "team."

unconditional love

"Praise the Lord, O my soul; and forget not all his benefits--who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. ...

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."--Psalm 103:2-5, 8-12

Just to follow up on the last post, there are tons of scriptures like this, but Psalm 103 is one of my all time favorites. One of the things that helps me enjoy God most is remembering his unconditional love. Seeing in print that he does not treat us as our sins deserve reminds me that God still loves me despite the fact that I will sin (by falling into it or willingly finding it) as long as I am wrapped in my flesh here on Earth. His unconditional love is real after all!

Carrie's comment reminded me of something I learned on my first mission trip. Ten years ago I went to Nizhniy Novgorod, Russia for 7 long weeks in the summer. I was going to change the world and tell them all about Jesus. Well.....it turned out to be much harder than I expected. There was a certain amount of culture shock I had not counted on having, and as we met students it seemed that many of them were more interested in meeting Americans than in meeting the Messiah.

But one of our fearless leaders, Nate Jones, gave a devotion about God's unconditional love. He said that there was nothing any of us could do to make God love us any more or any less than He loved us right then in that moment. If we were to go and serve the Lord in Africa for the rest of our days, we would not earn any more of God's love.........and on the flip side, if we became absolute sloths and did nothing until our dying day, God would love us no less. There would be consequences to either choice, obviously, but it was so freeing to realize that my works do not earn God's favor. He loves me because he created me, and I will be most fulfilled and satisfied when I am submitting to His will for me.

That freedom allowed me to watch the Lord work that summer. He worked in and through me some, but more than anything, He worked through our group as we enjoyed fellowship with each other. Our joy spoke volumes to many people who were hurting and longing for purpose in a mostly atheistic culture. More than anything, I enjoyed depending on the Lord in a way I never had before.

Being a mom is similar because there are so many days that I either don't know what to do next in raising Lewis or I do not get done what I intended to do. Thinking about this concept of leisure the last couple of weeks has allowed me to enjoy some things I haven't done in a long time, sometimes leaving some chores undone. As always, thanks for your comments!

leisure?

This week I have been thinking about the concept of "leisure." In reading this month's chapter from Joyce Rupp's book (that I must comment on each month!), she addresses this topic under the guise of rediscovering our inner child. Rupp is a Catholic nun, as far as I can tell, and it is interesting to consider her perspective since she is not a parent, and yet takes great lengths to stay connected to children in a desire to keep her inner child alive. It sounds almost cheesy, and yet she takes the stance that children live in deep awe and wonder of the world around them, something that adults fail to do so much of the time. As God's children, we should strive to live in a state of wonder at God, and all the things He's made, and all that He is doing around us. Rupp writes:

"I believe that rediscovering our inner child can have a great impact on our spiritual life. This inner ability to wonder and to be in awe most helps us to become contemplative. Contemplation is the prayer of quiet in which we are at home with God. We do not need words. We can be content simply to look upon God and to have God look upon us with great love. Contemplation is the prayer of being in God's presence. Our inner child helps us to enjoy being over doing. In contemplation we do not worry about the success of our prayer or if God is going to answer our prayer or if we are praying the right way. We are simply being with God and enjoying God's presence.

"I once ready a translation of Psalm 46 that had the line 'Have leisure and know that I am God' rather than the familiar 'Be still and know that I am God.' In our true leisure times we can learn to be more receptive, more open, more peaceful, and more ready to recognize the many gifts in our life. Leisure is more than just not doing anything. It is intentionally enjoying life without having to be functional or productive. When we are experiencing leisure we often do not have anything to show for it except a happy heart or a spirit that relishes time spent alone or with others."

I'm not sure about you, but this is a very tough concept for me! It seems like Justin asks from time to time if there's something I want to go do, and offers to watch Lewis.....but I'm so out of touch with the idea of leisure and just enjoying life that it's hard for me to think of something that I can do that does not involve getting something crossed off my list.

The first question in the Westminster catechism asks about the chief end of man, and the answer is "To glorify God and enjoy him forever." Having some leisure time to just be with God, and even do something you enjoy is a wonderful way to fulfill this end. Lewis is a wonderful example of how to do this. He finds it amazing that cabinets open and close, and he chooses to do this over and over just for fun. It's funny that in our society, and even in the church, it seems more spiritual to constantly set aside your desires for work or to accomplish some goal. Really, God's intention is for us to enjoy our lives because our joy is evidence of His glory. It shows that our God is meeting our needs. Our contentment is a testimony to the magnificence of God.

None of this means that work is bad. We absolutely have to keep a balance, but the American work ethic is one that keeps most of us erring on the side of work, success, accomplishments etc.

So.....practically, my hope is to try to practice some leisure in the near future. If anyone has suggestions on how to do that, please let us know!!

incomprehensible

"See, the Sovereign Lord comes with power, and his arm rules for him. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him. He tends his flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?.......Who has understood the mind of the Lord, or instructed him as his counselor? Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten him, and who taught him the right way?...

'To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?' says the Holy One.'

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."--Isaiah 40:10-14, 25, 28-31

Over the last several weeks, my stress level has been gradually building. This weekend, Justin and I came to one of those make it or break it moments, in regards to our business, as "his right arm" (as he calls her) is on her way out. We have all new employees right now and since neither of us spends much time there, we rely on her to hold everything together.

Other factors have contributed to our general stress level. I've already posted about our mice issues, and lately we have added fleas to the list. The fleas (which must have been brought in by our recently departed cat) love Lewis. We have sprayed and vacuumed and yet they have survived in his room somehow.

Needless to say, all of this stuff has made me feel somewhat out of control and like I could lose my mind at any moment. On Sunday, we heard a powerful sermon on Isaiah 40, much of which is quoted above. It was such an awesome reminder of God's power, but also his tenderness toward us as his beloved children. Sometimes my view of God becomes skewed. I tend to think of him as "big" but not HUGE. Maybe I have been away from the water for too long. It seems like sitting in front of the ocean is a clear picture of how vast and endless our God is. He's not just a little bit bigger than us. He's not even just a little bigger than the ocean, or mountains. He literally holds this entire world in his hands. I can't wrap my mind around this concept, but I think that it is intentional that God is incomprehensible. We have limited understanding, where His is infinite. It must be baffling to him that I so often question what he is doing. I--in my tiny brain, which He created--think I could it do things better so much of the time.

This passage set the backdrop for a good pleading session with the Lord early in the week. Justin and I do not pray together as much as we should. We were much better about it early in our marriage. But seeing our desperate need this week, together acknowledged our need to the Lord, and asked him to act on our behalf. We prayed about a whole lot of things, but our most immediate need, he met almost instantly. One of our former employees has agreed to work for us again and fill the coming void. We can't begin to describe what a relief this is to both of us.

There are still plenty of things for me to worry about, but I also have renewed hope. I know that God not only SEES us and knows our needs, but he is sovereign, willing, and able to act to meet those needs. It seems like I've learned this lesson over and over, but seeing God work so obviously never gets old.

encouraging article

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."--Psalm 46:1

This article appeared in the Radiant Newsletter last week. The author does not appear to be a mom, but her story is one we can relate to and empathize with. For me, the tendencies to "overthink" and worry about things I have little or no control over can overtake me when I'm not careful. Jannet's story is a great reminder of God's faithfulness to us......even when we don't deserve it.

My Scar

By Jannet Kwon

As a curious 3-year-old, I once stuck a metal fork into an electrical socket. You can guess what happened next. The results were shocking.

That was more than 20 years ago, and I definitely don’t stick forks into electrical sockets anymore. In fact, I try to steer clear of anything that may cause injury.

But last year I found myself on a surgery bed. I hadn’t gotten injured doing something adventurous or exciting, like cliff diving or snowboarding. (Maybe that would’ve made for a better story.) The surgeon was taking out a benign tumor in my right breast—something that I discovered late one night after doing a breast self-exam before going to bed. The surgery was minor, and the whole experience seemed both huge and insignificant at the same time. It was huge because I had never gone through surgery, yet insignificant because the tumor was benign and the procedure is not uncommon for women in their mid-20s. So maybe this wasn’t such a big deal after all, I thought. I tried to just move on and forget about the whole thing.

But doesn’t everything happen for a reason? I couldn’t shake this question out of my brain, and the small, pink line across my breast couldn’t let me forget, no matter how hard I tried. Every time I came out of the shower, it was staring at me in the mirror; I bought scar-removing ointment at the drugstore. If I sat in my car a certain way, the seat belt strap would rub against it; I just shifted positions in my seat.

I’ve been struggling with health problems for a few years now. I have a hormone imbalance and I have a weak liver. My prayer has constantly been for God to heal me. Heal me so that I don’t have to take any more medication. Heal me so that I can be stronger. So that I can run. So that I won’t get headaches. So that I won’t be easily tired. Just heal me. And even after all these prayers, I still have a hormone imbalance and a weak liver.

The surgery was another way that I felt physically defeated. I wanted to block out my health problems and the surgery. I wanted to leave things at the surface. But something I’ve learned about God is that He doesn’t just let us float; He plunges us into the deep. If we’re ready, we’ll see what’s waiting for us at the bottom, but

if we’re not, we’ll think we’re drowning.

My surgery happened about a year after I returned from a mission trip that had radically changed the way I viewed God and myself. On this particular trip I had gone through a lot of healing and had gained a lot of knowledge and truth about God’s character. Looking back, I see that if the surgery had happened a year earlier, I would have been shaking my fists toward heaven and lamenting. OK, not really, not in the Old Testament sort of way—in sackcloth and throwing ashes on my head—but in the 21st-century sort of way: getting angry, depressed, accusatory and turning my back on God. But when it happened, I was at a place where I had grown spiritually so that I was ready to take on the pain and go into the deep. I knew that God wouldn’t allow me to drown. So what exactly did He want me to see?

Just like any relationship, my relationship with God is confusing and trying at times. I have to consciously remind myself that if God gave up His only son for me, to take away the most evil thing—separation from Him—He most certainly doesn’t want to harm me. There was nothing that I could do to change the situation. I had to give up my worrying and overthinking tendencies and just trust God. The more I trust Him, the more I love Him, because He continues to live up to my expectations—a God who will never leave me.

I cannot do anything alone. It is through God’s love that I can find strength and peace. I believe He allowed this scar to be etched onto my body as a physical reminder that He is with me in the big events and in my most vulnerable moments. Rather than being an ugly mark on my body, my scar now serves as a beautiful reminder that God’s been here for me through all of my physical and spiritual struggles.

And when those new, unexpected obstacles appear (which I’m sure they will), my scar will be a sign of comfort and strength, knowing that I am not alone and God is powerful enough to carry me through hazy and uncertain circumstances.

Jannet is an editor for a Christian organization based in Los Angeles. She enjoys spending time with friends, discussing song lyrics and hanging out in bookstores.

angry mama

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."--James 1:19-20.

Lewis turned one year-old today! It's really hard to believe that his first year of life is over. He is no longer an infant, even a baby. Though he's not really toddling, I'm sure he's moved into that phase of life. He, at the very least, desperately desires to be independent and walk on his own. Still, with his growth comes more moods and preferences. I'm sad to say that his expression of these new preferences lately has resulted in frustration and anger on my part--thus these verses from James to help me refocus.

This time last year I was excited about being a new mom and desperately wanting to conquer breastfeeding and bring my baby home. Now, when Lewis takes what seem to be steps back (refusing to feed himself or eat veggies he's happily eaten for up to 6 months) it is hard for me to deal with. Without taking a breath and stepping back to think, my anger can quickly overcome me. And I can certainly agree with James that anger does not bring about righteousness. It causes me to say things I regret, or worse yet, to more easily give into anger the next time which lends to general grumpiness and a bad mood. No husband wants to come home to a wife like that!

And Lewis certainly does not intend to hurt me or cause me harm. He just knows that for whatever reason, green beans are not as tasty as they once were, and if that's his choice, he might rather not eat. It should be no surprise that throwing Cheerios all over the floor is tons of fun too, right?

It also occurs to me that this is not the worst phase we will go through in parenting. Lewis is not even talking yet! I realize that by choosing to let the Spirit live through me in these encounters now, it will be easier as time goes on to react well when difficult situations arise. My friend, Heather Morozov, always says you have to pick your battles, and I'm learning now which things are big enough to fight for, and which ones to let go of for the moment. Either way, anger does not accomplish anything good.

I write this almost reluctantly, trusting that there are others who struggle with this kind of thing. You don't have to confess it here if you do, but just know you're not alone! No one is ever going to be perfect in any area. I'm sure more failures will come for me in this, but we should strive to to overcome our sinful tendencies through the power of the Spirit. Thank God we don't have to do it alone!

the dangers of hand sanitizer

My sister sent me this link at snopes.com to some info about kids who have gotten "drunk" after licking hand sanitizer off their hands. Lots of people use this stuff these days, and a lot of it smells rather appetizing.....so pass the word to help other parents avoid these kind of terrifying experiences.

children and church

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching." --Hebrews 10:23-25

Lately it seems that many of the people in my life are struggling with "church." Justin and I are no different, unfortunately, as we are currently without a church home. We really don't expect to find the perfect church, but really desire to worship and serve, and impact our community, while still being challenged to practically apply God's Word to our lives everyday. And we want fellowship with others who are also striving to live holy lives. It seems simple enough!

But then there is another factor that we must consider as well. We want to find a place where Lewis will have every opporunity to encounter the Lord too, and where he can grow up learning about Jesus and how to walk with him.

So, knowing that we are not alone, my hope is to hear from some of you through this "survey" about how others deal with this issue. If you would rather not share your identity, that is fine. You can always leave a comment anonymously on this blog. The easiest way to participate is to copy (CTRL C/APPLE C) these questions and paste (CTRL V) them into the comments spot. I'm really not fishing for right answers here, just wanting to learn from you.

1--Name (OPTIONAL)
2--Your kids' ages (OPTIONAL)
3--Many of you have moved recently or changed churches. How has having children affected the whole process of finding a church home?
4--How has having children impacted your church attendance? Are you more regular, less regular or about the same and why?
5--How do you feel about church nurseries? Do you use them, like them etc.? If you have put your children in a nursery at some point, describe your experience--good, bad etc.
6--How has the church been a source of encouragement to you as parents?
7--Complete the statement- "In the area of ministry to parents and/or children, I wish my church would __________ ."
8--Do you have any advice for young parents regarding church involvement?

Thanks!

top names of 2006

This came from www.ivillage.com:

Here are the top 10 boys and girls names for 2006:

To see how popular your name or kids' names are go to the Social Security Administration's website.

do not fear

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."--Joshua 1:8-9

Fear is a very odd thing. It feels like it comes up when you least expect it, and it can terribly disturb our very lives. Women are certainly more prone to fear than men are, or maybe it is another kind of fear. Men fear failure and letting others down. Women fear physical harm and often various irrational things that have only a slight chance of ever occurring. We fear spiders, thunderstorms, and the unknown. Motherhood brings a whole new group of fears. We worry about our pregnancies, and keeping the babies inside us safe. We worry about the delivery of those babies. Then when they are here we worry about so many aspects of their little lives and anything that might get in the way of a normal existence. It is easy to let fear consume us if we are not careful.

This week there have been several scary things happen that brought fear into our home. The first, a mouse, was relatively harmless. Still, when I found several ketchup packets torn to shreds in one of our kitchen drawers I felt violated, in a way, that there was an uninvited guest rummaging through our things. When I saw the little guy, I was not terrified like the first time I saw a mouse in our home (just after we got married). But this time, as a mom, it upset me that a dirty creature was spreading his germs around our kitchen. My hero, Justin, set a trap that night and the next morning our mouse was no longer an issue!

A few days later, Justin was working in the evening, as he does two nights a week. I had put Lewis to bed around 9 p.m., but he was having trouble falling to sleep for some reason, and I had been in and out of his room a number of times when I heard a knock at the door. We do not have any way to see people without opening the door, and since we never have random people stop by after dark, I was immediately worried about who it might be. I called Justin and asked if he knew of anyone who might be coming by. He said that I should just ask, "Who's there" if the knocking continued.

Well, sure enough, a few minutes later, there was another knock, and with my phone in hand, I asked, "Who is it?" I must've asked loudly about three times before I heard a man respond, "It's your next door neighbor." That did not help me at all! Some people just moved out on one side of us, but why would a new neighbor choose this time of night to introduce himself? So I asked, "Can I help you with something?" He said, "I just wanted to ask you a question." Still skeptical, I said, "I'm in the middle of putting my son to bed right now." He said okay, and a few minutes later I heard a car pull away out on the street.

A few days have gone by now, and our 'neighbor' has not returned to ask his question, which leaves me to my original theory that this was someone with malicious intent looking for a naive person to open their door to a stranger. I have prayed for our protection many times since then. The thought that someone could harm me is scary enough, but my blood boils when I think someone may want to harm my child.

Still, I've heard on a number of occasions that the most repeated command in scripture is 'Do not fear' or 'Do not be afraid.' It helps me to realize that God is my protector and my refuge. He is able to see all those things and/or people who could potentially bring me harm. And yet, time and again, he asks me to trust him, and to take shelter in him. Whether your fear comes from spiders, mice, or mysterious knocks in the night, the Lord is with you wherever you go. It doesn't mean that nothing bad will ever happen. I have to remind myself that if he allows harm to come to my family, that it is not random, but that he has a specific purpose in mind for every trial that comes our way. Worrying about it only locks me into a prison of fear that I cannot escape on my own. That's not to say that I don't have moments when I am afraid, but God consistently provides comfort, and a way out from dwelling on that fear.

my faith journey

"I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away'......I did not see a temple in the city, because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple.....Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life."--Revelation 21:2-4, 22 & 27.

When I was 6 years-old (the latter part of my kindergarten year), my family attended an Alliance Church in Louisville. One day my Sunday school teacher, Mrs. Lolly, who seemed incredibly ancient at the time, told us about the Lamb's book of life. She said the Bible talked about this book, and whoever had their name written in it would go to heaven. I can't remember another single thing we learned in her class, but that idea stuck with me. I went home determined to get my name in that book, and asked my mom for help.

She explained to me that we are sinful, like when I would fight with my sister, or disobey her or my dad. Because of our sins, we needed forgiveness before God to be able to be in his presence in heaven. The problem was (and still is) that there is nothing we can do to earn his forgiveness. Only a perfect sacrifice would be acceptable to God, and since none of us are perfect, Christ (who I later learned was God in the flesh, also God's son, the third person of the Trinity) came and died in our place. She told me that if I confessed my sin to God, and invited Jesus into my life and into my heart, that I would be forgiven of all sin, and my name would be written in the Lamb's Book of Life.

I remember after that, asking my mom to write my name in my Bible on the page that separated the Old and New Testaments. I wanted a visual reminder of my salvation. It's funny because I look back and realize that at the time, there was so little of my faith that made sense. But as I grew, the pieces came together more and more. By the time I was in middle school, my nickname became "Thumper" (short for Bible thumper, someone told me) because I was always talking to the other kids about Jesus. I wanted them all to discover the joy of a relationship with God, and to go to heaven, of course. In my zeal, I'm sure I was fairly obnoxious, but I really cared for people.

Looking back, I'm so grateful that I came to know the Lord at an early age. Some have told me that they don't think it's possible for children that young to understand the gospel, but my memory of the whole thing is so vivid, I'm certain that it happened for me, and I know of others with similar experiences.

Lately, as I've been praying for Lewis, that is one of my main requests, that he would grasp the gospel early, come to know Christ, and avoid a lot of sin that could entangle and harm him. Becoming a Christian does not ensure a perfect life, but my prayer is that Lewis would grow to love the Lord and desire to please him, trusting him with everything. We pray for wisdom to raise him to be a leader and to go against the flow of society when it goes against God's revealed will in scripture. I'm looking forward to the day when Lewis might point me toward the truth when I inevitably lose my cool or whatever. He will see me at my worst, no doubt!

Anyway, I was curious if any of you had anything that you pray for often for your kids. Maybe it's because of your own faith journey (which you can post as well, if you want), or maybe you start praying and end up somewhere unexpected. If you have anything you'd like to share, we would all certainly benefit.

making yogurt

We posted something on our family blog about making baby yogurt recently, and I found a website that had an illustrated guide that looks like it would work well. You can check it out HERE.

We have made several batches now, and it is really easy, once you get the hang of it. We have a French press coffeemaker that I've been using to make our yogurt. A wide-mouth jar would work almost just as well. Before starting, be sure to sterilize all utensils and containers you want to use. I just boil water and fill/soak everything for about 5 minues.

My steps end up being:

1). Pour whole milk into the French press (approx. 1/2 gallon), and put the whole thing into a large cooking pot full of water without covering. Using a cooking thermometer, heat the milk to 180 degrees F.

2). Cool the milk at room temperature (we tried cooling in the fridge and room temp. is just as easy) stirring often until milk reaches 112 degrees F. Set out starter (3 to 4 Tbl. of plain yogurt) while milk cools.

3). Once cooled, add some of the hot milk to the starter and stir. Then rejoin with rest of hot milk. Add 1/3 to 1/2 cup fat-free powdered milk for additional nutrition and to thicken. This has really made a difference for us, though it is optional. Stir thoroughly, cover with plastic wrap and/or lid to keep bacteria out. The French press has a very small hole in the top which allows me to keep the thermometer submerged and yet easily visible for checking the temperature during incubation. However you do it, keep your thermometer visible in such a way that you will not have to disturb the yogurt. Any stirring, jiggling etc. will mess it up, trust me!!

4). Incubate for 4+ hours keeping the temperature between 90 and 120 degrees F. I have found that resubmerging the French press into the warm water used in Step1, and covering with a towel keeps the temperature for 4+ hours. I still check every hour or so, but really it holds very well. The cooler method used on the link above looks great too, if your cooler is really clean, which ours is not. :)

5). After 4 hours, check to see if it is done by tilting your container or touching with a clean finger. Four hours works great for us. We then refrigerate in a different container, let it sit for another hour at least before serving and then add fruit or whatever before giving to baby. Your baby will eat it plain (so they say), but I like to combine it with something. Keep a few tablespoons out as a starter for your next batch. The kicker here is that you need to make your next batch within a week. It is still much cheaper than store bought yogurt. TIP FROM LINK ABOVE: I just noticed that you can also freeze some of the yogurt as a starter and thaw the next time you're ready to make yogurt. That sounds like a good alternative!

Your batch of yogurt will keep in the fridge up to 2 weeks.

I'm still a beginner, but have enjoyed the process of making yogurt. It's fun! After your second batch you'll hardly have to pay attention to what you're doing and if you're at home anyway it takes little effort to do. Babysit that first batch, and don't give up if it fails the first time. My first batch was not edible! Since then it has worked great.

disturbing article

This was something Justin came across in the NY Times:

Death by Veganism
By NINA PLANCK
The NY Times

WHEN Crown Shakur died of starvation, he was 6 weeks old and weighed
3.5 pounds. His vegan parents, who fed him mainly soy milk and apple
juice, were convicted in Atlanta recently of murder, involuntary
manslaughter and cruelty.

This particular calamity — at least the third such conviction of
vegan parents in four years — may be largely due to ignorance. But it
should prompt frank discussion about nutrition.

I was once a vegan. But well before I became pregnant, I concluded
that a vegan pregnancy was irresponsible. You cannot create and
nourish a robust baby merely on foods from plants.

Indigenous cuisines offer clues about what humans, naturally
omnivorous, need to survive, reproduce and grow: traditional
vegetarian diets, as in India, invariably include dairy and eggs for
complete protein, essential fats and vitamins. There are no vegan
societies for a simple reason: a vegan diet is not adequate in the
long run.

Protein deficiency is one danger of a vegan diet for babies.
Nutritionists used to speak of proteins as “first class” (from meat,
fish, eggs and milk) and “second class” (from plants), but today this
is considered denigrating to vegetarians.

The fact remains, though, that humans prefer animal proteins and fats
to cereals and tubers, because they contain all the essential amino
acids needed for life in the right ratio. This is not true of plant
proteins, which are inferior in quantity and quality — even soy.

A vegan diet may lack vitamin B12, found only in animal foods; usable
vitamins A and D, found in meat, fish, eggs and butter; and necessary
minerals like calcium and zinc. When babies are deprived of all these
nutrients, they will suffer from retarded growth, rickets and nerve
damage.

Responsible vegan parents know that breast milk is ideal. It contains
many necessary components, including cholesterol (which babies use to
make nerve cells) and countless immune and growth factors. When
breastfeeding isn’t possible, soy milk and fruit juice, even in
seemingly sufficient quantities, are not safe substitutes for a
quality infant formula.

Yet even a breast-fed baby is at risk. Studies show that vegan breast
milk lacks enough docosahexaenoic acid, or DHA, the omega-3 fat found
in fatty fish. It is difficult to overstate the importance of DHA,
vital as it is for eye and brain development.

A vegan diet is equally dangerous for weaned babies and toddlers, who
need plenty of protein and calcium. Too often, vegans turn to soy,
which actually inhibits growth and reduces absorption of protein and
minerals. That’s why health officials in Britain, Canada and other
countries express caution about soy for babies. (Not here, though —
perhaps because our farm policy is so soy-friendly.)

Historically, diet honored tradition: we ate the foods that our
mothers, and their mothers, ate. Now, your neighbor or sibling may be
a meat-eater or vegetarian, may ferment his foods or eat them raw.
This fragmentation of the American menu reflects admirable diversity
and tolerance, but food is more important than fashion. Though it’s
not politically correct to say so, all diets are not created equal.

An adult who was well-nourished in utero and in infancy may choose to
get by on a vegan diet, but babies are built from protein, calcium,
cholesterol and fish oil. Children fed only plants will not get the
precious things they need to live and grow.

Nina Planck is the author of “Real Food: What to Eat and Why.”

a great painter

"Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?"--John 18:11

"Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?"--Job 2:10

Taken from Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman. This excerpt is by Tauler:

"God is a thousand times more meticulous with us than even an artist is with his canvas. Using many brush strokes of sorrow, and circumstances of various colors, He paints us into the highest and best image He visualizes, if we will only receive His bitter gifts of myrrh in the right spirit.

Yet when our cup of sorrows is taken away and the lessons in it are suppressed or go unheeded, we do more damage to our soul than could ever be repaired. No human heart can imagine the incomparable love God expresses in His gift of myrrh. However, this great gift that our soul should receive is allowed to pass by us because of our sleepy indifference, and ultimately nothing comes of it.

Then, in our barrenness we come and complain, saying, 'O Lord, I feel so dry, and there is so much darkness within me!' My advice to you, dear child, is to open your heart to the pain and suffering, and it will accomplish more good than being full of emotion and sincerity."

hiatus

"The Lord is my strength and my shield: my heart trusts in him, and I am helped."--Psalm 28:7

Forgive the posting hiatus! This week quickly turned into one heap of laundry after another when Lewis (now almost 11 months old) got his first ever stomach-virus. Unfortunately, I followed suit, and got to experience the agony of nausea that had nothing to do with pregnancy. It was not fun. But we are both on the downhill slope now. We're not quite 100%, but almost. It seems like health is something we tend to take for granted when we have it, and long for when we don't. Today was gorgeous, and I really enjoyed feeling almost normal after yesterday.

I became quickly grateful for so many of the conveniences we have in washing machines and dryers, disposable diapers, and my trusty breast pump to keep me from getting totally uncomfortable when Lewis didn't want to nurse. It was tough caring for him when I was feeling junky, but it made me so grateful that most days I feel just fine. There are so many people who struggle with illness and fatigue everyday. I really don't know how they do it. I'm also grateful for a husband who is willing to make me pancakes for dinner and mess with Lewis after a full day of work at a less-than-satisfying job. He also made a special trip to get me a frosty around 9:30 p.m. What a guy!

And for the first time, I was so happy that my boy is not crawling all over the place. It was so nice to be able to watch Lewis play while lying on the couch, resting, and know that he was not going anywhere! I'm pretty sure I drifted off to sleep a couple of times, but he never moved an inch. Next week, I'll be pushing him to mobility, but this week it was a relief that he has not figured it out quite yet.

Thanks for your encouraging comments on this blog and our family blog too. I really feel a sense of camaraderie with my fellow "mommas" out there. I'm glad we can help each other figure this parenting thing out. Hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day!

my mom

With Mother's Day approaching, my thoughts have turned to my mom, and the chasm that now exists between us. She's with the Lord, and certainly thrilled to be there. I'm happy for her, and certainly glad that she is free from the sufferings that came to her physically before she passed. Still, I can't say that I don't miss her. In fact, sometimes it seems like the more that times goes on, the more I miss her and wish I could pick her brain on a range of issues.

To give you a little background, my mom grew up in a pretty difficult situation. My grandmother had been married due to unplanned pregnancies twice, and divorced both times by the time my mom was 8. In fact, mom saw her father for the last time when she was just 10 years-old. Grandma told mom on several occasions that if abortion had been legal when she was conceived, she would've never been born. Mom was passed around quite a bit among her relatives and struggled from a low self-esteem. Still, at age 12 at a church camp, mom invited Christ into her life. It was not until much later that mom really grew in her faith through an organization called the Navigators. The unconditional love of a discipler/mentor helped mom to mature spiritually and socially, which equipped her for the ministry God had for her.

Because of her own rough childhood, mom worked hard to create a loving environment for my sisters and me. Despite our low income early on, mom never worked outside the home, and she was anything but a lazy housewife! She was always available for us after school, which meant alot, especially when we got into high school and other kids started getting into trouble. Her ministry went far beyond our family too. She had compassion for people that was hard to match. There were always tons of people around our house. We had Youth For Christ meetings in our home when my sisters got into high school. We had several people who lived with us for varying amounts of time because mom found it hard to turn down someone in need. She was involved in another ministry called Stonecroft, leading Bible studies all over Louisville. She had groups in random businesses on their lunch hour, in the ghetto or in people's homes. Even when she got cancer she adopted the nurses and other patients going through chemotherapy.

It was truly amazing at her funeral to see hundreds of people who had been influenced by her life; a diverse group of all ages and races. She made it clear at her funeral what she wanted them to know--Christ can take a broken life and turn it around for his glory. She was proof!

Four years ago this weekend, I came home from Belarus, leaving staff with Campus Crusade. Justin had proposed a couple months earlier, and I had returned to prepare for our marriage. It was the last time I got to surprise mom. She thought I was coming back the next week, but I got home in time for Mother's Day, much to her delight. For the next 5 months or so, we saw mom steadily decline until the chemo stopped working altogether. Her two-years of treatments were coming to an end. The cancer was mutating so quickly that it was almost instantly immune to new drugs. The last six weeks were the hardest because she was suffering, and I was there to witness much of the agony. Even then, she clung to the Word of God for strength and looked forward to meeting her creator in person. I remember finding her one day watching HGTV, crying. When I asked her what was going on she said, "I can't decide if I want to go to heaven and be with the Lord, or if I want to plant a garden and watch it grow." Then she started laughing. Both options seemed really good at the time.

Honestly, at the time of mom's death, there was great relief. Watching her die sucked the life out of me, and I was ready to be revived. It was not until a few months later that I began to really feel the void. It still haunts me. Pregnancy and motherhood have brought a new desire for my mom. She wanted so badly to have grandchildren and I would so love to see the look on her face meeting her grandson for the first time. Maybe I'll still get to see that first encounter in heaven someday. But for now I have to muddle through without her. Mothers love in a way that no one else can. They love deeply, unconditionally and completely. Even their unwarranted advice is a sign of their love. What I would give now for some of that advice. Some days are easy, but many are hard, and I realize that I will never get over this loss. But I guess I'm not supposed to.

My dad told me recently that my mom would be proud of me for breastfeeding Lewis and the job I've done so far. There's no greater compliment in my mind. She had her problems, but she set an example that I want to follow. I see glimpses of her in myself some days and smile.

out of deep waters into delight

"I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies....
He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.......He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me."--Psalm 18:1-3,16 & 19.

Sometimes it's hard to imagine the Lord delighting in me. Sometimes I don't feel very delightful. But if it's anything like the joy that Lewis brings to Justin and I, it's a wonderful thing! Just hearing Lewis cooing in the morning makes me giddy. He is so cute and sweet. In the morning he is especially silly. Once he has eaten he starts jumping and "talking" loudly. He often chooses that time to give several sloppy kisses. He doesn't have a lot of ways to show his affection, but I definitely take delight in the simple things he does to communicate his love. Even at 10 months old he is able to express love, and there is nothing sweeter to a mom. It is so humbling that God has entrusted us with this precious life for the next 18 years or so!

To think that God looks at me in the same way is such a comforting thought. There are many things I say and do that must disappoint him. Still, I know that he sees me as a whole person, and must see my heart and my true desire to bring him glory. Unfortunately, I do not carry out this desire flawlessly all the time, but it is the absolute passion of my life, and one I long to develop more and more. Today as you look at your child, allow yourself to consider that the God who made you is looking on you too and delighting in you.

praying for purpose

Here a short excerpt from Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures For Your Children," specifically from the chapter 'Praying For Your Child's Purpose in Life.' Jodie writes:

"Rather than pigeonholing or manipulating our kids into a life path that might not line up with God's design, let's learn to see our kids through God's eyes--and align ourselves with his plan for their lives. To this end, author Jean Fleming recommends regular times of prayer and planning for each child. As we bring our children before the Lord, she says we should:

* ACKNOWLEDGE God's hand on their lives, even before they born.
* ADMIT any areas we resent in the way God put our children together.
* ACCEPT God's design for each child, thanking him for how he or she was made.
* AFFIRM God's purpose in creating our children for his glory.
* ALLY ourselves with God in his plans for their lives.

Of course, trusting in God and his plan for our kids--along with accepting his timetable--is not always easy. But if we remember that he loves them (even more than we do), and that he promises to work in all things for the good of those who love him, we can quit pushing and prodding--and get down to the real business of praying."

in the Bible and on LOST

"So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife. Then he went to her, and the Lord enabled her to conceive, and she gave birth to a son. The women said to Naomi: "Praise be to the Lord, who this day has not left you without a kinsman-redeemer. May he become famous throughout Israel! He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age. For your daughter-in-law, who loves you and who is better to you than seven sons, has given him birth." --Ruth 4:13-15

If any of you watch the show LOST you may be finding the connection between the island and fertility very curious!! People who conceive there seem to have trouble, but then again people who otherwise couldn't get pregnant, all the sudden are able to. Who knows what will become of this dilemma. We keep expecting Bernard and Rose to show back up with a baby on the way too. That theory is probably too far fetched even for LOST.

Still, in a similar way, throughout both the Old and New Testaments, God shows himself to be very involved in the fertility and/or infertility of women. In this passage in Ruth, "God enabled her to conceive," and her line continues all the way to Christ. Have you ever wondered about how amazing it was that both of Naomi's daughters-in-law had not become pregnant before the death of their husbands? Without birth control like we have now, it would seem like the vast majority of couples would have had babies immediately. Maybe part of Naomi's struggle with the Lord in this passage was due to the fact that she lost her husband, both of her sons, AND she had no grandchildren resulting from either of those unions to bring her fulfillment or to continue the family name. It seems rather odd that it happened this way.

Most of us probably feel somewhat, if not totally, in control of our reproductive lives, and yet passages like this indicate that the Lord is still very involved and ultimately totally in control of how many babies we produce. And because of God's holy character, we know that His plan is ALWAYS good. We may not be able to see it this way when our desires do not come to fruition the way we had hoped. Still, Naomi's story shows that God does not forget about his children. He often does things in such a way that He is brought the utmost glory.

I have seen this even in cases where couples have not been able to conceive on their own. Parents who otherwise may not have considered adoption end up raising the children God had intended to be theirs all along.

However our story plays out, it is awesome to know that every life has the mark of the Creator, and with it an inexplicable hope of things to come. This hope reflects the ultimate hope we have for heaven. Thankfully, we do not have to wait to begin enjoying eternal life. It begins when we receive Christ. It's like Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:12: "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."

random nursing story

Sometimes people really surprise me. Yesterday was no exception. I was driving home from a visit with Justin's parents in Shepherdsville. My plan for Lewis to sleep the whole way did not pan out, and he was getting fussy and we were still a good 30 miles from home. So I pulled off in Munfordville, KY behind the DQ in the parking lot of a strip mall, determined to feed Lewis as quickly as possible and get back on the road. We've done this many times in desperate situations where there was no private area to nurse a baby. Side note: I'm not into breastfeeding in public. Lewis refuses to stay covered up and gets so distracted that I usually feed him in a low-lit room even at home.

My strategy in these parked-car situations is to pull to the back of the lot where there are few, if any, other cars. I have to sit in the passenger seat so that there is room to maneuver. In Munfordville, I found my spot, got set up and started nursing, when about 5 cars pulled in and parked all around me. I had rolled down the windows because it was hot, and so the car on my right was very up close and personal. I turned to look, trying to stay covered, and was relieved that it was a woman, probably in her 40's. I smiled and nodded and turned my attention back to Lewis. This woman proceeded to stand there, watching, saying sweetly, "Oh my, you have a LITTLE one!" When I realized she was not going to leave I said, "He gets very distracted while he eats if you don't mind." She quickly turned and walked off, seemingly offended.

The next thing I knew, a car was backing into the spot to my left. When this car got parked, the driver also had a very good view. To my dismay, this driver was a man, who rolled down his windows and just sat there! Lewis was angry because I was no longer feeding him at all with our new visitor. Frustrated I turned to the man and said, "Excuse me, I'm trying to nurse my baby. Is it possible you could park somewhere else?" He seemed sincerely apologetic and said, "I'm sorry, sure I can move. I'm just here to pick someone up from some training. They told us to park back here."

Just my luck!! As soon as my new friend left, I calmed down and was able to feed my boy, and we were back on the road in no time. The situation was frustrating, but I could not figure out why the first lady felt so comfortable watching a stranger nurse. It seemed obvious that I was trying to be private. My mothering reaction was to chase off the intruder, at which I quickly succeeded. Maybe someone should invent window shades that provide cover saying, "EXCUSE ME, I'm breastfeeding!" I'm sure this little lady in Munfordville is writing on her blog about what a rude, young mother chased her away from a beautiful moment. Hopefully we will both be able to move on and forgive each other. :)

Sorry to vent. I just couldn't believe it! Early on strangers said all kinds of weird things to me just walking around with Lewis, but this one took the cake!! Do any of you have any weird stories like this?